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Thread: Pizzaguy's Corner

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    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Pizzaguy's Corner

    Pizzaguy's Corner


    Welcome all to Pizzaguy's corner, I am your host, Askthepizzaguy. You may recognize me from the gameroom, the citadel, the backroom, or any number of other suspected hangouts. This is my lair, my dark fortress from which I unleash my deadly art. Or at least it has been since about 8PM today. It's a work in progress, so don't be asking all kinds of silly questions like "hey, what happened to all the content?" Say, what happened to all the content? Not to worry, content is coming, which should make each of you content. Hahahaha I made a pun. If you think that's bad, just wait until I get warmed up, my cheese is still frozen and my pepperoni is as hard as a yule log, which is less dirty than it sounds. Now that the preliminary introduction is over, allow me to give you a sample of what this soon-to-be botched experiment is all about:

    Begin Loading Content.......

    ......

    Buffering... Shading...Generating New Command Interface... Receiving Dial Tone From Borg Collective... Putting Clothes in The Dryer....Reticulating Splines....Loading THX screen... Generating Loud Annoying Noise.... Rolling Credits.... Taking Coffee Break... Using Straw to Pick Teeth.

    Progress: 0.0000000000000000000000000001% Complete.


    Estimated Time to Completion: 37.1 Galactic Rotations.

    Please take a number and have a seat.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    ____________________________________

    Content Module 001: It's Christmas In PizzaTown!


    And all the little mini-pizzas are enjoying the extra frost as it gently drifts down upon the snow bank at the back of the freezer. Local time is 8:20 PM, and the Stardate is 58248.3 over 31 nanobleeps. I had Eggnog today, Ham, and many other delightful treats.

    The Family Guy Mafia is coming to a close, and my impending victory is sending cheers throughout Whoville, even though in all likelihood Town is about to lose. Stay tuned for my second humiliating defeat as the unelected, unofficial, and unhappy leader of another defeated townie group. That's two for two!

    I'm dead in the Fillet Royale, and that didn't take bloody long. I politely decided to excuse myself from talking too much in that game, since I wasn't paying attention anyway. A bit disappointing, since I could protect people.

    I'm engaged in another sloooowwww mafia down at TWC, and to be honest I'm a bit disappointed by the lack of activity. I expect to be picked off soon because I'm one of the few people still talking.

    The Full Monty is concluded with a smash, my favorite hosted game to-date. The Golden Rule Mafia I am hosting is plodding along, and is in danger of ending early. However, I consider it a successful experiment, and I cannot wait to share the results with you.

    Upcoming projects:

    Ship of the Damned: The Voyager
    15 players, roleplaying game, mafia-esque but different in nature.
    Follows Star Trek: Voyager (television series) Captain Janeway and her crew on a mission with deadly consequences. In development, nearing completion.

    Clueless: Murder at Boddy Mansion
    12 players, roleplaying game, mafia-esque but with elements from the Clue board game. In development, nearing completion.

    Valentines' Day Massacre: The Chainsaw Gang

    Mini-mafia?
    Unknown number of players. A classic mafia game, few roles, and lots of bloody writeups. For those lovers of old fashioned town versus mafia, and loads of chainsaw-inspired gory bloodshed.


    ________________________________________________


    Current Campaign: Medieval II Total War, Stainless Steel 6.1, The Northern Terror Campaign. (Norway)

    Turn 28-ish.

    Captured Scandinavia and Lithuania on crusade, made alliances with half the map, returned generals home to govern and prosper... growing for the coming onslaught against Brittania, France, and the Holy Roman Empire.

    I am loving the ability to control two armies or more on the field, and I love Norse archers combined with catapults and trebuchets, and lots and lots of Viking axemen parading around the map conquering fortified settlements. Seige battles have become so routine and predictable that I am just enjoying the flaming arrows and rocks making people go boom and splat everywhere.

    __________________________________________________


    Current Chess Games:

    Askthepizzaguy Versus Caius

    An unusual sort of reversed Queens Gambit game. I am the Black pieces, and both sides have captured one pawn as of the end of turn 4. I have a full pawn center and a bishop developed in exchange for two knights developed for White.

    White chose to develop his knight to the rim, which is usually not recommended in the opening. Afterward, another knight move gave Black a captured knight and a queen, for a queen. Black should continue with safe captures and trades to simplify to a favorable ending.

    Post-game:


    Black either attacked or captured for 13 consecutive moves at the end of the game, in a dazzling combo that left white down two rooks, a knight, and three pawns, with mate in three.

    Askthepizzaguy Versus Andres

    A Sicilian Defense leading to a structure similar to a Stonewall structure, with Black holding a slight advantage (two knights in a closed game with a Stonewall structure) with possibilities for opening the Queenside against white, and messing up White's Kingside Pawn structure after a possible discovery against the White Queen.

    However, this is mostly speculative, as White may respond differently than expected by turn 20.

    Askthepizzaguy Versus Kamikhaan

    An unusual opening, 1. d3 leads to an interesting pawn thrust by Black.

    Black has a pawn structure not friendly to his dark square bishop. However, he has the advantage of two bishops, and White's sole bishop is locked behind same-square pawns. White's development and maneuverability are weakened by turn 6.

    Askthepizzaguy versus glyphz

    A rare game with white castling long (Queenside) behind pushed pawns. This is typically dangerous for white to do, as his king could become exposed after a series of exchanges. By turn 9, Black is ahead in space and development, and has not committed his King to a side of the board. There is no clear advantage to either side by turn 9.

    Askthepizzaguy versus Prince StephenAssen

    Your typical Queen's Gambit gets countered by another gambit from Black, this time the king pawn. I am anxious to grab the gambitted pawn, as if Black accepts my Queen's Bishop Pawn in gambit, we trade queens, and Stephen is dangerous with a Queen. I want to neutralize his attacking force and prevent castling. It's only turn 4.

    _____________________________________________


    Ship of the Damned: The Voyager Mafia

    Captain Janeway and her crew are trapped in the Delta Quadrant, and the ship must pass through a dangerous region of space to get home. Strange things start happening on board... systems are malfunctioning, controls aren't responding.

    The Captain and her crew must solve the mystery of what is happening before it is too late... and the Voyager is destroyed.

    The vessel has 15 decks, and a vast array of ship systems.

