I have driven my little sports sedan at ridiculous speeds. There's a stretch of highway near my home that is flat, empty, and straight as an arrow. You can see any cop from a mile off. Once I wondered to myself, What would this car feel like at 100 miles per hour? That was fun. Later on I got to thinking, What would this car feel like at 110 miles per hour? That was even more fun.

I've only gotten one speeding ticket, and that was largely because I was sick, not paying attention to anything but staying on the road, and didn't see the state trooper making his quota. The fine was so absurdly high that it made sense to engage a lawyer to bat the ticket away.

Lawyers. They're possibly an even lower life-forms than politicians, but they have their uses. I just wouldn't want my daughter dating one. And I wouldn't want one living in my neighborhood. Frankly, I'd prefer it if they didn't live in my town. Useful, but scummy.