These "grey areas" as far as who the aggressor is needs to be something the other AI factions also take into consideration.
Depending upon all of the factors in the current campaign (alliances, former wars, current wars, ...everything) coalitions should be formed based off of how they view the events unfolding and how they want to get involved.
Economic sanctions, Naval attacks/blockades, sending soldiers off to be commanded by an ally faction in their own war, full blown military involvement etc- should all be options that any faction can contemplate regarding how involved they get.
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