Honey, Let's Go to the Microsoft Store!

[Lemur]

Fresh off their triumph with Songsmith, Microsoft has decided it's time to open some retail stores. No, really.

Microsoft plans to open its own retail stores to "transform the PC and Microsoft buying experience," the company said Wednesday as it hired an executive to run the retail operation.

The stores will help Microsoft engage more deeply with consumers and learn firsthand about what they want to buy and how, according to a Microsoft press release. Deciding where the stores will be located and what they'll look like will be the first order of business for David Porter, who will report to work on Monday as corporate vice president of Retail Stores.

I just don't know. Retail stores make sense for companies such as Gateway, Dell and Apple, who primarily sell hardware. What exactly will Microsoft be selling?

I liked PC World's suggestions for the stores:

The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason. [...]

Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No word yet on what happens to customers inside).

Stores will be named Microsoft Live Retail Store with PC Services for Digital Lifestyle Enthusiasts.

Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked.

[Whacker]

You will also need to press multiple buttons to open a series of doors, thus confirming your intent to enter, before you can even get into the store.

Edit -

Store personnel will repeatedly nag you regarding your purchases. "Are you sure you want this? Are you REALLY sure? Just kinda sure?"

You will need to sign a waiver giving up every single right you have as an individual before you can get into the store.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

As new stores are built, the old ones seem better and better.

[drone]

I just don't know. Retail stores make sense for companies such as Gateway, Dell and Apple, who primarily sell hardware. What exactly will Microsoft be selling?

I'm guessing they will sell Zunes, XBoxes and future products (ZunePhone?). They could showcase OSes, productivity software, Songsmith, Surface and other gadgets/tools they come up with. And a geek bar or whatever they want to call it could be added for support. Basically, they are again copying Apple, who succeeded with this approach. And it's a good idea, but I just see this failing on many levels because it's Microsoft.

But at least it would give me someplace to go to scream, "Why are you killing PC gaming, and therefore the life blood of your company?!? Without PC gaming, I will just use Linux!"

[Gregoshi]

Windows shopping taken to a new low.

As for what they would sell, a good part of the store will probably be Xbox stuff.

Edit: drone snuck in ahead of me.

[Husar]

Asking what they will sell is like asking what will apple sell in an apple store.

Microsoft has quite a lot of products they can sell, in fact I can think of more than I can think of in case of apple, but hey, don't let me get in the way of your microsoft bashing.
Not like they're perfect but it must be fun to mock everything they do just because they're not the underdog. *hugs his Microsoft Wireless Mouse*

[Reverend Joe]

Asking what they will sell is like asking what will apple sell in an apple store.

Microsoft has quite a lot of products they can sell, in fact I can think of more than I can think of in case of apple, but hey, don't let me get in the way of your microsoft bashing.
Not like they're perfect but it must be fun to mock everything they do just because they're not the underdog. *hugs his Microsoft Wireless Mouse*

Thank you.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

I think the Apple stores are just as silly (or creepy with how people go there for fun) and Microsoft emulating that makes me scratch my head. Besides the xBox, they have far less hardware that needs showcasing as opposed to Apple. I mean, what kind of computers will they be running their demos on? In contrast, Apple software (except for iTunes) is supposed to only be run on Apple hardware.

[Lemur]

Asking what they will sell is like asking what will apple sell in an apple store.

Slight difference in business models, perhaps you've heard about it—Apple decided early on to make its money in hardware, while Microsoft gambled on making dough in software. That slight difference of opinion meant that Microsoft got a 90%+ market share, and Apple didn't.

I only mention this because while there are many examples of hardware vendors creating stores (some successful, some less so) I can't think of any example of a single software vendor creating a retail space. Not one. Ever.

So this is new ground, no matter how you look at it.

-edit-

And before you say it, yes, I know Microsoft does make and sell some hardware. But they have never made their money from it; the Xbox division has never turned a profit, not even for a single quarter, while the Zune ... well, let's just leave the Zune out of the discussion. Their mice and keyboards are quite nice, but they're a drop in the ocean in terms of cash. Microsoft has never been primarily a hardware company.

[Husar]

So they're being innovative and that's a bad thing?

[Lemur]

They're being imitative (of the Apple's stores) and it's likely to fail. And why, exactly, are you so sensitive to anyone making fun of Microsoft? Are you worried that nobody will stand up for the big guy?

[KukriKhan]

You will also need to press multiple buttons to open a series of doors, thus confirming your intent to enter, before you can even get into the store.

Edit -

Store personnel will repeatedly nag you regarding your purchases. "Are you sure you want this? Are you REALLY sure? Just kinda sure?"

You will need to sign a waiver giving up every single right you have as an individual before you can get into the store.

rofl.

At checkout, the cash register will read: "Windows has encountered an unknown error, and will now close".

On leaving the store, the door reads: "Are you sure you want to exit? Would you rather hibernate?".

"Click 'Start', then 'Enter', to Exit."

[Proletariat]

They're being imitative (of the Apple's stores) and it's likely to fail. And why, exactly, are you so sensitive to anyone making fun of Microsoft? Are you worried that nobody will stand up for the big guy?

I got the opposite impression, I don't see how this is such a laughable move by MS. They're going to open brick and mortar stores, most likely to combat the weaknesses you've mentioned the company has. What's the fuss?

[Lemur]

Well, it's uncharted territory, that's for sure. Imagine an EA retail store, or an Adobe shop at the mall. Hey honey, after you buy those shoes, let's hit the Vivendi genius bar!

Sony makes money from hardware: Sony stores are a success. Apples makes money from hardware: Apple stores are a success. Borland makes money from software: That's why you've never seen a frickin' Borland store.

I'll go on the record: Not only is a Microsoft retail store a bad idea, it's eminently mockable. Perhaps not as immediately funny as Songsmith, but it's close.

[lars573]

Microsoft makes some money from hardware, Microsoft stores are ?

[Lemur]

I take it back, after seven years the Xbox division turned a profit in 2008. Admittedly, their 2008 profit was less than half of their 2007 loss, but credit where credit is due.

[Forward Observer]

Nobody bothered to mention all the sales they will get in other merchandise utilizing the Microsoft logos.

I can't wait to get a tee shirt, a tote bag, and a coffee mug--all with the Windoze logo.

Retro stuff would be popular too. Just think a tee shirt that says "WindowsME" and underneath
it would have the letters "was a P.O.S" in big red caps.

---or another that says "Windows ME" and underneath it says "who farted"

---or one that says "Windows Vista" and underneath it says "I paid extra to be a beta tester".

The possibilities are endless

[drone]

If they sell retro XP licenses, I'm there!