    Deck 1

    * Bridge- Helm Control Station, Weapon Control Station, Sensor Control Station.
    Requires Main Power, Computer Control.
    * Captain's Ready room
    * Conference lounge

    Deck 2

    * Mess hall-

    Deck 3

    * Comm Systems- Comm System Control Station
    * Captain's quarters
    * Weapons Locker- Hand Phasers (3)
    * Crew quarters

    Deck 4

    * Cargo Bay 1- ENV suit (4)
    * Transporter rooms- STS transporter (1), Transporter Control Station.
    Requires Main power.
    * Crew quarters

    Deck 5

    * Sickbay- Hypo Spray (5), Medical tricorder (4), Sickbay Holo-emitters
    * Holodeck 3- Holo-emitters. Requires Main Power.
    * Medical Lab

    Deck 6

    * Holodeck 2- Holodeck control station, Holo-emitters. Requires Main Power.
    * Turbolift Control- Turbolift Control Station. Requires Main Power.
    * Crew quarters

    Deck 7

    * Security- Hand Phasers (1)- Shipwide force field generator
    * Brig- Prisoner storage
    * Crew quarters

    Deck 8

    * Science laboratory- Polaron scanners (inoperative)
    * Astrometrics- Internal, External, Long-range sensors. Requires Main Power.
    * Crew quarters

    Deck 9

    * Impulse Engines- Impulse drive system and secondary Main power generator.
    * Shield Generator- Defensive shield generator. Requires Main Power.
    * Crew quarters

    Deck 10

    * Shuttle Bay 1- ENV suit (4), Delta Flyer (1), Escape Pods (15)
    * Torpedo Launcher. Requires Main Power, Computer Control. Requires Torpedoes. (30)
    Probes (2)

    Deck 11

    * Section 20, Main Engineering. Warp Core generator, self-destruct. Repair Kit (10)
    Generates Primary Main Power. Requires Computer Control.

    Deck 12

    * Life support systems. Uses seperate, internal fusion reactor to power itself. Power from this system can be diverted to other systems in an emergency. Every deck has it's own life support which can be enabled or disabled, but all are dependent on the main generator.

    Deck 13

    * Phaser Banks. Requires Main power. Requires Computer Control.
    * Main Computer. Uses internal power source which cannot be diverted. Enables or Disables Computer Control.

    Deck 14

    * Deflector Control. Requires Main power to use Main Nav Deflector.
    * Phaser Locker- (3)
    * Landing Gear

    Deck 15

    * Nacell Tubes. Part of Warp Drive.
    * Tractor Emitters. Requires Main power.
    * Plasma relay room. Part of Primary Power system.
    * Landing Gear
    Voyager's systems:

    All Decks are equipped with a turbolift that can carry people from one deck to another instantly.

    All Decks are outfitted with Jeffreys Tubes so that maintenence can be carried out, and transport between decks is possible when the turbolifts are down. The Jeffreys Tubes take a while to crawl through, so you cannot move more than one deck per turn inside the Tubes.

    All Decks are equipped with Life Support systems. Each Deck's Life Support can be damaged and must be repaired individually, or the entire grid can be knocked out and then they all can be repaired simultaneously.

    Many systems are regulated by the Main computer. Computer control can be locked out for certain decks, for certain ship's systems, or for the entire ship. You can manually override the main computer at it's location, or enter in the proper command overrides from any computer station, unless the main computer is damaged, then it must be repaired at it's location.

    The ship is equipped with Defense shields, and the emitters are on Deck Three. If the shields become damaged, Voyager will be defenseless from spaceborne attack.

    The ship is equipped with Phaser banks, and they are located on the fore and aft of Deck seven. The ship requires Phasers or Photon Torpedoes in order to engage in combat with an enemy ship. Phasers are ineffective without external sensors.

    The ship is equipped with Photon Torpedoes. The torpedo tubes are located on Deck Eleven. The ship requires weapon systems in order to engage in combat with an enemy ship. Torpedoes are ineffective without external sensors.

    The ship is equipped with Transporters, which allow someone to perform a site-to-site transport from one area of the ship to the other, if the main computer is active and the system isn't locked out. The transporters can be accessed remotely from Main Engineering, the Bridge, or on location at the Transporter Room on Deck Seven.

    The ship is equipped with internal, external, and long-range sensors, all located on Deck Four: Astrometrics. Each sensor system can be locked out or damaged individually, or the entire system can be disabled or damaged.

    The Holosystems on the ship are controlled by the Deck Five holodeck. On Deck Five, holographic characters and environments can be created, and in Sickbay, other holograms such as the Doctor can exist. The Doctor's mobile emitter can be damaged at his location and must be repaired before he can exist anywhere besides Deck Five and Sickbay.

    The Ship is equipped with a security grid, which allows Security to know the location of everyone on board, assuming internal sensors are operating. The Security grid also allows officers to create defensive force fields to contain hostile aliens or intruders, or protect vital systems with a force field. The force field can be disabled at it's location by skilled officers, or the security grid can be knocked out. The Security grid also powers the Brig security field, so if the grid is down, no one can be contained inside the Brig as a prisoner or stopped with force fields.

    The Ship is equipped with a main navigational deflector, which allows near-light and faster-than-light travel to be possible. With the deflector dish inoperative, the ship is reduced to using maneuvering thrusters.

    The ship has Airlocks which allow the shuttle bays and cargo bays to be accessed from the outside of the ship. Every deck is also equipped with an Airlock, and if the hatch is blown, life support becomes inoperative and that deck is exposed to space. Life support can be restored with an integrity field, which is part of the security grid. If the security grid fails, then any deck with a blown airlock is rendered uninhabitable for most of the crew. Decks without life support can be accessed by anyone wearing an environmental suit, which is located in the cargo bays and shuttle bays. Airlocks cannot be disabled.

    The ship is equipped with a warp core, located in main engineering. This warp core allows faster-than-light travel and powers the entire ship, though there are backup power systems. The ship is equipped with warp nacells, which allow faster than light travel. These are the warp engines themselves. They are located on Deck Thirteen, nacell tubes.

    The ship is equipped with impulse reactor and engines, which is the backup power system and sub-light speed drive system. This is located on Deck Seven.

    The ship is equipped with a communications system which allows the comm badges to work. Ship's status reports require either a fully functioning comm system or functioning internal sensors. Status reports from the comm system can only be given by individuals who are awake and on the deck in question. Internal sensors can give a status report much quicker and more accurately.

    The ship is equipped with a multi-phasic tractor beam emitter. This emitter allows Voyager to lock onto enemy ships whose shields are down, or too weak to overpower the tractor beam. Voyager can also lock on to any object in space which is not larger than Voyager itself.

    The ship is equipped with a self-destruct mechanism which causes the Warp Core to overload. This is located in Main Engineering and can only be accessed by Captain Janeway, or Chakotay and Tuvok combined.

