Well, tomorrow night is the night of the senior ceilidh at my school. I've hired my kilt in the Black Stewart tartan (the shop didn't have my surname's tartan, so I decided on the tartan of my middle name...), and with it the jacket, the waistcoat, the seal-skin sporran, the shirt, the bow tie, the socks, the shoes, the noticeable lack of underwear, flashes, and a handy knife (sgian dubh).

The knife, unfortunately, is plastic. While it is probably illegal to hire a real knife, it is perfectly legal to have a sharp, real knife in the attire as long as it is tucked into the sock where it should be and in a sheath.

So, tomorrow night, I shall be dancing the St Bernard's Waltz, the Gay Gordons, the Dashing White Seargent, and countless others. Then a night on the town drinking cognac and fine Scottish Whisky until midnight (not too late, I have school the next day...) with a plethora of drunken Scots, all in kilts.

Do the other honorable gentlemen of the Org have such dances soon?