...A Little Scared

[Divinus Arma]

BTW Do some of the domesitc chores... if for only selfish reasons.

The male has the following obligations:

Work your ****ing tail off to proivide the best possible life for your family.

BBQ in the summer.

Mow the lawn when it starts to piss off the neighbors..

Put up the xmas lights in November/take down xmas lights in July.

Take the trash out to the curb each week, unless you forget, which is acceptable every other week or every week if you work more than 60 hrs per week.

Manage ALL finances and refuse to give the wife any money unless she asks you for it each and every time. Give her an allowance twice as large as that which you give yourself.

All other domestic work is reserved for the woman including, but not limited to: laundry, dishes, housekeeping, child care, child clean up, flower trimming, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.




Establish these roles early and enforce them often with a reward/punishment system. You r wife will be trained in no time and appreciate the fact that you work 70 hrs a week and go to school for another 20 and have no time for anything but alcohol, the Org, and sex with her.

Heh. At least I get to sleep one day a week.

[Papewaio]

... if for only selfish reasons.

Figure that one out my learned friend.

[drone]

Put up the xmas lights in November/take down xmas lights in July.

Crap, I'll have to take them down in July? That sucks...

Congrats, Wakizashi. You definitely seem to be handling this situation well, probably better than I would. If you have decided to keep the baby (sounds like you have), this is your main responsibility, regardless of your feelings towards your girlfriend. A loving environment is very important for the child.

To me, the whole point of marraige is to provide a stable family for children. People say that marraige is a sacred institution, that's not true, especially with today's divorce rates. Having and raising a child is the sacred institution, marraige is just a legal means to that end.

And I will continue to spout that for as long as my girlfriend lets me before she drops the ultimatum.

[Avicenna]

The male has the following obligations:

Work your ****ing tail off to proivide the best possible life for your family...alcohol, the Org, and sex with her.

A sound plan

[Samurai Waki]

So Today's update. I guess it kind of hit me a little hard yesterday evening, and I actually (for the first time in a VERY long time) attended morning mass and quietly prayed that all would go well, and that I would need as much strength as possible to get through this all, for me, but more importantly for her. The peculiar thing is that I never once asked for this not to be so. I guess, I'm not really a religious person, but doing a little soul searching once in awhile is good way to find your center and instead of being sullen and reserved all day, I figured it would be better just to get it out of my system for Amy's sake.
So We're going out for dinner and a movie tonight, and I've also signed up to take Judo every Tuesday and Thursday evening starting in mid-July. (Thank You Papewaio-Sama ). I'm really more concerned for right now for her than me, but I want to prepare myself for whatever may come as early as I possibly can.
We're also not entirely sure that we want to raise our Child is South California (for fairly obvious reasons) so we've been discussing moving somewhere a little more secure.

[Kralizec]

Congrats dude! As it was unplanned, I wish you luck in coping with your new situation.

That's yet another Orgah becoming a parent. Who's next

[KafirChobee]

"I think God gives us children so that death won't seem such a disappointment." Evelyn (the Mom), on 2 1/2 Men

Good luck. Kiss your past life good-bye.

[IrishArmenian]

If your parents are relgious conservatives, bring a couple of your biggest, most trustworthy and heaviest armed comrades to 'accompany' you while you tell your parents about it. One of the most important things about this is you are not skipping town, which is a good sign. You will need a lot of help from your parents seeing as you will probably not have as much time on your hands. I would probably, while your girl friend is pregnant, listen to what she says (or sometimes, if you really cannot, pretend to) go through your stuff so you can sell what you don't want or need anymore (make room and money), or box up what you love but you are afraid your girlfriend will sell/give away (instruments, other sentimental items). I can tell you will make a good father, and I would advise you to really, really kiss your girlfriend's a$$ a couple of times, because she is probably going through a whole lot of problems right now. I know a lot about this because I had to help my brother with a whole lot of this stuff. I actually had to restrain my father from hitting him.
Krazilec, that could be me next, but I will be married so I do not have to ward off angry parents.