    Starship Voyager Systems

    Helm Navigational Controls-
    Weapon Systems-
    Sensor Systems-
    -----Internal-
    -----External-
    -----Astrometrics (Long Range)-
    Comm Systems-
    Transporter Systems-
    Airlocks (each deck)-
    Sickbay Systems-
    Holodeck Systems-
    Turbolifts-
    Security Systems-
    -----Shipwide Structural Integrity Fields-
    -----(each deck)-
    -----Shipwide Force Fields-
    -----(each deck)-
    -----Brig Power-
    Impulse Systems-
    -----Secondary Power System-
    -----Impulse Drive-
    Shield Generator-
    Torpedo Launcher-
    Main Engineering-
    -----Warp Core, Primary Power-
    -----Self-Destruct System-
    Life Support Systems-
    -----Generator-
    -----(each deck)-
    Phaser Banks-
    Main Computer Core-
    -----Helm Control-
    -----Weapon Control-
    -----Sensor Control-
    -----Transporter Lockout-
    -----Holodeck Overrides-
    -----Turbolift Lockout-
    -----Astrometrics-
    -----Impulse Drive Lockout-
    -----Life Support Override-
    -----Deflector Lockout-
    -----Tractor Override-
    -----Security Field Overrides- (Requires Command Code: Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok)
    -----Shield Override- (Requires Command Code: Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok)
    -----Self-Destruct Override- (Requires Command Code: Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok)
    Main Navigational Deflector-
    Warp Nacells-
    Tractor Beam-
    Plasma Relays-

    Hull Integrity-
    Shield Integrity-
    Field Integrity-
    Core Integrity-

    Doctor's Mobile Emitter-
    STS Transporter-
    Delta Flyer-
    -----Engines-
    -----Weapons-
    -----Shields-
    -----Life Support-
    -----Escape Transporter-
    -----Computer-
    Captain Katheryn Janeway (Captain)
    Commander Chakotay (Commander)
    Lieutenant Commander Tuvok (Chief Tactical Officer)
    Lieutenant B'elanna Torres (Chief Engineer)
    Lieutenant Tom Paris (Helmsman, Medic)
    Lt. Carey (Assistant Chief Engineer)
    Lt. Ayala (Operations Officer)
    Lt. Andrews (Security Officer)
    Lt. Nicoletti (Engineering Officer)
    En. Kim (Chief Operations Officer)
    En. Wildman (Science Officer)
    En. Vorik (Engineering Officer)
    Neelix (Ambassador, Cook)
    Seven of Nine (Chief Astrometrics Officer)
    Emergency Medical Holographic Program (Doctor)

    And so forth. Good preview, eh?

    ___________________________________________________


    You may post a comment here, but here are some ground rules:

    1. You must follow forum guidelines and moderator's instructions, as usual.
    2. If I request you stop posting here, please discontinue. Like on my userpage or profile, I have some discretion.
    3. If I request you remove a post, please do so. Again, I'd like some control over the content.
    4. This thread is my "space" where I will post all kinds of things, chess strategies, Medieval AAR previews, upcoming mafia games, post thoughts and shoot the breeze, at the moderator's discretion. I will keep the material relevant to the .Org and age-appropriate. Comments, questions, suggestions welcome.

    If I have to express myself and my copious and never-ending opinions, I will come here or join/start a backroom discussion. Don't take the above groundrules as an unwelcome sign. Please do come in and have a chat. I will update as frequently as you can handle it.
    Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 06-25-2009 at 05:00.
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

  2. #2
    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    You may be surprised Pizza guy but I never ever seen Star Trek..

    If im not there for your mafia, that would be why...

    Lovely idea though


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

  3. #3
    Ice stink there for a ham. Member Mystery Science Torture 3000 Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Super Hacky Sack Champion, Pencak Champion, Sperm Wars Champion, Monkey Diving Champion Yoyoma1910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Merry Christmas Pizza to you, Pizza Guy.

    My kingdom for a .

  4. #4

    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    I do not belong here.

  5. #5
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    *sighs*

    Folks, please do not follow that chess game between me and Pizza. I highly doubt it will end in anything but slaughter(For some reason, I am NOT good at Chess )
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Not even remotely
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  6. #6
    Mercury Member Thermal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Terrible chess player myself as well, you could add advertisements for stuff like other peoples upcoming mafias to the bottom of your thread to i'll look regularly, i'm interested to see how the golden rule mafia rolls too
    Last edited by Thermal; 12-27-2008 at 02:59.

  7. #7
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Ares, good to see your spartan helmet is back!
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

  8. #8
    Mercury Member Thermal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Quote Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy View Post
    Ares, good to see your spartan helmet is back!
    Bah! i was forced to choose between death or becoming one of Alaskanders commanders, i decided to betray my legacy and serve for you

  9. #9
    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Viking for life


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Interesting Mafia games you have planned. Looking forward to them.
    #Hillary4prism

    BD:TW

    Some piously affirm: "The truth is such and such. I know! I see!"
    And hold that everything depends upon having the “right” religion.
    But when one really knows, one has no need of religion. - Mahavyuha Sutra

    Freedom necessarily involves risk. - Alan Watts

  11. #11
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Thank you very much, sir!

    I have high hopes for the clue game, but man it's getting complicated to write. The actual gameplay should be fairly simple, but I need to do a story and make everyone seem like they have a motive. That gets complex.

    As for the Voyager game, I have a feeling it's going to be highly experimental, and I'm just going to have to see what happens and see how people react to it.
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

  12. #12
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    One thin crust philly cheese steak with extra onions and tabasco please

  13. #13
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Content Module 002: Farewell 2008

    Loading content.... please remove nostrils and stand by.

    Warning: spandex failure. Attempting to correct.... insufficient banana pudding.

    Self-destruct in 3 nanoseconds.


    _______________________________________________

    Chess and stuff: A look at how I move my pieces
    and other ramblings.

    Askthepizzaguy Versus Prince_StephenAssen 12/9/2008

    [Event "Online Chess"]
    [Site "Chess.com"]
    [Date "2008.12.09"]
    [Round "1"]
    [White "Prince_StephenAssen"]
    [Black "askthepizzaguy"]
    [Result "0-1"]
    [WhiteElo "1655"]
    [BlackElo "1807"]
    [TimeControl "1 in 14 days"]

    1. e4 c5 2. Nc3 Nc6 3. Bc4 Nf6 4. d3 e6 5. Bg5 h6 6. Bxf6 Qxf6 7. Qf3 Be7 8. Nge2 Qxf3 9. gxf3 a6 10. Rg1 O-O 11. f4 b5 12. Bb3 d6 13. O-O-O Bb7 14. f5 Na5 15. fxe6 Nxb3+ 16. axb3 fxe6 17. f4 d5 18. e5 Rac8 19. Rg6 Kf7 20. Rdg1 Rg8 21. d4 Bg5 22. R6xg5 hxg5 23. Rxg5 b4 24. Nd1 Rh8 25. Rg2 c4 26. bxc4 dxc4 27. Rf2 g6 28. Kd2 Rh3 29. Ng1 Rh5 30. Ne3 c3+ 31. bxc3 bxc3+ 32. Kd3 a5 33. Nd1 Ba6+ 34. Ke4 a4 35. Ne2 Rh3 36. d5 exd5+ 37. Kd4 Bxe2 38. Rxe2 a3 39. Ne3 a2 40. Re1 Rxh2
    41. Kxd5 Ra8 42. Ra1 Rd2+ 43. Ke4 Ra4+ 44. Kf3 Ke6 45. Kg3 Re2 46. Kf3 Rh2 47. Kg3 Rh7 48. Kf2 0-1
    1. e4 c5
    2. Nc3 Nc6

    White's plan is to control the light squares. Black's plan is to counterattack on the dark squares.

    3. Bc4 Nf6

    A bit premature for the white Bishop to be developed here. This is a square it can be harassed on, which wastes time in the opening. In a moment I will show you.

    4. d3 e6

    White locks his own Bishop outside his closed pawn structure, but severely limits it's movement and has nowhere to retreat. Black immediately begins closing off its movement. The bishop can only intrude one square further into black's side of the board without losing material immediately, and exerts little influence on the diagonal it occupies, a2-g8.

