Asking a girl out via email: legit or not

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads.

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

[SwordsMaster]

Ask her for her phone number via email. Then ask her out.

Otherwise, be frank, and just tell her that you would prefer to ask her out in person, but you're never on site, and ask her not to judge you.

[Kagemusha]

What SwordsMaster said. Ask her number and then ask her out.

[Megas Methuselah]

E-mailing her is kind of freaky, mane. If I were you, I'd just grab any excuse possible to go back and see her.

[Moros]

If you are twelve and shy go for it. Otherwise, a big fat

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

NO

[Crazed Rabbit]

I'll second (third?) the get the phone number first idea.

Also, don't mention talk about going on dates on company email if you can avoid it.

That sort of stuff is best kept from the bosses and people at a company who might take it upon themselves to intrude if they feel you are doing something even mildly inappropriate.

CR

[Beskar]

Asking for her number via email is freaky too.

Just go and ask her.

[Centurion1]

Go ask her

[Monk]

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads.

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird ...

If it feels impersonal and weird then it almost always is. Find an excuse to get on site and strike up some conversation.

but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

Yeah, don't do what you just suggested. If you want her number step up to the plate and try your luck, but don't tip-toe around behind her back trying to get it through really awkward methods.

[Centurio Nixalsverdrus]

Personally, I don't see a problem in asking someone via E-Mail.

But then again, girls are so easy to scare and intimidate, I would listen to what they say to you.

[Ibrahim]

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads.

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

don't be a coward. period. I say this because, even if she says no, at least she can't fault you for being one; one person (well, the only person), while she said no, did at least give me credit for not being a chicken.

as everyone else says, ask her her number, not for a date. then ask her in person.

[Hooahguy]

Dont ask her out via email or AIM or facebook. Shows that you dont really care enough to sum up the courage to ask her face to face. Just my two cents.

[pevergreen]

It depends on the girl. Some don't see anything wrong with being asked out via electronic means, some will hate you for it.

The safest bet is to do it face to face.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Man I never thought I'd be making one of these kinds of threads.

So I want to ask this girl out to lunch as a first date, but I don't have her cell phone number. She's an intern at the place where I'm the web admin, and so I'm very rarely actually on site (and I don't have an excuse to go visit). When I have been there I think we hit it off but I'm a big dumb idiot so I didn't ask her out then and there. I do have her work email address, but I really don't know how appropriate/inappropriate it would be to ask her to lunch through that. It seems really impersonal and weird but I can't think of another solution besides like asking her (and my) boss for her cell phone number, which seems equally questionable. Any advice?

Hehehe, sounds like you have a very good excuse for a visit to me. Go there just before the lunch hour and ask her to go out to lunch. No need to be coy/demur, that's her job. Call me old fashioned but e-mailing/texting that request minus the face-to-face eye contact/body language/smile seems so lacking in the human animal element. Fine for making an appointment to fix the car, but not as a way to first connect with new people.

[Gregoshi]

Visit her.

You: "Hi <insert her name here>. I'm here to take care of your computer problem."
Her: "Oh? What is the problem?"
You: "Well, your computer is a totally inappropriate means of asking you out for lunch, so I thought I'd come over and see to it personally. So, would you like to go out and grab a bit to eat sometime?"
Her: "That is so sweet. I want you now!"

[Peasant Phill]

I just don't see any reason to get some excuse to get to talk to her. Just go to her when you think she takes her lunch break or when her shift is over and just say that you think you hit it off earlier and you want to get to know her better. The sooner you do it the better.
The direct approach is the best.

[Major Robert Dump]

You may just consider following her home to find out where she lives. Then, when she leaves again, go into her house and use her phone to call yourself so you have the number on caller ID. Then you can call her later and say you were just "calling her back." It is best to call her back while hiding in a tree near a window of her house.

[Ice]

You may just consider following her home to find out where she lives. Then, when she leaves again, go into her house and use her phone to call yourself so you have the number on caller ID. Then you can call her later and say you were just "calling her back." It is best to call her back while hiding in a tree near a window of her house.

Don't forget to do this while she is changing and make it clear you can see her with your binoculars.

[ArpeggiateTHIS]

No. Do not. Never. Never ever.

Pluck up the courage to ask her in person, your chances of success will dramatically increase from 0.01% to whatever it would be normally.

[Husar]

You may just consider following her home to find out where she lives. Then, when she leaves again, go into her house and use her phone to call yourself so you have the number on caller ID. Then you can call her later and say you were just "calling her back." It is best to call her back while hiding in a tree near a window of her house.

Best advice so far.

[drone]

Visit her.

You: "Hi <insert her name here>. I'm here to take care of your computer problem."
Her: "Oh? What is the problem?"
You: "Well, your computer is a totally inappropriate means of asking you out for lunch, so I thought I'd come over and see to it personally. So, would you like to go out and grab a bit to eat sometime?"
Her: "That is so sweet. I want you now!"

Bow-chick-a-bow-wow!

[Skullheadhq]

Send her a virus in the email, her computer stops working, you wait till she gets desperate because she can't work, you fix it and will be her hero, then you ask her out.

[Ibrahim]

Send her a virus in the email, her computer stops working, you wait till she gets desperate because she can't work, you fix it and will be her hero, then you ask her out.

Lolwut?

and if she finds out the truth? she'd give him the Montana territory treatment. which is to say: she'll corner him in a shed, shoot at it, and if that fails, used a cannon on the shed (blowing the house up), then emptyig her pistol into what's left of him, hang him to a tree, shoot at him some more, then burn his body, and let prostitutes fall on the ashes to collect any gold he had when alive.*

*all this is based on a known incident in Montana, 1864-hence the name.

[Skullheadhq]

Lolwut?

and if she finds out the truth? she'd give him the Montana territory treatment. which is to say: she'll corner him in a shed, shoot at it, and if that fails, used a cannon on the shed (blowing the house up), then emptyig her pistol into what's left of him, hang him to a tree, shoot at him some more, then burn his body, and let prostitutes fall on the ashes to collect any gold he had when alive.*

*all this is based on a known incident in Montana, 1864-hence the name.

proxy+fake mail, what could go wrong?

[Monk]

proxy+fake mail, what could go wrong?

That's a conversation with the sysadmin I wouldn't want to have.

[Skullheadhq]

That's a conversation with the sysadmin I wouldn't want to have.

He is the admin.

[Megas Methuselah]

He is the admin.

O tempora! O mores!

[Ibrahim]

proxy+fake mail, what could go wrong?

she stumbles on a person the fellow talked to about this. for her not to find out for certain, he'd have to fly to Leiden, Kill ye, then fly to the US and bump me, two admins, and MM off (and, well, anyone who read this).

call me paranoid, but a similar situation happened to me (no, I didn't kill anyone; I was the one finding stuff out about people and me). XD

[Hosakawa Tito]

I just hope we hear the rest of the story. I like a good love story.

[Ibrahim]

I just hope we hear the rest of the story. I like a good cruddy love story.

well, I may be an ****, but I'm not a murderer. I let them know what I thought, namely I either don't care, or don't think much of them (not after the methods they used). though I didn't say it that way.

but yeah, what the ladies usually did was write myspace messages (anonymously), or say stuff to my friends, hoping they'd somehow get the idea across to me. they'd often also try to get friends to set me up somehow (not unlike the virus thing mentioned here).

One person even gave me suggestive..looks, though nothing decisive. naturally, of course I figured out what was going on. And because these people didn't have the ability to just say their peace, I wouldn't be impressed. I prefer people be blunt with me, though not rude.

but I'm not going to tell you the whole story, as I don't want to embarrass them that much.