Finding "the one"

[Louis VI the Fat]

God helps those who help themselves.

Set up an elaborate 'sign from above'. She'll believe it was a sign from God. You will get married and live happily ever after. And if there is indeed an almighty God, He thus obviously meant it to be so it was a sign from Him in the first place.

[pevergreen]

Set up an elaborate 'sign from above'. She'll believe it was a sign from God. You will get married and live happily ever after. And if there is indeed an almighty God, He thus obviously meant it to be so it was a sign from Him in the first place.

I don't believe in screwing with someones beliefs like that.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I don't believe in screwing with someones beliefs like that.

Would I be wrong in assuming you are a Protestant?

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

God helps those who help themselves.

Set up an elaborate 'sign from above'. She'll believe it was a sign from God. You will get married and live happily ever after. And if there is indeed an almighty God, He thus obviously meant it to be so it was a sign from Him in the first place.

That's not really very funny, Loius. Some people really do die alone because they believe they haven't found the "one". Me, I'm still not sure I didn't meet, her, fail to fall in love with her properly, and then royally screw up.

[Fisherking]

Would I be wrong in assuming you are a Protestant?

[Tellos Athenaios]

The sign from above could be as simple as you taking the initiative and asking her, for all we know. It won't happen if you both keep waiting for a written admission from God that “it is meant to be; now get on with it already”. Not even biblical relationships work that way.

[Fisherking]

I believe in lust at first sight, some times it even changes into love.

I even believe in signs but those are seldom two way and I wouldn’t waste a lot of time waiting around for one.

I even had one of sorts. When I met my wife and we had known each other for a few weeks, she felt she loved me, but could not bring herself to tell me.

One day we were talking and I felt as though I was literally struck by lighting. I blurted out I love you and immediately felt filled with joy and love. This was her opening to tell me how she felt too.

Still through all of that, I don’t think there is only one and you should not wait around for them to show up on your door step.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I'm think she's just conflating other things with her Christian beliefs, it's not uncommon for non-religious people to have this belief in fate and "the one", you see it all over the TV etc.

I do believe that these things work out the way they are meant to, but then again, whenever I pick a blue t-shirt over a red one, I think that is was meant to be that way...

[drone]

Sounds to me like you should give her an intense religious experience.

[Hosakawa Tito]

God helps those who help themselves.

Set up an elaborate 'sign from above'. She'll believe it was a sign from God. You will get married and live happily ever after. And if there is indeed an almighty God, He thus obviously meant it to be so it was a sign from Him in the first place.

Perceptions are reality. Louis is just trying to show how you can make it work for you.

[Scienter]

I don't think 'fate' brings people together. Chemistry does. Or lust. Or a friendship that turns into something else. I don't think there's one and only one 'perfect' person for everyone. If I had never met TinCow, we'd both be involved with other people. It's unromantic but true.

I'm not well versed in the Bible, but I think that your friend is being naive if she thinks that God is going to cause her to cross paths with a man who is perfect for her. Passively waiting for the right man to come along is a recipe for being single.

[Fragony]

If I had never met TinCow, we'd both be involved with other people.

Ow! Tincow you forgot to chain it to the radiator bad idea, now we demand intimate details, say Scienter it couldn't have been that bad now tell everybody what you told me.

[Strike For The South]

The love you feel is a combonation of genetic differences and charictaristices that you find suitable in a mate.

So +1 on this idea

Set up an elaborate 'sign from above'. She'll believe it was a sign from God. You will get married and live happily ever after. And if there is indeed an almighty God, He thus obviously meant it to be so it was a sign from Him in the first place.

God never lays out a guide to dating and to assume he does in naive

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

The love you feel is a combonation of genetic differences and charictaristices that you find suitable in a mate.

So +1 on this idea



God never lays out a guide to dating and to assume he does in naive

...but he did write a sex-manual. Odd, isn't it?

[Strike For The South]

...but he did write a sex-manual. Odd, isn't it?

Sex is power.

[HoreTore]

...but he did write a sex-manual. Odd, isn't it?

Sex-manual?

Explain thyself to us heathens, christ-follower!

[TinCow]

Ow! Tincow you forgot to chain it to the radiator bad idea, now we demand intimate details, say Scienter it couldn't have been that bad now tell everybody what you told me.

Did you just refer to my wife as "it"?

[The Wizard]

etc

[Aemilius Paulus]

Yep, as many noted, there is a hefty amount of, well, sorry to say, BS in the idea of 'the one'. There are three main justifications for it, as far as I can think of on the spot.



A) For one, romantic love, as nearly all of us likely already know, is a recent phenomenon. Sure, it has been around for as far back as we know, but it was never something that was actually practised, notwithstanding rare exceptions. Arranged and forced marriages were the norm. Societies were built on this idea, grounded deeper than any fundamentalist claims of the family as being the fundament of our society (which is true, but a family is far, far less necessary than arranged marriages were in the old times) . Therefore, what we have is a recent phenomenon, which BTW, does not work well at all. The chance of a couple ending the first marriage in a divorce, in US, is higher than 60% (forgot by how much, I just knwo it is more). In contrast, it is a well-established sociological fact that arranged marriages are by far longer lasting, and even happier.