    5. Bg5 h6

    White develops his good bishop, but is batted away. Better might be Nf3, preparing the short castling maneuver. Instead, this move wastes time. The pawn on h6 is sound, as black no longer anticipates kingside intrusion on the light squares due to white's bad bishop.

    6. Bxf6 Qxf6

    The correct recapture. Instead of destroying black's pawn structure and weakening any possible short castle position, black correctly recaptures while developing the queen, immediately exerting pressure against the weak f2 square and pawn.

    7. Qf3 Be7

    White wants to trade queens, but that would allow him to recapture with the knight, developing a piece, and destroying black's finest attacker, which would limit my aggressive options. I decide to force him to waste time trading queens, as it would further develop a problem bishop for black to the more active f6 square, and further reinforcing my kingside pawns, without developing the knight for white on that turn.

    8. Nge2 Qxf3

    Nge2 is very bad for white. The knight is weak on e2, and it is passive. Notice how the movement of the white knights overlap onto one another, each taking away a potential flight square from the other. White is assisting black in blocking in his own pieces, and in a single move weakens not only both his knights but also his queen, which was only defended further by the g-pawn, which must recapture and devastate white's kingside pawns.


    9. gxf3 a6

    The forced recapture for white eliminates a possible square for the knight to reposition to, gives him doubled pawns, and opens a hole in his kingside. White is not without counterplay, but the situation is getting prickly. Pawn a6 further traps white's problem bishop and gives the piece only one viable legal move, which is the shameful retreat Bb3.

    10. Rg1 O-O

    In this position, white is correct to activate his rook to the half-open file. However, black is safe to castle right into the firing range of the rook, because the white pieces are not coordinated for attack.

    11. f4 b5

    White pushes his weak doubled pawn, hoping to trade it. A wise choice. But the reply b5 forces the issue against white's bishop.

    12. Bb3 d6

    At b3, the Bishop has no scope, and nowhere to hide. It is terrified of further pawn advances. Black continues with the quiet d6, which gives his light square bishop a little breathing room and more importantly grabs space in front of his pawns, and reinforcing the "staircase" structure.

    13. O-O-O Bb7

    White connects his rooks and encases his King safely on the Queenside, away from central danger and the kingside weaknesses. Black's reply exerts influence over the center and indirectly targets all the way down the weak a8-h1 diagonal, potentially hitting the battered kingside later.

    14. f5 Na5

    With f5 White attempts to break free from his doubled pawn weaknesses and mess up Black's structure, a solid idea. Black corners the trapped Bishop and forces the issue.

    15. fxe6 Nxb3+

    Black is happy to see his closed structure open up, but instead of allowing the white bishop to finally break free, black captures it with check, delaying the recapture on e6, and removing the pawn's defender.

    16. axb3 fxe6

    White has doubled pawns again, but more importantly black has blasted a hole into the white camp with his rook. The pawns on h2 and f2 will have trouble from now on. Black's pawn structure is solid.

    Notice how white's knights cannot maneuver anywhere effectively? They either waste time repositioning themselves, or continue to be ineffective. I am happy with either choice.

    17. f4 d5

    White continues to attempt to convert kingside pawn weaknesses into relieving trades. In this case, I welcome a trade to give my pieces some room.

    18. e5 Rac8

    White avoids the trade and creates more permanent weaknesses in his pawn structure. The pawn on f4 is now backward and ineffective, and requires a babysitter to protect it from the rook. It takes another square away from white's knight. The knight on c3 is hopelessly passive. Black begins to prepare his mortars for blasting into white's fortress.

    19. Rg6 Kf7

    The hasty rook advance is easily deflected. The king is a strong piece; when it is safe you should use him.

    20. Rdg1 Rg8

    The white rook should have retreated, hat in hand, graciously, but instead he doubles down on a pair of tens. In blackjack terms, that's as good as suicide. Black misses the next move, but makes a sound one instead. Reinforcing the pawn is the knee-jerk reaction, after all. But a passive rook defending a pawn? It's a bad idea. More active counterplay is called for. The white rook cannot move anywhere safely but backward, so how about preventing it's retreat and removing the defender at the same time?

    21. d4 Bg5

    This highly irregular move sends White streaking back down to earth. The advanced rook has no defender, and either way he captures the bishop, he still loses the exchange by a pawn capture or a king capture.

    22. R6xg5 hxg5
    23. Rxg5 b4

    With a material edge, and white's counteplay stopped, black resumes the crawling assault.

    24. Nd1 Rh8

    The knight retreat to d1 is a sad concession, because the knight has no attacking potential on one of the weakest knight squares on the board. In this position, it's one of the few sane choices. Any other move would have encased it behind a wall of pawns on the corner of the board, making it a ghost with no real influence on the game. That's as good as being down a knight.

    Black responds by attacking the isolated h pawn, and moving his rook into activity.

    25. Rg2 c4

    When your rook is babysitting a weak and useless pawn on the edge of the board far from your own king, and it's movement becomes limited because of this pressure, it's almost like being down a rook, too. Now white has a rook that will not come crashing through black's roof like a bomb, which reduces it to the role of a passive defender. It might as well be a trapped bishop or a backward pawn, because it has just as much value so long as it has to guard the h-pawn.

    The value of your pieces changes depending on where they are placed. Here, the rook is no threat and just another brick in white's weakening wall. Black responds by sending in the battering ram against the queenside fortress.

    26. bxc4 dxc4

    Now white will have difficulty containing black's advance. He has spearmen at the ready to cover the breach, but they will not protect their king for long.

    27. Rf2 g6

    The rook has even less scope here, but at least he might be able to shove that backward pawn down my throat. Black responds by saying "just try it".

    28. Kd2 Rh3

    White's monarch must be feeling the pressure, because he advances forward to assist the spearmen at the collapsing gatehouse. He will not go down without a fight. A brave decision, not one a coward would make. Black cannot play c3+, because it does nothing for him but lose valuable attacking pawns.

    Black tosses a little more oil onto the flaming battering ram, hoping to burn the defenders away from the walls. The rook invasion is painful.

    29. Ng1 Rh5

    White is desperate to get rid of the vicious-looking rook, and this retreat forces one from black. Some temporary damage is done; a defender is removed to a passive square, at best allowing white to return to the previous position after black tries another tactic, at worst leaving his knight on a lousy square.

    30. Ne3 c3+

    The knight tries to hold the position, but nothing can stop black's advance.

    31. bxc3 bxc3+
    32. Kd3 a5

    The King charges to the walls himself, and unsheaths his sword. Time to get down to bloody business.
    Black threatens to quietly pop out a new queen, leaving white to scramble in a hasty defense.

    33. Nd1 Ba6+

    The knight retreat is necessary to stop the queen, but the King is forced to take a vacation away from the evil a-pawn.

    34. Ke4 a4
    35. Ne2 Rh3

    Threatening to get a new defender against the queening threat, and attacking a pawn. The rook moves up to cramp white's style and defend all at the same time. This is active defense.

