Table for One

[Lemur]

All I can think of is incentives; in other words, pairing up and being social is natural, like you said, so there must be incentives and disincentives driving people to singledom in Japan. Maybe high cost of moving/shacking up/making a home? Maybe bad social habits for how men treat women who are now too educated to put up with bum deals? I don't know. But you can bet your banana that there are incentives at work here. Just don't know what they are.

[Strike For The South]

All I can think of is incentives; in other words, pairing up and being social is natural, like you said, so there must be incentives and disincentives driving people to singledom in Japan. Maybe high cost of moving/shacking up/making a home? Maybe bad social habits for how men treat women who are now too educated to put up with bum deals? I don't know. But you can bet your banana that there are incentives at work here. Just don't know what they are.

Late marrige and small families are hallmarks of post industrialized nations but 1/4 of people aren't even looking, these numbers just seem so staggering. Something is it a play here I just can't put my finger on it

I thought about Japan being unuiqe as one the few Non-Western Post indusrials, I am vaguley familiar with the culture their and I know their are differences but this stats couple with, lets be frank, the absolutely depraved pornography that comes out go hand in hand IMO

[Lemur]

[T]his stats couple with, lets be frank, the absolutely depraved pornography that comes out go hand in hand IMO

If you want to assert a connection between tentacle porn and chronic singledom, I'm all ears. But correlation is not causation, like the man says.

[Strike For The South]

If you want to assert a connection between tentacle porn and chronic singledom, I'm all ears. But correlation is not causation, like the man says.

I wish I could! I understand that the culture is different but the rates are skyrocketting in the country itself so there has to be something driving it. Hence opening it up to the peanut gallery

[Ja'chyra]

Maybe people are happier in their own company and don't feel the need to bow to social pressure to be part of a couple any more.

A bit like people saying that marriages used to last longer in the old days, anyone tied that up with the difference in the amount of happy people between then and now? What would you prefer married and miserable or single and content, if not happy?

Oh, I'm not single, did I just spoil my own argument?

[Tellos Athenaios]

@Strike, Lemur: writing has been on the wall for some time now. For instance, increasingly divorces happen when the couple retires from working life, i.e. when they are actually forced to spend some time together.

Furthermore, Japan has a culture where people seek relief/comfort in clubs rather than in relationship which in a striking example of gender equality now includes women as well; combined with a culture which finds it fairly normal that middle aged people still live at their parents'.

So, for instance, you have a large and growing population of well-educated, high earning women for whom it is altogether much less bother (and sometimes even cheaper) simply to hire someone from a club to accompany on a day of shopping, dinning, and a night out rather than seek a partner. For men the hiring bit was always the case and often the norm, anyway. Corporate culture was/is such that if a hosting company books you a hotel room you might well be visited by an (already paid for) escort as well.

Additionally, you still have the older model of the loveless marriage which their parents are stuck with the old social inequalities and traps. There's a sentiment of “no, thanks” there.

[Beskar]

I believe there was something about the very high expecations of the Japanese Women excludes the vast majority of men, causing very high rates of being single.

[Tellos Athenaios]

I believe there was something about the very high expecations of the Japanese Women excludes the vast majority of men, causing very high rates of being single.

Possibly, but at the core one of the preconditions is quite simple really, and applies in Japan, China, and to some extent pretty much anywhere actually: do you have your own place? If yes that is an instant boost in appeal, if no you better had something really special going for you.

That is why Chinese men for instance accept very bad living and working conditions: to save up enough to buy that property. Otherwise, they believe, she will never consider them.

[drone]

It's obvious, really. The Japanese have secretly perfected sex robots.

[Papewaio]

This is a world wide phenomenon with very few exceptions people in cities have less children.

Couple of key factors:
Cost of housing. Unless you are comfortable living under the same roof as your in laws then you need your own place to be attractive to a mate.
Competition... And this is one of the factors that apply to countryside is TVs show idealistic lifestyles that people attempt to have. Soaps in rural India have dropped birth rates as women (and men) desire the good life.

