First of all, what the heck happened to my country?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

And secondly, the next person who says "America is number one" is going to get a sit down lecture about our standing in the world, our losses in Iraq and Afghanistan, our exorbitant military cost, wasteful spending, soaring gas prices, dependence on foreign militant regimes, breaking of the geneva convention, internment of war prisoners in places like Syria, the mortgage crisis, consumer debt crisis, federal deficit, outstanding federal debt, falling dollar, trade deficit, high crime rates, poor manners while vacationing in other countries, the statistic that 2 out of 5 people here even know where Iraq is on a map, the lack of universal healthcare or affordable education, our position as the second worst polluter on Earth behind China who is 3.1 times more populous, our rampant ignorance about basic facts and science, and our xenophobia, racism, and sexism.


In spite of all that, I love America. Why? Because I married her, that's why. Till death do us part.

God bless America! Land that I love!


USA! USA! USA!