    36. d5 exd5+

    White refuses to be trapped in a straitjacket. But black has a vicious reply, and the move turns out to be bad.

    37. Kd4 Bxe2

    If the king had taken the pawn, the rook would deliver check and skewer the knight on d1. A terrible way to lose a knight. White is still holding on by a thread. Time to push the car over the cliff.

    38. Rxe2 a3

    White no longer has enough defenders. The pawn will queen.

    39. Ne3 a2

    The threat must be answered immediately, forcing the rook to abandon its post.

    40. Re1 Rxh2

    A pawn falls, and another one is eyed hungrily. Black allows white to have a slice of pawn cake.

    41. Kxd5 Ra8

    The final battering ram is in place, and white must demolish a whole tower in order to cover the breach in his defenses. Sadly, he will no longer be able to fight back against the dark horde.

    42. Ra1 Rd2+

    Backed up against a wall, white defends gallantly, and black wastes some time, too sure of his victory to think properly.

    43. Ke4 Ra4+
    44. Kf3 Ke6
    45. Kg3 Re2
    46. Kf3 Rh2

    Black gained nothing from these series of moves. A new strategy is required.

    47. Kg3 Rh7

    The rook was just leaving anyway, but he will be back.

    48. Kf2 0-1 White resigns.

    White realizes the rook is on it's way to b1 care of b7 airlines. That means it's time to fall on his sword.



    _________________________

    More analysis to come. 7am now, no sleep all night. Bye byes.
    Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 12-30-2008 at 13:21.
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  14. #14
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Insufficient banana pudding?! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
    Rest in Peace TosaInu, the Org will be your legacy
    Quote Originally Posted by Leon Blum - For All Mankind
    Nothing established by violence and maintained by force, nothing that degrades humanity and is based on contempt for human personality, can endure.

  15. #15
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Content Module 003: Oh Noes! Another Content Module!
    runz

    Loading content.... experiencing explosive diarrhea. ....Content loaded. No errors reported.



    ______________________


    The Clueless Mafia: (Work in progress)

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    The game board and pieces.


    The Weapons:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    The Love Letter
    A passionate letter sealed with a kiss...



    The Letter Opener
    A sharpened metallic object similar to a knife, with blood on it...



    The Lead Pipe
    An old lead pipe that has been dented somehow...



    The Knife
    An ultra-sharp food preparatory tool that was found in the dishwasher...



    The Candlestick
    An elegant looking piece of property that is marred with a red substance on one end...



    The Pickaxe
    A dusty old pickaxe with deadly blunt force capabilities...



    The Revolver
    An antique six-shooter that looks like it has been fired recently...



    The Rope
    A rough and tightly tied rope knotted into a noose...



    The Telescope
    Bronze alloy telescope, hard and heavy enough to be used as a weapon...



    The Umbrella
    A stylish and expensive umbrella with a long handle and pointy tip...



    The Wrench
    A heavy wrench, deadly enough to smash a skull open...



    The Whoopie Cushion
    A gag item which produces an unsettling noise when sat upon...


    Suspects:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Mdme. Blanc- White (French Maid)
    Sir Reginald Black- Black (Butler)
    Professor Henry Plum- Purple (Scientist)
    Mrs. Vivian Violet- Violet (Boddy's Lover)
    Ms. Sunny Devine- Orange (Actress)
    Mr. Emeril Brown- Brown (Gourmet Chef)
    Mr. Yankee Richman III- Gold (Oil Tycoon)
    Mr. Thaddeus T. Boone Pickens- Silver (Old Prospector)
    Mr. Peabody Green- Green (Inspector)
    Ms. Paris Peacock- Blue (Wealthy Heiress)
    Colonel Patton Mustard- Yellow (Veteran)
    Mr. Tommy D'Amato- Red (Wiseguy)


    Rooms-

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Observatory
    Library
    Kitchen
    Hall
    Study
    Conservatory
    Bedroom
    Servant's Quarters
    Boiler Room
    Tennis Court
    Gift-Wrapping Room
    Dungeon

    Events between 12 PM and 11:59PM on the evening of December 31st, 2008

    (Not Official or Finalized)


    Noon- Emeril Brown begins preparing the feast for the New Years' Celebration.
    1230PM- Madam Blanc begins sorting the mail in the Study.
    100- Reginald Black begins cleaning the Dining Hall in preparation of the guests' arrival.
    130- Professor Plum calls the estate, wondering if he was invited to the party.
    200- Madam Blanc has an argument with Reginald Black in the Conservatory.
    230- Mr. Boddy tells Black to prepare for Mrs. Violet's arrival.
    300- Madam Blanc begins cleaning the Bedroom.
    330- The southwest entrance door is found mysteriously open.
    400- Black finishes wrapping the gifts for the guests in the wrapping room.
    430- Mrs. Violet arrives.
    500- Party Begins with the arrival of Yankee Richman and Thaddeus Pickens.
    530- Peabody Green arrives with young Paris Peacock. Colonel Mustard arrives.
    600- Tommy D'Amato arrives with Sunny Devine, and Professor Plum arrives.
    630- Madam Blanc has an argument with Mrs. Violet.
    700 The first course is served by master Chef Emeril Brown. Boddy criticizes the menu.
    715- Plum first mentions the Calzone project, after which Boddy changes the subject.
    730- The second course is served by Butler Black, because Emeril Brown is still fuming mad.
    745- Boddy encourages Green to try the wine, which he initially refuses.
    800- Violet further discusses the Calzone project, after being asked by Colonel Mustard.
    815- Sunny asks Paris about the business. Mr. Boddy is insulting towards Paris and Richman.
    830- The dessert is served by Chef Emeril Brown, but Boddy knocks the cake over.
    845- Tommy D'Amato excuses himself to talk to the chef. Pickens talks about Crusty Mountain.
    900- The second half of the party begins, and Boddy invites everyone into the Conservatory.
    915- Boddy discusses the Calzone project with Plum, and Plum is upset.
    930- Boddy compliments Sunny Devine on her latest work, but she seems nervous and distant.
    945- Thaddeus Pickens talks with Colonel Mustard about Boddy, Mustard mentions his dead aim.
    1000- Boddy talks with Violet, and Plum talks with Madam Blanc.
    1015- Tommy D'Amato excuses himself from the party, as does Plum in a fit of rage.
    1030- Sunny Devine adjourns to the Tennis Court to practice, as she finds the party boring.
    1045- The Chef's resignation note is found in the Kitchen by Tommy D'Amato.
    1100- Goldman discusses Peacock Poultry with Paris, and asks her where Tommy went.
    1115- Paris excuses herself from the party, as does Green, who is drunk.
    1130- Violet talks with Madam Blanc, and after another spat, she excuses herself. Pickens leaves.
    1145- Colonel Mustard and Mr Boddy are last seen on the south lawn, shooting cans.
    1150- Strange noises are heard coming from the Dungeon by Paris.
    1155- Butler Black finishes cleaning up the dining hall, and disappears.
    1156- Madam Blanc retires to the Servant's Quarters, shaken and upset.
    1157- Pickens sees Richman leaving the Dungeon. Richman says he was just checking it out.
    1158- Emeril Brown returns to the Kitchen, and is surprised to see Paris there.
    1159PM- Black is found in the Library by Sunny Devine.

