Ze Germans, of course.

Groups Round16 Quarterfinals Semifinals Finals Semifinals Quarterfinals Round16 Groups
Tiebreakers:
1: Total Goals Scored in Tournament (not including shootout PKs): 136+18+5+8+4=171
2: Total Number of Red Cards (straight up or 2 yellows) in Tournament: 11
3: Golden Boot winner: Rodriguez
4: Wooden Spoon "winner": Cameroon
5: Number of delayed game starts caused by unprepared sites:0

Point totals for the entries:
Ishmael: 9+8+12+12+12+12+16+16+32+0= 129
Gaius Scribonius Curio: 9+9+8+8+12+12+8+8+32+0=106
The Stranger: 11+10+8+8+12+12+8+8+0+0=77
Shaka Khan: 12+11+10+10+8+8+8+8+0+0=75
drone: 9+6+8+8+12+12+8+8+0+0=71
GeneralHankerchief: 9+9+10+10+8+8+0+0+0+0=54
naut: 9+5+8+6+8+8+0+0+0+0=44

Ishmael gets bragging rights for the next four years, congrats!