...A Little Scared

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Good luck mate, best wishes.

[Reverend Joe]

Listen, man, you be goddamned careful. Look deep inside your psyche, and decide whether you really want to have the kid, or whether people are just pressuring you two into it. You are your own, man, and you make your own decisions.

If, of course, you really do want to have the kid, fine. No problem. But if you (and ESPECIALLY if your girlfriend) are being pressured into it- don't do it. These things have consequences, and they will come to light, sooner or later, one way or another.

Again, if you do want to have the kid, don't be pressured out of it, especially not by someone like me. Have him/her, take damn good care of the kid, and for god's sake, if it's a girl, keep her the hell away from people like me.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Congratulations!

You are a good man, and I know you will do well.

God Bless,
Crazed Rabbit

[Divinus Arma]

I'm glad to hear abortion is out of the question.

That is a human being you have there. Adoption is fine, but abortion? That's a person dude. So good choice to the both of you.

As a father-to-be myself, I can never again say that abortion is acceptable unless very very very serious birth defects are present.

That said, ya. You are pretty screwed. Don't marry her. Dating for six months? You'll regret it. She's just a lay at six months. You won't even begin to really know each for at least another 2 years.

Trust me. I got married at 20.

(and we are still married, many years later)

Luckily we shared similar views in politics, role realtionships, and religion. It would have been bad otherwise.

I would say skip marriage for now and get to know each other. You can still have the benefits of father hood without the emotional attachment to the mother.

It is better to start off divorced than end up divorced. ya know?

[Papewaio]

I was two weeks short of thirty when I got married, while my brother was 23 and got married last year. He is the more emotionally mature of the two of us. So don't worry too much about your age or even politics... having differences is afterall what being men and women is and is fun too... just make sure that you learn to argue, learn more about each other and keep your partner interested by keeping to learn new things. Learning is life and life is learning.

BTW Do some of the domesitc chores... if for only selfish reasons.

[Strike For The South]

You are a good man Wazhaski. Many others wouldve cut and run

[IrishArmenian]

If your parents are relgious conservatives, bring a couple of your biggest, most trustworthy and heaviest armed comrades to 'accompany' you while you tell your parents about it. One of the most important things about this is you are not skipping town, which is a good sign. You will need a lot of help from your parents seeing as you will probably not have as much time on your hands. I would probably, while your girl friend is pregnant, listen to what she says (or sometimes, if you really cannot, pretend to) go through your stuff so you can sell what you don't want or need anymore (make room and money), or box up what you love but you are afraid your girlfriend will sell/give away (instruments, other sentimental items). I can tell you will make a good father, and I would advise you to really, really kiss your girlfriend's a$$ a couple of times, because she is probably going through a whole lot of problems right now. I know a lot about this because I had to help my brother with a whole lot of this stuff. I actually had to restrain my father from hitting him.
Krazilec, that could be me next, but I will be married so I do not have to ward off angry parents.

[doc_bean]

Wakizashi, you seem to have recovered well from the initial shock and are ready making plans for the future. Nice to see you handling it so well. I wouldn't marry ehr right away if I was you, it will imho always feel like a 'shotgun wedding', adn you do only knwo eachother for six months, and planning a wedding is additional stress, which you surely don't want. Wait a few years, once you both get settled in your new life you can probably make the wedding much more satisfying for yourselves.

I would probably, while your girl friend is pregnant, listen to what she says

Otherwise you just ignore what your wife/girlfriend says ?

Krazilec, that could be me next, but I will be married so I do not have to ward off angry parents.

Good luck with that !

[Divinus Arma]

BTW Do some of the domesitc chores... if for only selfish reasons.

The male has the following obligations:

Work your ****ing tail off to proivide the best possible life for your family.

BBQ in the summer.

Mow the lawn when it starts to piss off the neighbors..

Put up the xmas lights in November/take down xmas lights in July.

Take the trash out to the curb each week, unless you forget, which is acceptable every other week or every week if you work more than 60 hrs per week.

Manage ALL finances and refuse to give the wife any money unless she asks you for it each and every time. Give her an allowance twice as large as that which you give yourself.

All other domestic work is reserved for the woman including, but not limited to: laundry, dishes, housekeeping, child care, child clean up, flower trimming, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.




Establish these roles early and enforce them often with a reward/punishment system. You r wife will be trained in no time and appreciate the fact that you work 70 hrs a week and go to school for another 20 and have no time for anything but alcohol, the Org, and sex with her.

Heh. At least I get to sleep one day a week.

[Papewaio]

... if for only selfish reasons.

Figure that one out my learned friend.

[drone]

Put up the xmas lights in November/take down xmas lights in July.

Crap, I'll have to take them down in July? That sucks...

Congrats, Wakizashi. You definitely seem to be handling this situation well, probably better than I would. If you have decided to keep the baby (sounds like you have), this is your main responsibility, regardless of your feelings towards your girlfriend. A loving environment is very important for the child.

To me, the whole point of marraige is to provide a stable family for children. People say that marraige is a sacred institution, that's not true, especially with today's divorce rates. Having and raising a child is the sacred institution, marraige is just a legal means to that end.

And I will continue to spout that for as long as my girlfriend lets me before she drops the ultimatum.

[Avicenna]

The male has the following obligations:

Work your ****ing tail off to proivide the best possible life for your family...alcohol, the Org, and sex with her.

A sound plan

[Samurai Waki]

So Today's update. I guess it kind of hit me a little hard yesterday evening, and I actually (for the first time in a VERY long time) attended morning mass and quietly prayed that all would go well, and that I would need as much strength as possible to get through this all, for me, but more importantly for her. The peculiar thing is that I never once asked for this not to be so. I guess, I'm not really a religious person, but doing a little soul searching once in awhile is good way to find your center and instead of being sullen and reserved all day, I figured it would be better just to get it out of my system for Amy's sake.
So We're going out for dinner and a movie tonight, and I've also signed up to take Judo every Tuesday and Thursday evening starting in mid-July. (Thank You Papewaio-Sama ). I'm really more concerned for right now for her than me, but I want to prepare myself for whatever may come as early as I possibly can.
We're also not entirely sure that we want to raise our Child is South California (for fairly obvious reasons) so we've been discussing moving somewhere a little more secure.