    Midnight, Jan 1, 0000 hours- The late Mr. Boddy is discovered by Mr. Green.
    Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 02-07-2009 at 10:46.
    #Winstontoostrong
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  16. #16
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    I designed and drew the game board, created most of the rooms, made all the weapons using Paint, Redesigned and designed old/new characters, Wrote backstories, motives, alibis for 12 characters, and wrote the Events timeline.

    Exhausted now. Tell me what you thinks.
    Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 12-30-2008 at 18:45.
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  17. #17
    The Bad Doctor Senior Member Chaotix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Looks cool. And very nice paint drawings, too.

    Just discovered this thread now, have to say it looks very cool, ATPG. How do you like Stainless Steel, BTW? Is it a lot harder to blitz?
    Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer: The Gameroom

  18. #18
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Yes, it's harder to blitz... at the beginning, as a Catholic.

    However, I have a remedy for that. Spammed small clusters of cavalry/generals.

    You lay seige and wait for them to sally, and then you destroy what's inside. Reduced seige times, highly experienced troops, low upkeep, and a fast expanding territory. Couple that with sharp diplomacy and you can get a crusade or two under your belt, and the map falls to your power.

    It took several runs to get the sequences right, but the rapid expansion is still very, very effective, as I have now figured out how to accomplish in the VanillaMod as well.

    The rapid expansion is based on sacking, low troop upkeep (not waiting 10 turns to take one city makes troops very cost effective), massive general spawning, crusades/jihads, cavalry, and possibly spies and artillery. It works against any conditions I have met so far. So long as you have a general, you have a blitz.
    #Winstontoostrong
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  19. #19
    Ice stink there for a ham. Member Mystery Science Torture 3000 Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Super Hacky Sack Champion, Pencak Champion, Sperm Wars Champion, Monkey Diving Champion Yoyoma1910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    If I forget to tell you this in 30 posts, Happy 4,000.

    My kingdom for a .

  20. #20
    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    I had something planned smiler to your clueless mafia. But I gave up noticing the amount of effort required to draw stuff.

    Im ready to join all your games ATPG Except the Star Trek one


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

  21. #21
    Mercury Member Thermal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    your last mafia idea is like cluedo ATPG looks good

  22. #22
    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    ALL HAIL PIZZA!
    This space intentionally left blank.

  23. #23
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Thanks, Hax.

    All Hail Me! I'm the greatest!
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  24. #24
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default 4000

    PIZZAGUY'S 4000TH POST SPECTACULAR!!!

    Quote this line and you will have some idea as to the ungodly work that went into it.

    Content Module 004: The Long-Awaited Sequel to Content Module 003!


    Loading content... Motherloading content... Mother-loving content... Lode Running content... Content Loaded... Running loaded content. 127,694 errors reported.

    Ok, more about the other mafias I mentioned:

    Valentines' Day Massacre: The Chainsaw Gang


    I am still trying to come up with something special. But perhaps instead of my usual quirky games, it should be the writeups themselves which are splashed with gore, romance, and humor. Plus, a good old standard mafia game would be refreshing after all the kinky unusual things we've tried together.



    I was thinking about giving half the players chainsaws and allowing them to do their own murder writeups... sort of an everyone for him/herself horror game. But I realize that having so many murders would lead to a rather quick mafia game. The fun is in the desperation, the game hanging in the balance... having the game end quickly with a few heads rolling isn't my idea of fun. Humor, but not quite fun.

    unfortunately I have little written for it so far. But I know it should be ready for valentine's day, as a mini-mafia if necessary. Let's paint the Town red....


    The Vexing Mafia


    Ok, this is another work in progress but the idea is that everyone in the game is role-playing a character who you might be familiar with... an annoying TV personality, movie character, or video game character. I'd like to take suggestions for possible suspects, but here's what I have so far:


    Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars (Every single word he uttered)
    Barney the Purple Dinosaur (Don't even ask me to cite an example)
    Steve Urkel from Family Matters ("Got any cheese, did I do that, Laaaaaaura..." and so on.)
    Jerry Seinfeld from Seinfeld ("Peanuts on a Plane" routine ad infinitum)
    GirlsGoneWild Bimbo from late night Comedy Central ads ("Here's My Boobs!")
    Scrappy Doo from Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo ("Puppy Power! Lemme at em, I'll Splat em!")
    Snarf from Thundercats ("Snarf snarf, snarfy snarf snarf.")
    Oprah Winfrey from Oprah (EVERYBODY GETS A CAR!!! EVERYBODY GETS A CAR!!!)
    Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation (I know I'm just a kid and everyone else here is ridiculously smart and more experienced, I always have the right answers and save the ship.)
    Jerry Springer from the Jerry Springer Show ("Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other." Meanwhile, two bull lesbians and a really fat transvestite just beat each other with chairs and two marriages ended.)
    Howard Stern ("Can you take your shirt off? Can I touch them? Want to spank a midget?")
    Simon Cowell from American Idol (Being a judge is one thing. Being an a-hole is another.)
    Bill O Reilly from Fox News (All that yelling and idiocy)
    Screech from Saved by the Bell (Suggested by someone else)
    Televangelists (in general, pick one)
    Slippy Toad from StarFox ("Oh no! Fox! Help me! I can't get this guy off of me!")
    Ashley Graham from Resident Evil 4 ("Help! Help me Leon! Help! Help me Leon!" *dies stupidly*)
    Navi the Faerie from Legend of Zelda ("Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen!")


    Unfortunately, some of these will be annoying only to me. Some of you may like these characters. Maybe even tolerate them. So I'd like to bolster the list with some that you may hate, and why. But they must be roleplayable, and you have to explain why they are annoying.

    Merely disliking someone on TV isn't enough. I was going to put the Mad Money guy on here, but he's hard to roleplay, and it's hard to explain why he's annoying.

    No matter who wins the game, town or scum, we will all get the satisfaction of blowing up, disemboweling, decapitating, or otherwise destroying in a humorous way, all the vexing annoyances we find in popular entertainment. I will consider singers and musicians, too... but they have to be really annoying and roleplayable.

    I personally will enjoy making them all go boom and splat.

    The Pizza has spoken. Happy 2009 everyone!
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

  25. #25
    So close to being able to re Member boudica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Quote Originally Posted by Askthepizzaguy View Post
    I designed and drew the game board, created most of the rooms, made all the weapons using Paint, Redesigned and designed old/new characters, Wrote backstories, motives, alibis for 12 characters, and wrote the Events timeline.

    Exhausted now. Tell me what you thinks.

    :D Just count me in! - and of course I'll keep an eye out but if i don't sign up to one of your games pronto then give me a shout :)

    Follow the sorcerous carnage HERE!
    Come get your NEW RE_SIZED! Council of the Magi Teaser Sigs here!

  26. #26
    Banned ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Must be trying to increase his fame and power !



    Happy 2009 Mr.Pizza!

