Re: Mafia VIII: Return of the Recommencement of the Revenge of the Mafia
It had been a long evening. Chief of Police Beirut, desperate to get home in time to watch his favorite television program (Parking Wars), was mortified to learn that there had been a tie vote and that voting was to thus be extended. Several times he had been fingering his pistol, itching to take it out and blast both "finalists" just to end this thing.
"After all, they're probably both guilty," he mused. "I'm doing the town a favor." But of course, he didn't shoot, as if restrained by some unspoken force, some overser of the town.
Eventually, things finally sorted themselves out (after Parking Wars had finished, of course), and TinCow, lawyer extraordinare, was determined guilty of killing several citizens of the Kingdom of Peace and Love.
"TinCow," Beirut said, "You are hereby found guilty of murder, which, by the state of New Jersey Code of Criminal Justice, falls into the category of 2C:11-2: Criminal homicide." TinCow suddenly started sweating bullets as Beirut pulled out a stack of papers and began reading.
"Criminal homicide, defined as when a person is guilty if he purposely, knowingly, recklessly or, under the circumstances set forth in 2C:11-5, which I will address at a later time, causes the death of another human being. Criminal homicide is divided into subcategories of murder, manslaughter, or death by auto, the charge of murder having already been specified in your case in the first paragraph of my monologue."
The crowd already started filing away. They wanted blood, not somebody droning on and on about somebody's crime! This was highly unlike Beirut.
"Section 2C:11-2.1," Beirut said, "Murder. Now, according to the aforementioned New Jersey Code of Criminal Justice, which doesn't even really apply here but it's the first code I could get my hand on, criminal homicide constitutes murder when:
(1) The actor, in this case being you, purposely causes death or serious bodily injury resulting in death; or
(2) The actor, again, being you, knowingly causes death or serious bodily injury resulting in death; or
(3) It is committed when the actor, still you, acting either alone or with one or more other persons, is engaged in the commission of, or an attempt to commit, or flight after committing or attempting to commit robbery, sexual assault (doesn't really apply to you, or at least I hope it doesn't), arson, burglary, kidnapping, carjacking, criminal escape or terrorism perusant to section 2 of P.L.2002, clause 26 (C.2C:38-2), and in the course of such crime or of immediate flight therefrom, any person causes the death of a person other than one of the participants; except that in any prosecution of this subsection, in which the defendant was not the only participant in the underlying crime, it is an affirmative defense that the defendant... I'm just going to skip over this part because it doesn't really apply since this isn't a proper court per se, so we'll just move onto...
(4) ...any person convicted under subsection a.(1) or (2) who committed the homicidal act by his own conduct; or who as an accomplice procured the commission of the offense by payment or promise of paymentof anything of pecuniary value, pecuniary defined by dictionary.com as an adjective; 'of or pertaining to money'; or who, as a leader of a narcotics trafficking network as defined in N.J. Section 2, Clause 35-3, and in furtherance of a conspiracy enumarated in N.J. Section 2, Clause 35-3, commanded or by threat or promise solicited the commission of the offense, or, if the murder occured during the comission of the crime of terrorism, any person who committed the crime of terrorism, shall be sentenced by the court to life imprionment without eligibility for parole (for our purpose, we'll change this section to read 'immediate execution'), which sentence shall be served in a maximum security prison (again, this will be changed), if a jury finds beyond a reasonable doubt that any of the following aggravating factors exist:
(a) The defendant has been convicted, at any time, of another murder. This is you, since you've killed multiple people. For purposes of this section, a conviction shall be deemed final when sentence is imposed and may be used as an aggravating factor regardless of whether it is on appeal;
(b) In the commission of the murder, the defendant purposely or knowingly created a grave risk of death to another person in addition to the victim;
(c) The murder was outrageously or wantonly vile, horrible or inhuman in that it involved torture, depravity of mind, or an aggravated assault to the victim (I think the one where you ran over TevashSzat twice before shooting him twice at point-blank range with a shotgun qualifies here);
(d) The defendant committed the murder as consideration for the receipt, or in expectation of the receipt of anything of pecuniary, again defined by dictionary.com as an adjective; 'of or pertaining to money'; value;
(e) The defendant procured-"
"TOO... MUCH... LAW!!!"
"Er, procured... the commission..."
But Beirut's continued droning had become inaudible over TinCow's screaming. Having studied and practiced law all of his adult life, he had finally snapped, declaring "enough" when having a point-black definition of his alleged crime directed at him. Shaking and sweating all over, his hands had moved up to his head, where, after seemingly little effort, TinCow ripped his own ears out in order to make it stop. His head quickly turning into a multiple-spouted red fountain, he reached over to Beirut, wrenched the gun out of his holster, and blasted it at the general direction of himself, not really bothering to aim it. He pulled the trigger again and again, just trying to make contact with something that would end the pain, and finally fell over, dead, after many shots fired.
Beirut quickly got over his shock and addressed the crowd.
"Well," he said, trying to find the right words, "Let this be a lesson to how powerfully boring law can be. Best if you don't get into it at... oh, my Lord..."
Beirut had then noticed what had happened to TinCow's errant shots. They had miraculously connected with four people's heads, and Mithrandir, Fenring, Lord Winter, and georgeman51 were all on the ground, dead, along with |Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88, who had inexplicably committed seppuku."
"Uh... I hope to God that one of them was mafia," Beirut said. But in his mind, he was thinking that he was going to have to clean this mess up, and he wouldn't even get home in time to view the late-night episode of Parking Wars.
Day 4a tally:
TinCow: 8 (FactionHeir, Sigurd Fafnesbane, CountArach, discovery1, Sasaki Kojiro, shlin28, Kommodus, Joe Monks)
FactionHeir: 5 (Gaius Scribonius Curio, Sarathos, makaikhaan, Quintus.J.Cicero, TinCow)
Abstained: 1 (KukriKhan)
Sasaki Kojiro: 1 (Seamus Fermanagh) (invalid) (now on double-secret probation)
Didn't vote: Everyone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still alive: (21)
Ichigo
RoadKill
TinCow
shlin28
makaikhaan
Sasaki Kojiro
Sigurd Fafnesbane
Caius
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Sarathos
Beefy187
Tiberius of the Drake
KukriKhan
CountArach
Kommodus
Rythmic
Seamus Fermanagh
Quintus.J.Cicero
Kagemusha
discovery1
FactionHeir
Joe Monks
Suicide/Wrath of God:
|Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88
Mithrandir
Fenring
Lord Winter
georgeman51
Killed:
Tratorix
Omanes Alexandrapolites
Andres
Craterus
LittleGrizzly
TevashSzat
Crazed Rabbit
woad&fangs
Executed:
Privateerkev
Elite Ferret
peverpink
TinCow
PMs please.
Originally Posted by TosaInu
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