[doc_bean]

Wakizashi, you seem to have recovered well from the initial shock and are ready making plans for the future. Nice to see you handling it so well. I wouldn't marry ehr right away if I was you, it will imho always feel like a 'shotgun wedding', adn you do only knwo eachother for six months, and planning a wedding is additional stress, which you surely don't want. Wait a few years, once you both get settled in your new life you can probably make the wedding much more satisfying for yourselves.

I would probably, while your girl friend is pregnant, listen to what she says

Otherwise you just ignore what your wife/girlfriend says ?

Krazilec, that could be me next, but I will be married so I do not have to ward off angry parents.

Good luck with that !

[Samurai Waki]

I can't honestly say that I'm taking it extremely well, it's still like taking a hard punch to the jaw, it just so happens that I'm not so easy to take down. I've been depressed and angry the last couple of days, but we've opened up dialogue with each other on how we're going to handle it, it's still a lot of emotions jumbled up together, both her's and mine so we're counseling each other as best we can through it. Not too mention paranoia is still nagging at me, which is driving my anger and depression into further depths, and I don't think I'll be completely relieved until I get a full DNA test right after the birth. I've explained this too her, that it's in no way her fault for me being this way, its just six months...six months, what if she hasn't been completely honest or faithful? It's not that I don't trust her, I trust her almost implicitly, but I do suffer from paranoia disorder, and it's like even though I've locked out those feelings of distrust, it's still like they're knocking on the door and telling me to be careful. You pour everything you have into the relationship emotional wise, and you don't want to be dissapointed, sometimes you want to try and ignore the voices nagging at you in your head, but I'm someone who would rather hear the truth and be destroyed by it, then be suspicious of her and the child for the rest of my life.

[Gregoshi]

Wakizashi, you might not be taking it too well, but you seem to be handling it very well. Both of you are communicating and that is a very good thing. You also both seem to be supportive of each other and that too is a very good thing.

I don't know what to say about the paranoia. However, relationships are built on trust. Unless she gives you valid reasons not to trust her, you should ignore the paranoia as much as you are able to.

[doc_bean]

That doesn't mean he can't get a blood test though does it ?
If it would be something that reassures him and lets him better handle the situation I'd say there's nothing wrong with it imho. I'd probably get a bloodtest if my girlfriend got pregnant and we've been together for two years. She already laughed at me for suggesting that and said I should do that if I felt I needed it because it would be mine anyway.

Paranoia becomes a problem if you're constantly stalking her, have to know where she is constantly, get suspicious if she's a little late and such. Don't let it go that far Wakizashi. I'm sure she can understand your need for reassurance, after all, like you said, you've only been together for six months, and you have inherited a small fortune. Just tell her that you do thrust her but there's just this little *weird* thought in the back of your head that you know is irrational but that you'd rather eliminate than suppress.

Likewise, don't get married without a pre-nup.

[Gregoshi]

That doesn't mean he can't get a blood test though does it ?
If it would be something that reassures him and lets him better handle the situation I'd say there's nothing wrong with it imho.

No, I didn't mean not to get the blood test doc, but if I understand correctly, Wakizashi has to wait until the child is born to get the comprehensive blood test done. He's got to live through six or so months of uncertainty until then. I agree about the reassurance factor in getting the test done.

[Kagemusha]

Congratulations Wakizashi! You are taking a great step in your life and reading through your impressions on this.I think the child will have a great father.I wish you and your future family all the best for the road of life,where ever it may take you.

[naut]

You pour everything you have into the relationship emotional wise, and you don't want to be dissapointed, sometimes you want to try and ignore the voices nagging at you in your head, but I'm someone who would rather hear the truth and be destroyed by it, then be suspicious of her and the child for the rest of my life.

I can understand your need for reassurance that the child is yours, but as doc_bean said don't let it drive you to extremities. If your gut tells your the child is yours, then you should have nothing to fear as instincts are usually correct.