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    Mercury Member Thermal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Psssst*
    PIZZAGUY
    over here
    look at my signature line now

  28. #28
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Content Module 005: A very small (but still satisfying, ladies) content module

    LOADING CONTENT... ah, hell with it. Loaded. Done.


    Murder Manor Mini-Mafia

    (9 players)

    Unfortunately, 9 players is too many for a mini-mafia. Seems I have a backlog of mafia games, large and small... How am I going to get to them all???

    Askthepizzaguy- Owner of the Mansion

    Rooms:

    Kitchen
    Coat Closet
    Dining Room
    Bathroom
    Living Room
    Basement
    Bedroom
    Study
    Attic

    The Murder Manor is owned by Askthepizzaguy. He comes home and finds the door open, with signs of forced entry. Unsure of whether or not anyone is still in the house, he must search each room to try to find the intruder. Each room has a player assigned to it. The players vote during the day phase to determine which room Askthepizzaguy should search. When a room is searched, it is searched very, very thoroughly, and the entire room is a gigantic mess, and the player assigned to that room may no longer vote or participate. Askthepizzaguy is too tired to search every single room, so when it gets down to the final 3 rooms, he can only search one more and then he will have to go to bed. If one of the two remaining rooms has the intruder, he exits the room and murders Askthepizzaguy.

    The game has 7 consecutive "day" phases during a single day, followed by night time. If the intruder is not found by night time, Town loses the game.

    Kitchen- a very clean and organized place with lots of sharp objects
    Coat Closet- a neat and efficient storage room with plenty of rusty coat hangers
    Dining Room- an immaculate dining area with heavy iron candlestick holders
    Bathroom- a very sanitary bath area with a large steel wrench under the sink
    Living Room- an elegant and spotless relaxation room with a fireplace containing a metal fire poker
    Basement- a cold and dark storage area containing a gasoline powered chainsaw
    Bedroom- a warm and comfortable sleeping area containing a hidden antique revolver
    Study- a cozy and quiet place to study containing several large bookcases and a letter opener
    Attic- a spacious and finished attic containing several bundles of electrical cords


    I had designed the game as a mini-mafia, but it's not quite small enough it seems. It's just a little bit too big to fit. Gee, where have I heard that before?




    Chainsaw Gang: the Valentines Day Massacre

    15 players

    Reverend
    Choir Director
    Choir Boy
    Choir Girl
    Firefighter
    Park Ranger
    Former Cop
    Nurse
    Marine
    Teacher
    Electrician
    Plumber
    Truck Driver
    Social Worker
    Janitor

    These 15 people from a church group have all decided to go on a retreat in the Calzone Mountains around Valentine's day. There is a quaint little group of cottages, a campfire, a mountain stream, and a bunch of grisly murders. The Chainsaw gang is not just a mindless group of murderers... they have a terrifying plan for the bodies of their victims. You will have to tune in to find out what. This is not your usual Pizzaguy fare... it's less about humor and more about horror. The writeups will be disturbing and in spoilers.








    Psycho
    (Mafia)
    12 Players

    Deranged Maniac
    Kidnapper
    Serial Killer
    Lone Gunman
    Paranoid Schitzophrenic
    Pathological Liar
    Detective
    Cannibal
    Arsonist
    Mad Cultist #1
    Mad Cultist #2
    Mute


    This will be a roleplaying game with a lot of interesting characters. I have a lot of stuff written for this game, and there's more to the game than meets the eye. It will be both humorous and deadly, just like me.



    Other News:


    I am contemplating creating awards and merit badges for those of you who successfully compete in my mafia games, to be retroactive all the way back to my first game, the mini simpsons mafia. I believe Fenring will be getting two badges, as soon as I can design some.




    This is the basic template for the ribbons. I may be shrinking it down to a smaller size, so you can put them in your signature or whatever. I will also be changing the color and adding a small label indicating which mafia game you won. Sound neat?

    Literary Corner:


    The Northern Terror

    a Medieval 2: Stainless Steel Campaign Story

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Chapter One

    Haakon Haakonsson was the King of Norway during the Viking wars. He personally took his finest knights and generals, along with his only son, and rode into battle against the last of the pagan warlords of Vikingdom. Pirates ruled the Baltic sea, and lawless thugs ruled the whole of Scandinavia, answering to no one. Norway was a small kingdom, and having been pushed out of Scotland and England by the Saxons and the Normans, the previous rulers could not establish order. Haakon was a native of Bergen, and he rose to the highest rank among the nobles there. He established a working relationship with the other nobles, and gradually gained their trust and confidence. When he rode into battle against the viking raiders, they were still a little skeptical. But as he won battle after battle in the most dramatic fashion, losing as little men as possible, he started to gain more support at home. A dozen of the most powerful nobles in the land pledged to follow his banner into battle, and joined him in the field. They all became fierce warriors, and their raiding tactics against Viking settlements sent the warlords scurrying, and they all ended up dead or in custody.

    That is when I became one of Lord Haakonsson's advisors. I had been an administrator in Bergen, and I was called to duty by my Lord by the end of the Viking Wars. He needed someone to help coordinate logistical support and bring him regular progress reports. I would have followed that man into the gates of hell, directly by his side, and given my life to defend him in battle. But alas, warfare was not my calling. I was an able soldier, but my talents lie in numbers. That is where my king needed me, and that is how I serve.

    The King sent out a diplomat to our Danish neighbors to talk about forming a great Union with the Kingdom of Denmark. The Danes were having territorial disputes with the Holy Roman Empire, and war seemed imminent. They also did not know what our plans were, we had dwarfed them in size and were very much tempered in warfare. They saw us as conquerors.

    But when they heard my Lord's proposal, they were eager to join the alliance. The King of Denmark's daughter was offered to Prince Magnus to seal their alliance, and forge a new nation with two Kings. Denmark would hold the south against possible invaders, and become prosperous from trade with us and the Holy Roman Empire, and we would squash the rebels and marauders of the Baltic, as well as deal with Pagan Lithuania. Denmark and Norway would be mighty together, as part of the Union of Kalmar, named in honor of where the treaty was signed.

    The Holy Roman Emperor was impressed by our rapid expansion across the Baltic, and agreed to negotiate the mutual borders of the Holy Roman Empire and our Union of Kalmar. They had no objections to our claims to the Baltic or the North Sea, they set their sights against internal rebellion, Venice, France, and Poland.

    The Pope recieved word of our brave and honourable conquests, as well as our diplomatic efforts. The Pope sent an emissary to discuss the creation of a United Christendom in Europe, under the banner of Roman Catholicism. Only the Holy Roman Emperor seemed to object to the idea, but the Danish King and m'lord convinced him to sign a pact with us. The Holy Roman Empire and the Kalmar Union would become that United Christendom, and convince the other Christian nations to join our cause and bring peace throughout the lands. At the request of the Pope, and to ease tensions with the Empire, the Republic of Venice agreed to act as the sword of Christendom against any possible invaders from the East, and Genoa agreed to act as the sword against any possible invaders from the southwest. Our task was to bring order and the message of Christ in the north, against the last bastion of blasphemy, Lithuania. At the request of m'lord, the Pope called a crusade against their stronghold of Vilnius. Very quickly, Lithuania's outer provinces fell, and we arrived at the gates of their capital. So begins my story.

