POW

[PanzerJaeger]

I was the victim of a ruthless invasion last year. The merciless aggressors plundered my crops and set up residence on my land. After subjecting myself and my family to a multitude of injustices, including the very expensive and complete destruction of the wiring in a perfectly nice BMW, the vicious hordes set about destroying my home, piece by piece, from the roof down.

As any freedom fighter, I've fought a valiant yet fruitless insurgent campaign against them. I've set booby traps, engaged in small arms battles, and even turned the BMW against them. I've even secured the assistance of paid mercenaries in an effort to even the playing field to no avail. The bastards are relentless in their mission to destroy my property value.

But today, my friends! Today the tide has turned. My intrepid lieutenant, Maximilian, apprehended one of the imperialist rats! It appears to be a youngling, naive to the war his parents are waging against me.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Max

Execution was my first instinct, with the body stuck to a pike in the middle of my yard for all to see. As I began to weigh my options more carefully, however, the idea of having a hostage for propaganda and negotiation purposes became more and more attractive.

As of now, the prisoner is being kept in good conditions, but everything could change based on the condition I find my roof in the spring!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

POW #5525

[gaelic cowboy]

A pet weasel/stoat/ferret will sort them rebels out out no bother.

[Hooahguy]

Man that mouse is cute.

[gaelic cowboy]

Will there be a show trial where prisoner #5525 is forced eagerly denounces his former comrades counterrevolutionaries and reaffirm his love of the leader and his great plan.

Long live the Leader

(everyone claps for five minutes after the leader stops speaking)

[Rhyfelwyr]

It's only a mouse, we had one in the kitchen a few months ago, I tried chasing it once and nearly got it but it was too quick. I'm losing my instincts!

But who could harm a mouse anyway? It's not like it's a rat, we still have them just now, the neighbours kid got wheels disease.

[gaelic cowboy]

Weil's disease is a dirty one to get, the symptoms can look like something else or there are none at all. I know fella who got it and twas a while before they tested for it eventually.

[Megas Methuselah]

I crush mice with my steel-toe boots and slapshoot them to death with my hockey sticks. That's how we do it in mah 'hood, bwoi.

[PanzerJaeger]

It is actually a baby squirrel!

I didn't know that they were so destructive until I moved into my current house. Now I hate them. #5525 was only granted clemency due to his cute factor being off the charts.

Now I have to decide whether I want to keep him or let him go in the country.

[Moros]

Note that it might not be legal to keep it as a pet. I'm not sure what the regulations are where you live though.

[drone]

Squirrels are just furry tailed rats. Grey ones, anyways. They can be very destructive, they will tear up wood siding, fascia boards, porch screens, decking, etc. I took down many as a teenager, and even now I have to protect the homestead every once and a while. A nice air rifle does the trick in residential areas...

[Major Robert Dump]

I'm curious to see how this boils out. I returned home recently to find that an unknown creature has eaten away the heat and air tubing under my house after chewing through the outside barrier by the air conditioner. It makes lots of noise at night, and stays right under my bedroom, sounds like it is trying to come through the floor after me. I'm trying to avoid crawling down there with a buckshot pistol, but so far all other options have failed.

You could call some rednecks. They love to eat squirrels.

[Fisherking]

Here it is martins that eat cars.

Skunks and weasels have also been known to destroy the underside of houses.

But MRD is right about them good ol’ boys. You need local help. Or you could try a bird feeder and a shotgun.

[Fragony]

That isn't a mouse you ijjits it's a squirrel

[Strike For The South]

Chemicals, use them.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Smother 'em in onions, carrots, and gravy with a side of grits and biscuits.

[gaelic cowboy]

Smother 'em in onions, carrots, and gravy with a side of grits and biscuits.

Just like Grandma used to make mmmm mmmm

[Hooahguy]

Indoctrinate him so he will return to his herd (or whatever groups of squirrels are called) so he will persuade his family and friends to stop their attacks.

Worked for the Reapers, should work for you too.

[Strike For The South]

If this thread doesn't end up with pictures of this squrriel in full SS regailia, I will be dissapoint

And let's not play that tired old game of "But SFTS I don't have any squrriel size SS style uniforms" Because we both know that's a lie and the sooner we get these photos up the sooner the meme happens

[Hooahguy]

Ah the wonders of photoshop.

[edyzmedieval]

If this thread doesn't end up with pictures of this squrriel in full SS regailia, I will be dissapoint

And let's not play that tired old game of "But SFTS I don't have any squrriel size SS style uniforms" Because we both know that's a lie and the sooner we get these photos up the sooner the meme happens

You mean this http://www.schnappmedia.com/files/market/panel4.gif ?

[Major Robert Dump]

Chemicals, use them.

Must be careful, though, lest they crawl under the house and die and cause a literal stink that may be impossible to find without a trained dog. Even with a trained dog, the carcass could posion the dog.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Get'em before they get too big.

[Populus Romanus]

Crush rat poison tablets and sprinkle the powder all over the mouse. Then let it go. If all goes well, it will head straight to it comrades, and will end up poisoning them all. If all does not go well, the rat hides in your food cupboard, you get poisoned and die, and the rats eat you. Could work quite well, though.

[Cute Wolf]

well, bought some cage trap, and capture his comrades as well, afterall, sold them... (to some neighbour's kids)

[G. Septimus]

well, bought some cage trap, and capture his comrades as well, afterall, sold them... (to some neighbour's kids)

I think there are some Animal Selling rights. but, people will get fun anyway

[Cute Wolf]

I think there are some Animal Selling rights. but, people will get fun anyway

well, for $0.5 each, it will make kids happy

[PanzerJaeger]

Well his name is Squirtle and he will be spared.

He already lets me pick him up and stuff... amazingly tame for a wild animal!

[Fisherking]

It is great that he/she is not an attack squirrel.

They can be very dangerous for small animals.

Those teeth are sharp.

Of course maybe it is waiting for the right moment to strike...

[gaelic cowboy]

Be careful of rabies Panzer

[Megas Methuselah]

I'm curious to see how this boils out. I returned home recently to find that an unknown creature has eaten away the heat and air tubing under my house after chewing through the outside barrier by the air conditioner. It makes lots of noise at night, and stays right under my bedroom, sounds like it is trying to come through the floor after me. I'm trying to avoid crawling down there with a buckshot pistol, but so far all other options have failed.

You could call some rednecks. They love to eat squirrels.

Welcome home, bro.