Results 1 to 22 of 22

Thread: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

  1. #1
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin Death Trip
    Posts
    15,754

    Post Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    I figured this would get a little too religious for the Frontroom, but here's a nice summation of the afterlife according to Scientology:

    Singer Isaac Hayes died on Sunday at the age of 65. Besides being a sex symbol, a soul-music legend, and a beloved voice-over artist, Hayes was also a dedicated Scientologist. According to his religious beliefs, what happens to Hayes now that he's passed away?

    His soul will be "born again into the flesh of another body," as the Scientology Press Office's FAQ puts it. The actual details of how that rebirth occurs is not fully understood by church outsiders, but some core beliefs of Scientology are that every human being is really an immortal spiritual being known as a thetan and that the "meat bodies" we inhabit are merely vessels we shed upon death. (Members of the elite church cadre known as Sea Org, for example, sign contracts that pledge a billion years of service throughout successive lives.) [...]

    In a widely reprinted 1990 Los Angeles Times article, Hubbard was quoted (apparently from a lecture given in the 1950s) describing how, after death, a thetan is carried to a "landing station" on Venus, where it is "programmed with lies," put in a capsule, and then "dumped" back on Earth, where it wanders in search of a baby to inhabit.

    Seems perfectly clear to this lemur. Hail Xenu!

  2. #2
    Swarthylicious Member Spino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York
    Posts
    2,604

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur View Post
    His soul will be "born again into the flesh of another body," as the Scientology Press Office's FAQ puts it. The actual details of how that rebirth occurs is not fully understood by church outsiders, but some core beliefs of Scientology are that every human being is really an immortal spiritual being known as a thetan and that the "meat bodies" we inhabit are merely vessels we shed upon death. (Members of the elite church cadre known as Sea Org, for example, sign contracts that pledge a billion years of service throughout successive lives.)
    A BILLION YEARS OF SERVICE?!? Geez Louise, looks like the Thetans need a players' union. Maybe one day free agency will allow them to sign with Buddha or Jesus...

    Seems perfectly clear to this lemur. Hail Xenu!
    I for one welcome our reincarnated funkadelic overlords...
    Last edited by Spino; 08-12-2008 at 21:12.
    "Why spoil the beauty of the thing with legality?" - Theodore Roosevelt

    Idealism is masturbation, but unlike real masturbation idealism actually makes one blind. - Fragony

    Though Adrian did a brilliant job of defending the great man that is Hugo Chavez, I decided to post this anyway.. - JAG (who else?)

  3. #3
    Formerly: SwedishFish Member KarlXII's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    San Diego, California, United States. Malmö/Gothenburg, Sweden. Cities of my ancestors and my favorite places to go!
    Posts
    1,496

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    So does Scientology believe in karma when it comes to reincarnation?
    HOW ABOUT 'DEM VIKINGS
    -Martok

  4. #4
    Upstanding Member rvg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    America
    Posts
    3,818

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    I find it truly shocking that seemingly intelligent people fall for this drivel.
    "And if the people raise a great howl against my barbarity and cruelty, I will answer that war is war and not popularity seeking. If they want peace, they and their relatives must stop the war." - William Tecumseh Sherman

    “The market, like the Lord, helps those who help themselves. But unlike the Lord, the market does not forgive those who know not what they do.” - Warren Buffett

  5. #5
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Moral High Grounds
    Posts
    9,286

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    When Sea Org members die, do they get charged over and over again to join the church and advance through the OT levels? Or is there a secret hand-stamp saying that they have already paid up?



    Edit-> Almost forgot, Hail Xenu!
    Last edited by drone; 08-12-2008 at 21:42. Reason: Hail Zenu!
    The .Org's MTW Reference Guide Wiki - now taking comments, corrections, suggestions, and submissions

    If I werent playing games Id be killing small animals at a higher rate than I am now - SFTS
    Si je n'étais pas jouer à des jeux que je serais mort de petits animaux à un taux plus élevé que je suis maintenant - Louis VI The Fat

    "Why do you hate the extremely limited Spartan version of freedom?" - Lemur

  6. #6
    RIP Tosa, my trolling end now Senior Member Devastatin Dave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    7,552

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Hail Xenu...

    His soul is currently battling a brigade of Morman elite guard at the gates a Kolab in the inner galactic circle.
    RIP Tosa

  7. #7
    Part-Time Polemic Senior Member ICantSpellDawg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    7,237

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    If I had to bet money on it I'd say; probably burning in hell.
    Last edited by ICantSpellDawg; 08-12-2008 at 23:10.
    "That rifle hanging on the wall of the working-class flat or labourer's cottage is the symbol of democracy. It is our job to see that it stays there."
    -Eric "George Orwell" Blair

    "If the policy of the government, upon vital questions affecting the whole people, is to be irrevocably fixed by decisions of the Supreme Court...the people will have ceased to be their own rulers, having to that extent practically resigned the government into the hands of that eminent tribunal."
    (Lincoln's First Inaugural Address, 1861).
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

  8. #8
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Western New Yuck
    Posts
    7,914

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?
    It's in a vat slathered in Hot Butter. May he rest in peace.
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

  9. #9
    This comment is witty! Senior Member LittleGrizzly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    The wilderness...
    Posts
    9,215

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    In your imagination with the tooth fairy and santa claus...