Education. Higher educated women have less children. They also normally have to pay for that education. Meaning they start work later in life and work longer. They then expect a partner who is equal or better.

All cities are showing a slowing down of birth rates. Cities are energy efficient, vibrant, dangerous and exciting... Who needs kids? Becomes the norm. Japan is just one of the countries at the leading edge of this trend. Which as a high density (expensive housing), highly educated workforce who are focused on continous improvent fit the bill for reduced birth rates.

So do EU cities, look at the birth rates in Italy for instance. I'm even sure Greek cities have a declining birth rates.

[classical_hero]

It's obvious, really. The Japanese have secretly perfected sex robots.

[Ronin]

Story of my life! I keep asking, but Jessica Alba just won't go on a date with me.

have you considered Mila Kunis?
very sexy..and apparently you can get away with just asking.

[Montmorency]

That is why you Chinese men

Beskar is Chinese? For some reason, I thought he was Polish.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Beskar is Chinese? For some reason, I thought he was Polish.

No, that was merely an unfortunate collision of two sentences I thought I had edited out properly.

[Husar]

But seriously, if you aren't 'getting some' on a casual basis, it gets you motivated to get out there more and look for somebody.

Well, in that case you may have married the wrong partner, a person who loves you would naturally want to make sure you're 'getting enough', wouldn't they?

A lot of men complain that they stopped 'getting any' after marriage and use that as a reason to decry marriage. I usually think their marriage is probably based on the wrong ideas/things, whatever those are, sex could be one, money another.

There are also men who keep saying they only get manipulative women etc. but they keep looking for women in the same places and for the same types of women that may attract them more physically. IMO it's no surprise then that they keep having the same problems with women.

And then men and women also create bubbles,just making themselves look better or even lying about things, being especially charming etc. that will naturally burst after a while and only serve for initial attraction.
Necessary in a way but if it's completely overdone and you base a relationship on it, failure may be pre-programmed.

Just my two cents from an observer's POV.

[a completely inoffensive name]

1. People don't know what they want in a partner and no one teaches them the tools to figure it out.
2. Our culture glorifies not being steady, not being with just one person.
3. People don't know what love is or how much work it takes to keep it going.
4. The current fight over what marriage is or isn't between same sex couples that are obviously in love and religious regressives who want to keep the definition pinned to the time period they feel comfortable with makes the entire institution seem more arbitrary to the youth.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Sex education in schools pretty much encourages everybody to run around having sex for fun.

This takes away a pretty big incentive to get married that people with more traditional values have.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Sex education in schools pretty much encourages everybody to run around having sex for fun.

This takes away a pretty big incentive to get married that people with more traditional values have.

I see nothing wrong with people having sex for fun as long as they understand the value of having a partner. I don't think that sex should be an incentive to get married in the first place. The incentive of marriage should be to have your love legally declared and recorded and to make a (theoretically) lifelong bond with another person. Sex shouldn't be entering your mind at all in that spot.

[Rhyfelwyr]

The incentive of marriage should be to have your love legally declared and recorded and to make a (theoretically) lifelong bond with another person. Sex shouldn't be entering your mind at all in that spot.

Really? I've heard a lot of people say they wouldn't marry someone they hadn't had sex with because they don't know if they would be 'compatible'. I know you are more 'liberal' so would you share that sentiment?

I don't see how you can separate marriage and sex.

It is a well documented fact that ignorance increases the likelyhood of teenage pregnancy.

Yeah, the only thing that increases it more is sex.

Sex education may not drastically reduce the incidences of underage sex by any means, but the education about how to deal with the consequences is absolutely vital.

I am alright with teaching people about contraception etc. What I don't like is that (in the UK education system at least) morals were also brought into it and kids were told to believe that having pre-marital sex is OK.