I have it.
I'll keep it short. My girlfriend (of over an year) and I ran into her ex around two months back. She's not on friendly terms with him, but she likes to be polite so there was some small talk, and he cracked a joke about 'some night back then', after which she led me away. I am a curious person, specially when it comes to her, and a few evenings later while I was having a drink with her I asked her as to what exactly was her ex referring to. Now one thing about her that I like is that she's always honest with me. Brutally honest. She was a little tipsy and I was treated to a very graphic account of what her ex had been talking about.
Since then I've not been able to get the images out of my head. I talked to her about it a few times afterwards and she was a little surprised, but tried to help me out by listening. Did not help. I went to a common friend who majored in psychology and talked to him about it and he asked me to write down all the times I thought about things and write letter to my future self and what not. None of that helped. He finally told me that if it was just about forgetting what I'd learned there was no full proof way and only time would help me do that.
But it's been over two months. I no longer feel as though my head will explode every time I think about it, but I'm not OK either.
All this really has no bearing on how I feel about her or on my future with her. The only problem is that it's become like this poisonous thing stuck in my head which I cannot push out. I am at my wit's end and I cannot figure out how to deal with it. Any and all suggestions would be appreciated.
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