As a person who hadn’t children of his own (as far as I know as I speak to a lawyer) but now I have a parental duty as my wife’s daughter being a teenage pregnant…

I have to say it wasn’t a choice at first, not to have children. I got divorced then I did a lot of things. No child means I went to a lot of countries, did some dangerous jobs, risked my life few times and almost lost the gamble…
It was great: the wind of Bosnia, Sarajevo when sun rises, the dolphins in the Red sea, the mud and the rain in Zaire, the snow in Russia and others things. That is for the no-child option.
I was free, enjoyed it.

Now, when I put my grand-daughter to bed, when I dry her tears, when a little mouth is quietly sucking her dummy, I know why I did all what I did.
When her little arms are around my neck, when her small breath calm down and she goes to sleep, sure to be protected, sure that nobody will come to arm her, I find the reasons why I joined the Army long time ago.
I can’t describe the feeling to have her, to see her moving, thinking, being a human in motion. Her cheekiness, the fact she know she is ruling over me, and the love I have for her…

So, when walking from work, from a usual job, not a job where I save the victims of cataclysms (human made or nature made) I wonder when I was happy.
Well, in both.
When I had the adrenalin rush, when I saved lives, when I run under shells and bullets I was.
When I cover her small body with her blanket, when I give her the good night kiss, I am happy.

It is not or.. or..
It is instead. There is no unique answer.
Our future is in (mostly) in our hands. We can be happy with or without children…

Don’t be scared. It is just another life where priorities are different, where entertainment is different, where all is different.
Now, I heard a lot of colleagues who refer to the life before kids as the Golden Age, ignoring the fact that they didn’t do a lot of things at that time.
They idealised these moments so spoil the moment they live now.
I remember one of my friends driving me to the airport for an overseas mission. He envied me. But the night before, when I saw him with his young baby I was crying of jealousy.

For me, to have kids or not was never a choice. Life did it.
So, you want a kid, just do it. Yes, it will change your life but nobody can tell you if it will be for the best or the worst.

In life there are no if no but. What if I have chosen the Foreign Legion? What if I didn’t divorce? What if…
Whatever the choice you will do, you will never be able to be sure it was the right one.