Well, recognizing that Slavery was the central issue of the time and that "states rights" is a euphemism for one right in particular doesn't mean that one should discard his heritage or deny it. No one alive today (or for quite a long time) is responsible for the institution of slavery or involved with it, why feel that you need to pretend that the the war was about something else? No one has any duty to either condemn or disguise the actions of their ancestors. What happened happened, and pretending that it didn't doesn't change that. Apologism seems just as silly as that man you mention. Southerners weren't ashamed at all of their institution of slavery, they strongly believed in it.

Hating on confederates seems to me the same as hating on various American leaders who enacted unjust policies as Indians, such as Jackson. Why bother? To seem edgy? No one denies it happened, or condones it, so why would one waste such effort?

You won't find a single person who is seriously pro-slavery alive today.