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Thread: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

  1. #1
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    This story is not fully understood yet, but it could be bad:

    The FBI is investigating the hanging death of a U.S. Census worker near a Kentucky cemetery, and a law enforcement official told The Associated Press the word 'fed" was scrawled on the dead man's chest.

    The body of Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old part-time Census field worker and occasional teacher, was found Sept. 12 in a remote patch of the Daniel Boone National Forest in rural southeast Kentucky. The Census has suspended door-to-door interviews in rural Clay County, where the body was found, pending the outcome of the investigation.

    Investigators are still trying to determine whether the death was a killing or a suicide, and if a killing, whether the motive was related to his government job or to anti-government sentiment.

    It's possible that the man committed suicide, but unlikely, given his profile.

    Two other non-political possibilities: Maybe he was mixed up in something he shouldn't have been. Or maybe he stumbled across a local's pot patch or still while doing his census job.

    The last, and most troubling possibility is that he was murdered for being a tentacle of ZOG and the Socialist Conspiracy. What do Orgahs think?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    I blame the 24 hour news cycle.

  3. #3
    Mr Self Important Senior Member Beskar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    He was obviously a tentacle of ZOG threatening to undermine the powerful land of the free, America.
    Last edited by Beskar; 09-24-2009 at 17:53.
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    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Granpappy used to shoot at the census man to. Glad to see this is coming back en vouge
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    This comment is witty! Senior Member LittleGrizzly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Assuming this is some anti goverment murder I hope 'the fed' hits him with everything they have... screw these whacko conspiracy nuts...
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  6. #6
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    My guess:

    Kentucky + National Forest + Dead Government Dude = Pot farm.
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    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Oh for crying out loud.

    Finally someone rebels against the oppressive government, and he's hanged?!??!

    What happened to the guns?? They haven't been taken yet! America, where are your grapes??
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

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    The very model of a modern Moderator Xiahou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by drone View Post
    Kentucky + National Forest + Dead Government Dude = Pot farm.


    I hear growing pot in National Forests is becoming quite a problem.

    Edit: Here's an even more relevant link.
    The remote and rugged terrain, including the 700,000 acres of the Daniel Boone National Forest, is a pot-grower's paradise — its perfect soil and climate give it a key place in America's "Marijuana Belt."
    Last edited by Xiahou; 09-24-2009 at 19:27.
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  9. #9
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    It's called the Bluegrass state for a reason.
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    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    If it is the Klan the real scary part is they spelled Fed correctly.
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    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Definitely doesn't sound like suicide ...

    Bill Sparkman, the Census worker found dead in Kentucky recently was not found hanging from a tree, according to an FBI spokesman. Rather, David Beyer told TPMmuckraker, Sparkman's feet were planted on the ground. A rope around Sparkman's neck was attached to a tree.

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    Senior Member Senior Member gaelic cowboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    A fine cell and possibly the hangmans noose waits for the man who did that very sad indeed
    Last edited by gaelic cowboy; 09-25-2009 at 00:26.
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    Iron Fist Senior Member Husar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito View Post
    If it is the Klan the real scary part is they spelled Fed correctly.


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    In the shadows... Member Vuk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Oh my, people really think that this is an anti-government conspiracy/murder? Bet your behind that you will find out that it had nothing to do with it (or worse, someone did that to draw suspision of themselves for the murder).
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    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by drone View Post
    My guess:

    Kentucky + National Forest + Dead Government Dude = Pot farm.
    Doubt it, why leave someone hanging in the open when the last you can use is attention.

  16. #16
    Mr Self Important Senior Member Beskar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Maybe it is like the Da Vinci code. He got shot/wounded serverely, so in his final moments, he wrote who did it "Fed" and hung himself up for attention then did a draconian code in sticks and leaves on the floor, starting a quest to find the lost moderator and a evil plot to force a storm in Tosa's teacup.
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  17. #17
    Senior Member Senior Member gaelic cowboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Do we all really have to make jokes about this tis a bit tasteless someone is dead
    They slew him with poison afaid to meet him with the steel
    a gallant son of eireann was Owen Roe o'Neill.

    Internet is a bad place for info Gaelic Cowboy

  18. #18
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Hmm you are right gonna contact Tosa, hang on brb

  19. #19

    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by gaelic cowboy View Post
    Do we all really have to make jokes about this tis a bit tasteless someone is dead
    Did you know him?

  20. #20
    Senior Member Senior Member gaelic cowboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by Ja'chyra View Post
    Did you know him?
    No but man is still dead and the first few comments in the thread are jokey in nature.

    I know that none of the members are really going out of there way to be insensitive but this is the internet and not a private room where we might understand the context of the statement.

    Anyways its early days in this incident the police are still looking at it are they not it might turn out to be murder or a case of sucide so probably best to err on the side of caution with this one at least thats what I think
    They slew him with poison afaid to meet him with the steel
    a gallant son of eireann was Owen Roe o'Neill.

    Internet is a bad place for info Gaelic Cowboy

  21. #21
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Wasn't Fred

  22. #22
    Upstanding Member rvg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by gaelic cowboy View Post
    No but man is still dead and the first few comments in the thread are jokey in nature.
    oh geez. you ppl need to lighten up. for real.
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  23. #23
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    New details:

    A part-time census worker found hanging in a rural Kentucky cemetery was naked, gagged and had his hands and feet bound with duct tape, said an Ohio man who discovered the body two weeks ago. The word "fed" was written in felt-tip pen on 51-year-old Bill Sparkman's chest, but authorities have released very few other details in the case, such as whether they think it was an accident, suicide or homicide.

    Hmm. Accident and suicide seem ... shall we say ... unlikely. Hard to kill yourself when your hands and feet are bound with duct tape. Not saying it's impossible. Maybe some exceptionally clever person can figure out how to kill himself with a rope around his neck while his feet are on the ground and his extremities are duct taped. I guess it could happen.
    Last edited by Lemur; 09-26-2009 at 04:47.

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    Devout worshipper of Bilious Member miotas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Maybe he is a thoughtful murderer and gives his victims a last meal.
    Last edited by miotas; 09-26-2009 at 06:13.

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    Upstanding Member rvg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by miotas View Post
    Maybe he is a thoughtful murderer and gives his victims a last meal.
    BWAHAHAHAHA. Oh man, you're killing me.
    "And if the people raise a great howl against my barbarity and cruelty, I will answer that war is war and not popularity seeking. If they want peace, they and their relatives must stop the war." - William Tecumseh Sherman

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  26. #26

    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Maybe some exceptionally clever person can figure out how to kill himself with a rope around his neck while his feet are on the ground and his extremities are duct taped. I guess it could happen.
    Was he a Conservative MP by any chance?

  27. #27
    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Was his liver eaten with a nice chianti? Then we could easily figure out the killer.
    This space intentionally left blank.

  28. #28
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur View Post
    Hmm. Accident and suicide seem ... shall we say ... unlikely. Hard to kill yourself when your hands and feet are bound with duct tape. Not saying it's impossible. Maybe some exceptionally clever person can figure out how to kill himself with a rope around his neck while his feet are on the ground and his extremities are duct taped. I guess it could happen.
    David Carradine?

  29. #29
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars View Post
    David Carradine?
    Did not have his hands and feet bound. That tends to make solo auto-asphyxiation a difficult process.

  30. #30
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Census worker hanged with 'fed' on body

    Go up onto a tree branch, tie the noose, duct tape yourself, arrange the rope so that it goes from being tied on the same branch you're standing on over a higher branch so that when you jump off you'll be off the ground, but select the branch that the rope goes over so that it will eventually break under the weight and you'll drop to the ground.

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