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Thread: Collateral Masturbation?

  1. #1

    Default Collateral Masturbation?

    Is gots no links for this one, unless you all want the link to my local metal community's page, but one of the members got an email with some unconfirmed statistics in it.

    Anyway, they are as follows: Annually, any given person will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated, but neglected to wash their hands. The same applies to shaking hands with men, but for only 6 unwashed hands per year. In any given day, you will also come into indirect contact with 15 penises.

    It was too good not to share.

  2. #2
    Darkside Medic Senior Member rory_20_uk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    I feel that you're stretching the Backroom's any topic stance...

    I'm doing Obs and Gynae at the moment. Draw your own conclusions.

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  3. #3
    Savior of Peasant Phill Member Silver Rusher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?



    Do the words family forum ring a bell?

    Anyway, those statistics are a little frightening but I can't say I'm surprised.
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  4. #4
    Arbeit macht fleisch Member ScionTheWorm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    I can't see how people come into inderect contact with 15 penises a day, unless you are using a puclib bathroom 15 times. I can only speak for myself, but I do not tend to rub it where people are likely to but their hands.

  5. #5
    RIP Tosa, my trolling end now Senior Member Devastatin Dave's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    No wonder my hand got all pimply when I shook hands with the priest at my buddy's wedding.
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  6. #6
    I too am a Member Masy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    So women are more dirty than men? Surprising, seeing as they take so darned long in the washroom...
    Last edited by Masy; 07-18-2006 at 20:28.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Wow thats interesting Gorebag
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  8. #8
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Masy
    So women are more dirty than men? Surprising, seeing as they take so darned long in the washroom...
    Well, the end result of male masturbation kind of forces the guy to wash his hands, and also limits the locations where he can do it (assuming the man has any shame or manners at all). It's not as obvious with women, plus they can do it pretty much anywhere.
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  9. #9

    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Masy
    So women are more dirty than men? Surprising, seeing as they take so darned long in the washroom...

    While at the university i had to work to pay the rent, so i did various job. One of the worst was doing the cleaning in a bar at 5 am. I wont go into details but you wouldnt believe what i saw into the ladies bathroom. It seem every evening/morning had a new surprise. The guys toilet was dirty, but from broken glass and beer on floor. Now the ladies room was disgusting. I wont generalize, but women under influence are definitly more dirty than men.


    gah !?!

  10. #10
    Ambiguous Member Byzantine Prince's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Everything has nasty germs. I don't see what makes a hand that just came out of a healthy vagina any more disgusting than touching the handle bar on the train or the computer mouse (really nasty).

    Quote Originally Posted by GoreBag
    In any given day, you will also come into indirect contact with 15 penises.


    "Indirect contact" sounds like an oxymoron, but I think I know what you mean. Again, depends on who's penis we're talking about.

  11. #11
    Sovereign Oppressor Member TIE Fighter Shooter Champion, Turkey Shoot Champion, Juggler Champion Kralizec's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    I heard this one before and I thought it was pretty well established as an urban legend.

  12. #12
    I too am a Member Masy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    In any given day, you will also come into indirect contact with 15 penises.
    I missed this bit when I first read the thread, what on earth do you mean? Like, touching a man's hand after he has visited the toilet or standing really close to another man, like say being squashed in a tube carriage?
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  13. #13

    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Masy
    I missed this bit when I first read the thread, what on earth do you mean?
    I feel like I'm already at my job. "I'm sorry, I can't explain the statement."

    I can only assume it would be touching something (say, a doorknob or the button in an elevator) after a man touched his dangly parts and then proceeded to touch said object without cleaning his hands.

  14. #14
    I too am a Member Masy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    I can only assume it would be touching something (say, a doorknob or the button in an elevator) after a man touched his dangly parts and then proceeded to touch said object without cleaning his hands.
    Yeah, I can see the reasoning behind the statement. Coins, for instance: how many sets of hands have they passed through since they were minted? I've caught myself on a number of occasions putting a pound coin on my lips absent mindedly... it's probably not best to think about eh?
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  15. #15
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Masy
    Yeah, I can see the reasoning behind the statement. Coins, for instance: how many sets of hands have they passed through since they were minted? I've caught myself on a number of occasions putting a pound coin on my lips absent mindedly... it's probably not best to think about eh?
    I shouldn't worry. When approximately 80% of household dust is made up of dead people* a few dirty coins pales into insignificance.

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  16. #16
    I too am a Member Masy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Argh! Fecal pellets! I'm getting itchy all over...
    "Once upon a time, on the internet there was a guy, a very deeply flawed man, they called him Eric Bauman..." -www.ebaumsworldsucks.com

  17. #17

    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    cool stuff, always good to know
    Now, if I'm counted in those statistics, considering I rarely shake hands with anybody, that must mean that most of the people I do meet and shake hands with are a bunch of jerk-offs!
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  18. #18

    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    very interesting. and weird. (in a sick way)

  19. #19

    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Quote Originally Posted by drone
    It's not as obvious with women, plus they can do it pretty much anywhere.
    thats true. they could do it in a elevator with people. if they ask she will say im reachin for my key. if they ask why is she moaning she will say im takin it out of my...... well you know.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Quote Originally Posted by rory_20_uk
    I feel that you're stretching the Backroom's any topic stance...

    I'm doing Obs and Gynae at the moment. Draw your own conclusions.

    Interesting. Do you obtain informed consent for your mandatory 10 or so pelvics to complete your rotation?

  21. #21
    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Collateral Masturbation?

    Latex gloves, check.
    Mop, check.
    Letter to send samples to posters, check.

    Thread closed due to being and not PG worthy or in the backroom at least intellectually stimulating, which is the only reason some non-PG threads are not closed. Mind you if enough people want it reopened it shall be... it has skirted being outright offensive, just :vomit:

    (hey I think I found a reason to close the conservative club... mind you it is more a collective mastication).
    Last edited by Papewaio; 07-19-2006 at 02:07.
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