I can see it now...

MAN ALMOST KILLS WIFE IN COPYCAT OF VIOLENT MEDIEVAL VIDEO GAME
A reclusive, spotty and anti social youth, Mr caravel 92, almost decapitated his entire family while demonstrating the infamous 'mortal kombat' style "finishing moves" with a plastic spoon and plate. Police believe that caravel was attempting to emulate a 'viking huscarle' (one of the violent characters from the game "Medieval 2 Total War") when he almost grazed his pet rat's left ear with the blunt side of the spoon. Police arrived at the house during the early hours of the morning (as they usually do) and laid siege. Chief Inspector Plod repeatedly asked Caravel to "put the spoon down and let's talk". Witnesses reported not alot of blood and no scenes of sickening slaughter. Caravel was charged with 1 counts of using a plastic spoon to commit a finishing move act, 2 counts of posessing violent video games involving little men with swords and 1 count of wasting police time. Judge Mr Somebody, prosecuting, said that Mr Caravel had caused 'untold damage' and that he would go to jail for a 'very long time' adding that 50 life sentances were simply not enough, but the Blair government's barmy laws had tied his hands. A neighbour, that does not wish to be identified, commented earlier today "when will these sickening perverted games be banned? The streets aren't safe, you never know when you'll come up against a load of those bedouin camels and a 4 star general...