Oh, here's the article about the Catholic Church backing Darwin: Evolution in the Bible Says Vatican. I bet Robertson and Falwell say bad things about Catholic "idolaters" when they get together to give each other their weekly hot oil rubdowns.

Nice thing about Catholicism: They've learned to take the long view of things and roll with the punches. Plus, their schools usually provide a pretty decent education.

As for natural disasters, what the heck do you suppose the people in that Indiana trailer park did? Must have been pretty bad. LINK

Ah, I just figured it out. Sixty percent of them voted for Bush in the 2004 election. LINK I bet if we correlated natural disasters by state with the results of the 2004 election we'd have clear proof that my theory explains things better than Pat Robertson's.

Yes, I've just looked at the list of FEMA Major Disaster Declarations for 2005. I've calculated that in 2005, on the 40 occasions when God chose to smite the United States with a Major Disaster, only 8 smitings occurred in states that voted for John Kerry. Fully 80% of God's smitings occurred in states that went for George Bush in 2005.

Coincidence? I think not.

When you further examine the data, you find that of the 8 occasions when God targeted blue states for smiting:

* Two were in California (in retaliation for electing Arnold Schwarzenegger)
* One was in New Hampshire (the only New England state that George Bush almost carried)

Most notably, liberal Massachusetts was spared smiting despite a 2003 State Supreme Court ruling that legalized gay marriage.

Yea, verily I say unto you that God is sending a clear message that He will no longer tolerate the wickedness, depravity, and Pharisee-like tendencies of America's red states.

Furthermore, let us not forget the "Miracle of the Disappearing WMDs", and the miraculous investigation and/or indictment of everyone in the Republican party.

Blessed be the name of the Lord,

Amen