    "The Pope is most proud of your efforts against the heathens of Lithuania. It seems even Spain and the Order of the Knights Templar have joined our armies in crusade against them. Our forces have encircled the castle, and any reinforcements will have to fight through our perimeter. We are well-supplied and our supply routes are unblocked. Although there are some slight instances of unrest in the newly conquered lands of the Baltic sea, we are sending reinforcements and establishing order. The whole of Norway bows to your superior wisdom and leadership, and we have just finished construction on a new stronghold at Oslo. We are ready to begin more advanced training and recruitment, on your order. Some of your newly promoted generals at the capital have joined the crusade, and have sailed south to Gronigen in order to liberate the Low Countries from pirates and thieves. We have sent word to our emissary in Marseilles to go meet with the Spanish and Portugese leaders and offer them the Treaty of Alliance you crafted. I am certain they wish to become part of the New Christendom. The treasury is making modest gains, as our troops are willing to fight for you and the Pope without hesitation or pay. All they ask in return is for some land to raise crops, and a handsome bonus when the crusade is over."

    - "That will be all, my friend."

    I returned to my duties, and met with the military council. I set my mind completely against the challenges ahead, and our top generals were optimistic. They had been totally briefed by the Prince, who served as our Lord's chief strategist.

    The assault began on Vilnius the next day, and our brethren Knights of the Order Templar fought bravely with us. The Spanish stayed behind to prevent reinforcements from arriving and guard the seige camp, as well as to forage and gather supplies. We took many losses in defeating the defenders of the castle, but we overwhelmed them and won the day. The Pope blessed Lord Haakonsson and donated a large sum of gold to our cause. Our many generals became known throughout the world as defenders of the faith, chivalrous and trustworthy knights. Our Prince was particularly magnanimous and spared the lives of the Pagans in the settlement, and his bravery in combat, taking the settlement at the cost of several scars, proved him to be a most worthy and honourable commander. The men respected him as much as they loved Lord Haakonsson.

    The next year, At the age of 66, Lord Haakonsson died in battle fighting the Lithuanians as they attempted to retake Vilnius, and he personally destroyed half of their forces before he fell. He refused to risk any of the garrison at Vilnius, and he asked his bodyguards if they were ready to die. He did not order them into battle, and offered to make their families' lives comfortable. Aged veterans all, many men stepped forward to face death with our Lord. Each of them went down in Norwegian history, bravely fighting a losing battle to join Lord Haakonsson as he entered the gates of Valhalla. The Lithuanians limped back home in shame after their Phyrric victory.

    Chapter Two

    Prince Magnus Haakonsson the Saint was crowned King of Norway and High Protector of Christendom the next day. We were all anxious to follow Lord Magnus, for he was the strongest, most determined, and most honourable man I had ever known. The tales of his fighting prowess on the streets of Vilnius are legendary, and he had never harmed an innocent. He believed what his father was doing was right for the world, and he was ready to die. His repoire with the other Christian Kings was equally impressive. They were charmed by him, and he made peace with all.

    After the death of Lord Haakonsson, his son claimed the moniker. He ordered his top generals to come with him to the homeland, and to govern the provinces there. He said he wanted to bring prosperity to his people, and to govern through his father's example. He believed that Norway was the greatest Kingdom on Earth, and that under his leadership, we could achieve anything. I boarded the ship with him, and the other generals on their ships, and we embarked from Riga on a journey home. Norwegian Lithuania would be governed by one of our generals, and we would now invest in the infrastructure of Oslo and other important settlements.

    With the victory against the Pagans, and the costs of the war finally over, our warriors returned home to their families and our population began booming. The Low Countries of Gronigen and Antwerp were ours, and the taxes on trade went directly into building new facilities. But I had distressing news for Lord Haakonsson.

    "The English have declared war against the Holy Roman Empire, and Genoa has declared war against Venice. Christendom is in chaos, m'lord... whom should we support?" My Lord's eyes opened brightly. He must have seen the path we were going to follow in that moment. He looked solemn and serious, but also determined and in control. My Lord spoke:

    "We will support the Holy Roman Emperor, and cancel our alliance with the English. As for Genoa, I am sure Venice can handle them. Let those who struck first against their friends die in battle by the hands of their former friends. The Pope will condemn them, and if the Empire of Rome and the Republic of Venice cannot handle these invaders, we will offer them more support. For now, it is enough that we stand aside and allow these betrayers to die in battle. We must prepare."

    The path chosen by my Lord seemed noble and wise. But I had no idea what he was preparing for. Sometimes I got the feeling that my Lord did not completely trust me, or anyone else around him. He seemed to keep much to himself. He was a proud, quiet man. Yet, the confidence and certainty that he conveyed to me quieted my fears about him, or they would have, if any remained. It was not my place to question him. I would simply have to wait and see.

    A few years passed, and my Lord tried to heal the rift in Christendom by arbitrating an end to the hostilities between Genoa and Venice, and the Holy Roman Empire and Venice. How long the new pact would last, I did not know. But my Lord seemed to be confident in the results. The Pope had excommunicated Scotland and Ireland for their wars in England, and although my Lord did not seem troubled, I often found him talking about it with the noble generals.

    Lord Haakonsson's top advisors reported to him that the Christian minority in Baghdad had been slaughtered by their cruel Muslim overlords, who were a splinter group from mainstream Islam, and did not answer to the Fatmid Caliph. Rumor was that this group intended on destroying all Christians, Jews, Zoroastrians, and any Muslim group that did not support thier tribal warlord, known simply as Malik. My lord asked me to pen a letter to the Pope, calling on him to declare a holy crusade against these villains. Afterward, he told me to assemble his military council. I asked him if we were preparing to go on a crusade to liberate Baghdad. He looked at me with an amused expression on his face, and laughed.

    "No," he said. "We must unite Christendom before we can deal with the outlaws of the Middle East. That is a long way off. I trust my allies to the south will take care of them." I was left wondering precisely what my Lord's plans were.


    This is all I have so far, but the campaign is half-over. I will be posting screenshots, and the ending will be shocking. Keep an eye on Magnus Haakonsson... he's a lot like me.




    On second thought, this content module is surprisingly large, just like me. Oh, never mind.
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

  29. #29
    Senior Member Senior Member Quintus.JC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    Where's the mafia games gonna be played? The gameroom has been short of games lately.

  30. #30
    Know the dark side Member Askthepizzaguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pizzaguy's Corner

    I'll be playing them in the gameroom, of course.

    The trouble is that each game takes a while and most of these count as small games, so I can't run them simultaneously. I am seriously starting to feel the strain of the hosting queue, but I do not want to host down at totalwar center, or Mafiascum.

    I like this site best, and I am familiar with all of you. But I'm getting close to begging the moderators to allow more games.

    Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 01-04-2009 at 14:16.
    #Winstontoostrong
    #Montytoostronger

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