Serious health question

[LeftEyeNine]

No but like mine don't smell at all, not even the people in the office can smell them. When I walk by the Colonels desk I crop dust like every morning. I do it my the gymbag roid freak who benches with his head next to my butt while I am doing my old fat guy yoga. I fart in the dining facility, in the mrap, on the helicopter. I fart when I haven't showered in 6 days. I fart right before a trip to the bathroom. No smell. No one smells anything, even when I fake and say "whats that smell?" they are all like "wot?"

So I am inclined to believe that my body is operating in its most optimal of my entire life because my farts have not smelled in over 2 months now.

Wow.

I envy the liberty.

[A Nerd]

You need to eat more vegetables. That should help.

[Samurai Waki]

You need to eat more vegetables. That should help.

I don't know... if you want them to stink, you should eat more red meat and drink more beer-- if you can't gag maggots then, I don't know if there is an easy solution.

[Fragony]

I think it's just the barracks smelling worse, as nobody smells good

[Drunk Clown]

Why are some people even giving serious answers?

[Centurion1]

i knew this wasnt serious when

a. I saw MRD made the thread

b. It said serious

[Andres]

Why are some people even giving serious answers?

Because this is a Serious (tm) thread

[drone]

From wiki:

The gas released during a flatus event frequently has an unpleasant odor. For many years, this was thought to be due to skatole and indole, which are byproducts of the digestion of meat. However, gas chromatography testing in 1984 revealed that sulfur-containing compounds, such as methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg smell) and dimethyl sulfide, were also[2] responsible for the smell.[3]

The incidence of odoriferous compounds in flatulence emissions increases from herbivores, such as cattle, through omnivores to carnivorous species[citation needed]. Such odor can also be caused by the presence of large numbers of microflora bacteria and/or the presence of feces in the rectum.

skatole - "It occurs naturally in feces (it is produced from tryptophan in the mammalian digestive tract)", same with indole
methanethiol - "It occurs naturally in certain foods, such as some nuts and cheese. It is also one of the main chemicals responsible for bad breath and the smell of flatus."

If you have cut back on meat, nuts, and cheese, that may explain it.

[TheLastDays]

Why are some people even giving serious answers?

[Kralizec]

I don't know... if you want them to stink, you should eat more red meat and drink more beer-- if you can't gag maggots then, I don't know if there is an easy solution.

True. Few things smell as bad as a fart after a night of drinking.