Let's see... penis enlargement, loans -- wait a minute --

[Reverend Joe]

What the hell?!



Is this for real?! Did someone expect me to open this?! How dumb do they think people are?!

This has to be the weirdest attempt at a virus e-mail ever.

[miotas]

I know people who'd open it.

[Csargo]

Click it!

[Lemur]

So, what did it say when you opened it? I gotta know! It may hold the secret to instant wealth, like mine did:

From: Mr. Johnson Traore.
Director in Charge of Vault.
Laveguarde Security Company.
Abidjan-Ivory Coast.
West Africa.

Hello Dear,

Please accept my apology if my mail cause you any form of embarrassment. I am Mr. Johnson Traore; I work with a leading security company here in Abidjan - Ivory Coast as Director in Charge of Vaults.

I have two abandon consignment Trunk boxes worth 10.7MUSD in our Security Vault right now, the consignment belongs to one of our customs who also happen to be my friend.

But right now he is dead and no one has come forward to lay claim to this consignment for over a year now and my company want to turn over the two consignment to the Ministry of Securities as unclaimed item in line with the policy of my company.

I seek for your urgent assistance to come forward and make claim to this consignment so that it will be delivered to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer.

Please be rest assured that my intention is genuine and I am willing to present you with all the necessary documents to authenticate my claims and will facilitate the quick release of the consignment, since the customer has paid all necessary dues before his death, all we need do is make legal transfer of ownership of the consignment to your name legally at the court and you become the bona-fide owner of the consignment and it will be shipped to your choice destination by Diplimatic Courier.

Please note that as soon as I receive your acceptance e-mail, I will give you more details and what to do.

Kindly to reply me through my private email address: , if you are interested because we have just 7 working days to make this claim and please you must keep this information secret until we are through.

Thank you and May God bless you,

Mr. Johnson Traore

[Tratorix]

Oh, whoever sent that email is a master of suspense!

[Csargo]

lol Let's see...penis...

[drone]

Why did you send blood to Netflix?

[econ21]

Forgive my dumb question, but can you get a virus just from opening an E-mail? I thought you had to click an attachment or something.

[Lemur]

can you get a virus just from opening an E-mail?

In general, no, but it's possible, depending on your email client and OS. Worst possible combo would be Outlook Express and unpatched Windows XP. Best combo would be Gmail, any non-IE browser, and a current-gen, patched OS.

[Monk]

Why did you send blood to Netflix?

I'm getting tired of these vampires.

[Caius]

In general, no, but it's possible, depending on your email client and OS. Worst possible combo would be Outlook Express and unpatched Windows XP. Best combo would be Gmail, any non-IE browser, and a current-gen, patched OS.

The Klez virus was one that did damage just by opening it. And I say it for experience.

[Lemur]

The Klez virus was one that did damage just by opening it. And I say it for experience.

And what email client and OS were you using when you got bonked?

[Caius]

Win ME and Outlook Express IIRC.

[Lemur]

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case. Outlook Express is exactly as safe as playing with robotic death tarantulas. With frickin' lasers on their cepalothoraxes.

[Beskar]

Could we rename this topic? Having people pull a face and sniggering when they see "Lets see... penis!" title tends to get a little annoying.

[Lemur]

Nonsense. This is the kingdom of peace and love; both penis enlargements and sub-prime loans are welcome.

Unless, of course, you're willing to take me up on an Urgent Business Opportunity ...

[a completely inoffensive name]

Win ME

I am truley sorry for your lots.

[pevergreen]

Win ME

As I said during my schooling years:

"Windows ME leaves more ports open than your mother."

[Pannonian]

Forgive my dumb question, but can you get a virus just from opening an E-mail? I thought you had to click an attachment or something.

Swen

[Lemur]

I am truley sorry for your lots.

My pary are with the father who lost his chrilden.

[SwordsMaster]

Lemur is obviously not entertained at work...

[Viking]

I wonder if it is with love

[Husar]

I got a very similar mail yesterday in the spam folder and opened it.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Because I had sent it to myself as a test and forgot to add a subject and text.