    Hail Xenu!
    In remembrance of our great Admin Tosa Inu, A tireless worker with the patience of a saint. As long as I live I will not forget you. Thank you for everything!

  10. #10
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin Death Trip
    Posts
    15,754

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    El-Ron personally explains Xenu. Listen to the tape before the Church sues it out of existence.

  11. #11
    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    in ur city killin ur militias
    Posts
    2,934

    Thumbs up Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Devastatin Dave View Post
    Hail Xenu...

    His soul is currently battling a brigade of Morman elite guard at the gates a Kolab in the inner galactic circle.

    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
    that which is his due."
    - Justinian I

  12. #12
    Dragonslayer Emeritus Senior Member Sigurd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Norge
    Posts
    6,877

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Devastatin Dave View Post
    Hail Xenu...

    His soul is currently battling a brigade of Morman elite guard at the gates a Kolab in the inner galactic circle.
    Yeah ... funny Dave.
    Still, it doesn't top the 'pull my finger' joke you did a while back.

    Nah Hayes, rides on the back of a horse warming the funbags of a beautiful woman, heading for Asgard.
    Status Emeritus

  13. #13
    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    12,014

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd Fafnesbane View Post
    Nah Hayes, rides on the back of a horse warming the funbags of a beautiful woman, heading for Asgard.
    Bah. He's slowly turning to dust, and that's it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rvg View Post
    I find it truly shocking that seemingly intelligent people fall for this drivel.
    Remove the element of faith from ANY religion and they're all reduced to "drivel".
    Last edited by HoreTore; 08-15-2008 at 13:14.
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

  14. #14
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Hordaland, Norway
    Posts
    6,449

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by HoreTore View Post
    Bah. He's slowly turning to dust, and that's it.



    Remove the element of faith from ANY religion and they're all reduced to "drivel".
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  15. #15
    Dragonslayer Emeritus Senior Member Sigurd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Norge
    Posts
    6,877

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Oh, ye Norse of little faith
    Status Emeritus

  16. #16
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Hordaland, Norway
    Posts
    6,449

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sigurd Fafnesbane View Post
    Oh, ye Norse of little faith
    Hehe, with his lack of faith one would assume that the jotuns and the trolls are tearing him apart right now; well outside Asgard.
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  17. #17
    Speaker of Truth Senior Member Moros's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    13,469

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    His soul?

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    It's right here in my playlist!



    While I don't think is soul lives on in Venus, Hell, ... If there is something of his soul living it is in fact in his music.

    Long live Xena, err Xenu!

  18. #18

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Ummmm, Sea org. Now how can you take a religion seriously with that kind of name... and if everything else (thetans and spaceships and bla bla bla) seems sience fiction why venus, I mean I would go for a planet from the crab nebula or something... sheesh.

    Hail not Xenu but Issac Hayes, for being pretty chill in his music
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  19. #19
    Speaker of Truth Senior Member Moros's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    13,469

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Veho Nex View Post
    Ummmm, Sea org. Now how can you take a religion seriously with that kind of name... and if everything else (thetans and spaceships and bla bla bla) seems sience fiction why venus, I mean I would go for a planet from the crab nebula or something... sheesh.

    Hail not Xenu but Issac Hayes, for being pretty chill in his music
    We should make our own religion called the Sea .org. We should worship camels, headsoup, and protect the holy words 'Ni', 'Peng', 'Neewom' and of course 'Gah'.

    Hail the camels!


    (and beer?)
    Last edited by Moros; 08-15-2008 at 20:06.

  20. #20
    The very model of a modern Moderator Xiahou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    in the cloud.
    Posts
    9,007

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur View Post
    El-Ron personally explains Xenu. Listen to the tape before the Church sues it out of existence.
    Wow, that's pretty much unintelligible...
    "Don't believe everything you read online."
    -Abraham Lincoln

  21. #21
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Helsinki,Finland
    Posts
    9,596

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    I think his soul will live on in his music.Rest in peace.
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  22. #22
    Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die Member Axeknight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Isle of Man
    Posts
    816

    Default Re: Where is Issac Hayes' Soul?

    Whatever his beliefs, I hope it's somewhere nice. The man's wonderful contribution to music means he deserves it.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO