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Thread: Urinal technique

  1. #1
    Senior Member Senior Member Reenk Roink's Avatar
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    Default Urinal technique

    So you know how you have to have a bit of finesse to pee in a urinal without getting it splashed on you?

    Most will learn very fast that if you just aim straight ahead you will get some of that backsplash which is just nasty.

    I suggest you don't even think about pointing upwards, I have tried it and it is the worst idea possible, you will probably need to change your shirt and wash your chin.

    Pointing downwards gets you the most varied results. For some urinals, it is the best way, and you stay nice and dry, but say there is a pool of other piss beforehand, then don't even think about it. Also sometimes those plastic things are at the bottom and those are very splashy. Basically this is a judgement call on your part. High risk high reward.

    I've found that the safest way to get very good results is to point sideways. This way minimizes the splash as the stream hits at an angle and the splash is also directed more to your side.

    However, I was wondering this recently. Say I start taking ExtenZe to increase performance, and my yankee doodle becomes a little more cumbersome to maneuver in cramped quarters. I might be forced to point downward which in certain cases could be disastrous...

  2. #2
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Yeah, it remains a problem. Therefore in public places I usually just use the sink.
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  3. #3

    Default Re: Urinal technique

    What?
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Senior Member Reenk Roink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    Yeah, it remains a problem. Therefore in public places I usually just use the sink.
    I am not going to lie, there have been times where my aim and stability were too poor and I had to use the sink. Actually I've thought about this as well and given the amount of water toilets use, the sink is a lot more ecologically friendly. I just keep going back to the toilet by force of habit (my parents must have potty trained me good... ).

    I hope to see a nice sink/toilet hybrid as an alternative for peeing needs be offered soon.

    Another thing, and this may be just me, but I always have an instinctive urge to pull my shirt up when I pee. I have to consciously suppress this in a public bathroom (in private I just let myself go).

  5. #5
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    I like to fill balloons with mine then throw them at old people...
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  6. #6
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    It's why I always like German restrooms the best: water running down the walls continuously, aim your stream anywhere near, at, or toward the wall, and you're good to go - and ready for thye next bier.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  7. #7
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    If you shake it more than twice yer playing with it.
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

  8. #8
    Shaidar Haran Senior Member SAM Site Champion Myrddraal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    I encountered a spider in a urinal recently. Naturally, I trained my sights on the innocent creature, only to find that it was painted on the urinal! I wonder how many how much cleaning that little spider has saved.

  9. #9
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Did MRD hack Reenk's account?

    Quote Originally Posted by Myrddraal View Post
    I encountered a spider in a urinal recently. Naturally, I trained my sights on the innocent creature, only to find that it was painted on the urinal! I wonder how many how much cleaning that little spider has saved.
    I've seen this done with a fly. Apparently, giving guys something to aim for reduces the cleanup.
    http://boingboing.net/2009/12/21/why...ere-chose.html

    Personally, I aim for the side. Much less splatter.
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  10. #10
    The Usual Member Ice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    Yeah, it remains a problem. Therefore in public places I usually just use the sink.
    With alcohol involved, many find this the most feasible solution.



  11. #11
    Member Centurion1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    You can minimize the splash by adding distance to the shot. And move in as the stream weakens it requires finesse thogh

  12. #12
    Beauty hunter Senior Member Raz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    I just use the cubicles if I'm worried about splash.
    Otherwise you can use the urinals that are more like long metallic trench things. Much, much less splash than wall-mounted porcelain ones (unless you're a terrible aim).
    Quote Originally Posted by drone
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    the G-Diffuser Senior Member pevergreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    How can you miss?

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    The org will be org until everyone calls it a day.

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    but I joke. Some of my best friends are Vietnamese villages.
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  14. #14
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by pevergreen View Post
    How can you miss?
    My son and I were pretty amazed when we saw these urinals in Oz last year. I've not seen anything like them in the US. That and the Dyson air "blade" hand dryers - perhaps the coolest invention of all time.

    As for technique, aim downward to create as low an angle of impact as possible. Any splash will likewise have a low angle of deflection and be caught in the catch basin. Oh, and not waiting until you have to go so bad that the urine has a flow rate equivalent to a fire hose helps reduce splash too.
    This space intentionally left blank

  15. #15
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    My son and I were pretty amazed when we saw these urinals in Oz last year. I've not seen anything like them in the US. That and the Dyson air "blade" hand dryers - perhaps the coolest invention of all time.

    As for technique, aim downward to create as low an angle of impact as possible. Any splash will likewise have a low angle of deflection and be caught in the catch basin. Oh, and not waiting until you have to go so bad that the urine has a flow rate equivalent to a fire hose helps reduce splash too.
    Or sit down on the throne to take care of business. Better than having to explain away the wet spot on one's trousers.
    Last edited by Hosakawa Tito; 06-01-2010 at 13:22. Reason: grammar
    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." *Jim Elliot*

  16. #16
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito View Post
    Or sit down on the throne to take care of business.
    But this only works on European sit down toilets.

    American toilets have a water level so high that the bottom half my thingy gets submerged. Yuckie.
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
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    the G-Diffuser Senior Member pevergreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    That and the Dyson air "blade" hand dryers - perhaps the coolest invention of all time.
    Just google'd them, wow, I've never seen them.
    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    The org will be org until everyone calls it a day.

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    but I joke. Some of my best friends are Vietnamese villages.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    Anyone who wishes to refer to me as peverlemur is free to do so.

  18. #18
    Little Mons†er Senior Member Secura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    This thread is a valuable insight into male toilet etiquette for the fairer sex... thank you, Reenk. xD
    "Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself… that is coffee."

  19. #19
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Secura View Post
    This thread is a valuable insight into male toilet etiquette for the fairer sex... thank you, Reenk. xD
    http://www.drinknation.com/fun/urinaltest
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  20. #20
    Little Mons†er Senior Member Secura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by drone View Post
    Dear God, I got 40 out of 60.... o_O'
    "Blacker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself… that is coffee."

  21. #21
    Headless Senior Member Pannonian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    Yeah, it remains a problem. Therefore in public places I usually just use the sink.
    I knew someone who used the sink once. For a number two.

  22. #22
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by pevergreen View Post
    Just google'd them, wow, I've never seen them.
    They work as advertised. Feels like you are sticking your hands through a force field. Hands wet, hands in, hands out, hands dry. Amazing. Melbourne's airport had them and I think a museum there as well. My son wanted us to buy one or two for the house. I was seriously considering it.
    This space intentionally left blank

  23. #23
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Secura View Post
    Dear God, I got 40 out of 60.... o_O'
    I got a kick out of this:
    http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urin...vulnerability/
    The comment section is pure gold.
    The .Org's MTW Reference Guide Wiki - now taking comments, corrections, suggestions, and submissions

    If I werent playing games Id be killing small animals at a higher rate than I am now - SFTS
    Si je n'étais pas jouer à des jeux que je serais mort de petits animaux à un taux plus élevé que je suis maintenant - Louis VI The Fat

    "Why do you hate the extremely limited Spartan version of freedom?" - Lemur

  24. #24
    Headless Senior Member Pannonian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by drone View Post
    I got a kick out of this:
    http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urin...vulnerability/
    The comment section is pure gold.
    "Even more awkward is a trough urinal placed in the middle of the mens room floor leading to potential cross streaming, and looking forward at another dudes junk or making eye contact."

    Ghostbusters isn't fictional. People just don't realise it's allegorical.

  25. #25
    Hope guides me Senior Member Hosakawa Tito's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Secura View Post
    This thread is a valuable insight into male toilet etiquette for the fairer sex... thank you, Reenk. xD

    Your worst fears confirmed. There are no jokes it's all really true, the Frenchman's delusions of grandeur notwithstanding, nor sitting. Pass Louis the tripod...
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  26. #26
    Parthian Cataphract #03452 Member Zradha Pahlavan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    I hate public bathrooms, so I try to stay as far away from them as possible. But I have used them on occasion, and not once have they ever redeemed themselves.
    Here's a particularly nasty "technique" that someone apparently thought of: pooping in the urinal. I'm glad I wasn't there to see him actually do it and I don't know how he did it, but I saw the aftermath. Maybe the toilets were broken. I hope.

    Then there was the time when a school toilet was booby-trapped with superglue and someone got stuck to it, but that's another story.
    Parthian Nationalist

  27. #27
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Post Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Secura View Post
    This thread is a valuable insight into male toilet etiquette for the fairer sex... thank you, Reenk. xD

    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
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  28. #28
    Mercury Member Thermal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    I don't use public toilets, nevermind urinals. The water gets recycled does it not? So does it benefit the environment?

  29. #29

    Default Re: Urinal technique

    Quote Originally Posted by Secura View Post
    Dear God, I got 40 out of 60.... o_O'
    thats ok i scored 30 outa 60...
    Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
    By the livin' Gawd that made you,
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
    Quote Originally Posted by North Korea
    It is our military's traditional response to quell provocative actions with a merciless thunderbolt.

  30. #30
    Grand Patron's Banner Bearer Senior Member Peasant Phill's Avatar
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    Default Re: Urinal technique

    So nobody tries trick shots? Trying to hit both sides at once or making a drawing in the paper that was left in the urinal.
    There is always the contest to see who can urinate the highest (I believe pandas do this to).
    I also have a friend who tried to 'draw' a circle on the road every chance he got.
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