The sociologists insist the lack of expectations as well as the higher rigidity brings the couples together, encouraging the solution of differences and problems. This is the same reason why cohabitation has such an adverse effect (although small in comparison to an arranged marriage), because it does the converse, loosening the importance of the marriage bond, and suggesting that there is always an easy way out. Whatever the fundamentalists may be, they have the right ideas (i.e. the ideas which keep the marriage together, and running happier) about marriage, down to the inequality of husband and wife, as much as I loathe to admit.

Not to mention, the marriages that do end, usually do so before the first eight years - the first 4-7 years is the crucial point. This means that after eight years a family is on average, much safer. However, a couple may make it through the eight years with an ongoing conflict only to split up few years after that. Alternatively, an extramarital affair may occur - after all, close to 20% of all US divorces are due to infidelity, with nearly one out of four men cheating during their marriages.



B) Secondly, true love does start out as lust - something once again pointed out numerous times before me. I will clarify, however, and point out that love is nearly entirely a chemical state of mind - even the long-term affection as a matter of fact. For example, lust, or initial love - whatever you call it, starts out with dopamine and serotonin. Another interesting fact is that a person in love exhibits prolonged significantly heightened levels of serotonin. Dopamine is the more instant-acting chemical while serotonin maintains your obsession over longer periods of time. Now, what the interesting fact I was going to say is that the state of the brain suffering from love is very, very similar to that of an OCD person, down to the levels of serotonin.

Verdict? Love is a mental disorder. And it is, one cannot deny this - people do all sorts of stupid things under the influence of this drug. Finally, even the long term love is a result of chemical imbalance, namely the excess of the hormone of oxytocin. Oxytocin is presnt in all sorts of long-term attachments, including but not limited to lengthy marriage, sibling-sibling, parent-child, and close friend relationships.



C) The third and final point is that love, long- and short- term, can be 'artificially' induced relatively easily given the right conditions. I cannot find the exact study now, but I did read in one of my sociology/psychology books that researchers put together a large number of pairs, (one male, one female) and put them to work on%2

[Louis VI the Fat]

Alright, I'm growing tired of this. The role PM I sent you was edited. This is my full role PM. The bits I cut out from the other version have been bolded for your convenience:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Originally Posted by GeneralHankerchief
Your role is:

The Italian

Fortunes made in no time are like shirts made in no time; it's ten to one if they hang long together.
~ Douglas William Jerrold

Back home, you lived the high life expected of the son of a wealthy Genoese merchant. You were educated in the finest schools and knew nothing but the best of everything. Art, literature, mathematics, etiquette, nothing has escaped your knowledge. Some of your competitors may think otherwise, but you know the end of Genoa’s mercantile power is looming. The Mediterranean is no longer the hub of trade, wealth now flows from the Americas, India, and beyond. Hoping to found a trade house of your own, you set off to explore the opportunities of the New World. But everywhere you went you found the British, French, or Spanish in unassailable control of the markets.

You were drowning your sorrows in one of the finer taverns in Charleston when the attack came. While all others around you were running for their lives, your financial mind came to an epiphany. The only part of the New World not controlled by Genoa’s rivals was right before your eyes: the Pirates. In the confusion of the sack, you slipped aboard the Presence, disguised as one of her crew. You were trying to determine how best to propose a mutually profitable trade agreement with the captain when those perfidious British removed the only man with the power to negotiate with you. Ever the innovator, you adjusted your goals accordingly. If you can gain control of the ship's stores and survive until the ship reaches Nassau, perhaps other pirate captains would be willing to entertain your proposals.

Your goal: To survive, and to be the Quartermaster at game’s end. You may tell the other sailors whatever you wish to accomplish this mission, for this is the only way you can personally obtain a victory.

Powers: As a highly educated man, you have skills that will serve you well during your time aboard:
- You may investigate one person a night. Results may vary.
- You may roleblock one person per night. In addition to this, you will also find out how much gold they currently have.

You may do one of these two activities on a single night, but neither of them will earn you any treasure. In addition, you cannot perform the same individual action more than three consecutive nights. In lieu of this, you may also take part in the usual townie group activities (kill with at least 3 others, protect with at least 2 others) and obtain treasure. However, as you are concerned with wealth on a massive scale, the pittance available on board this particular ship means very little to you. Striking a trade agreement with the pirates of Nassau will bring you more wealth than a simple pirate could ever dream of.

Base gold: 100

It does not need to be immediately, but I will require promotion to the QM spot eventually. I will do anything for this. Share my investigation results, kill Crazed Rabbit together with you as per our secret night action clause, share those pictures of my wife I told you about.
So Rabbit or my wife will be upset. Is that any of my concern? Sorry, but I have to look after myself. I know that this will remove my ability to kill at night, but I've got to try and achieve my objective.

Ah, bummer. I thought I remembered TinCow referring to his wife as 'it'. Alas, he doesn't. So much then for my hopes of compromising him with my long memory and pesky large inbox.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Did you just refer to my wife as "it"?

*English diplomacy on*

It must be wonderful to be able to share things like the Backroom with your spouse.

Now, back to the OP....