I want to be part of the garrison of that tiny little island in the Baltic, just off the east coast of Scandinavia, that the Sweboz and Sauromatae can't reach because they can't be bothered to build ships, and too distant for anyone else to bother with. I think the predecessors of the Geats live there (the tribe that Beowulf comes from in the far distant future.)

It's a quiet, easy life! Unless I want to join the crew of a pirate ship. But since only pirate ships bother with the Baltic, even then I'm in no danger - just sacking coastal fishing villages. What fun.