Got groped by TSA 15 min ago.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Didn't come up with any clever one liners.

dude tried to tell me them scanners are safe because we got bombarded everyday by background radiation.

give me some one liners for the TSA agent next time. gotta go, flght taking off right now.

[HoreTore]

He actually used the word "bombarded"....?

Classic.

[Scienter]

Didn't come up with any clever one liners.

dude tried to tell me them scanners are safe because we got bombarded everyday by background radiation.

give me some one liners for the TSA agent next time. gotta go, flght taking off right now.

You could say, "aren't you going to buy me dinner first?"

[Centurion1]

i dont usually go this far on the first date

[Hosakawa Tito]

I doubt you'll come up with any they haven't heard before.

[ajaxfetish]

I doubt you'll come up with any they haven't heard before.

Depends how hard you try. Maybe, "I haven't felt this horny since I licked my own nipples back on the escalator."

Ajax

[Strike For The South]

start crying

[Louis VI the Fat]

I always stick a few kinder suprises up me rear as a gift for their children.

[Crazed Rabbit]

So do you need a bachelor's degree in molestation to get this job, or will an associate's degree in groping work?

CR

[Gregoshi]

"May I see your boarding pass?"

"Would you handcuff me first? Then spank me and tell me what a dirty boy I've been?"

"You're much better than my girlfriend."

I'm not responsible for any repurcussions you may suffer from using my lines.

[Ronin]

"that is not a flash light in my pocket"
"my safe-word is blue-dolphin ok?"
"can you talk dirty to me?"

at the end of the patdown:
"ohh come on don´t leave me like this...can´t you finish me off"?

like Gregoshi said....use at your own risk

[Samurai Waki]

"That's right Mr. Giraffe. Find all the marmalade."
"Shouldn't we have a glass of wine and whisper sweet nothings first?"
"Would you mind checking under my Penis as well? I've got an itch and it's been driving me crazy."

[Fragony]

Don't say anything and pretend you enjoy it, but not too obviously. Much creepier. Or pray ' lord relieve me of these sinful thoughts don't let satan tempt me' just audible so they can't be sure they are supposed to hear it.

[Shaka_Khan]

I had a woman TSA do it to me before.

[edyzmedieval]

Asking an internet forum focused on war games about one liners yields some really unique results.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Speaking from 28 years of experience working jail; I'd say the percentage of TSA officers that enjoy doing pat frisks is much lower than the people who enjoy receiving them.

[Tellos Athenaios]

But what of the percentage of people who actively resent it? Anyway, if you are good with the “magic” tricks you can have a lot more quality fun with the hapless TSA officer.

[Reenk Roink]

Joking would be a good thing here. It's obviously a terribly awkward situation and as Hosa said, they likely hate it as much as you, so you might as well try and inject a bit of humor. Just don't take it too far and start talking about their wives or mamas of course.

[Fragony]

Speaking from 28 years of experience working jail; I'd say the percentage of TSA officers that enjoy doing pat frisks is much lower than the people who enjoy receiving them.

Sooooooooooooo stories plz. How was your first pervert.

[Hosakawa Tito]

I always stick a few kinder suprises up me rear as a gift for their children.

Hehehe, those wouldn't be found during a pat-down. You're gonna have to show off your charms in a body scan, then submit to a strip frisk/cavity search when they discover your secret toybox. Tell'em everybody needs a hobby.

Sooooooooooooo stories plz. How was your first pervert.

Those stories will have to be for a different time & thread. What I'd like to know is if ACIN opted for the pat-down instead of the body scan, and if so, why?

[Scienter]

start crying

Good one!

I'd be slightly tempted to fake an orgasm like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. Then I remember that I don't like the idea of being arrested and/or ending up on YouTube.

[Fragony]

Those stories will have to be for a different time & thread.

Don't tempt me into making a thread '28 years later: AssgropetheList Now'

[Strike For The South]

grope back

[drone]

Ask him if he knows how many sieverts he's taking in each day standing near the pr0noscope.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

So do you need a bachelor's degree in molestation to get this job, or will an associate's degree in groping work?

CR

Nope, just your union card.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

Joking would be a good thing here. It's obviously a terribly awkward situation and as Hosa said, they likely hate it as much as you, so you might as well try and inject a bit of humor. Just don't take it too far and start talking about their wives or mamas of course.

Jesting aside, this is probably spot on.

[Major Robert Dump]

Before I get to the front of the line, I discreetly unzip my pants and have my penis hanging out, as if its an accident. Then when they go to frisk me, we are both like OMGZ OOPSIE. That's how I met Fred, and he is an awesome lover except when I say "that sex was the bomb" then he kicks the crap out of me but I am kind of into that.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Now we know what to do.