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  1. 09-15-2006, 16:20 #1
    Banquo's Ghost
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    Default Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    It's been slow on the creative headline front this week, but here's a new favourite.

    Sonic pin ball

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    By Lester Haines
    Published Friday 15th September 2006 11:34 GMT

    A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.

    You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."

    We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners."

    On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns." ®


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  2. 09-15-2006, 16:36 #2
    Ronin
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    Talking Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    remember kids.....

    when It comes to hedgehogs......

    No really means NO!

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  3. 09-15-2006, 16:40 #3
    Vladimir
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    Ooo-E ooo-ahah, ting tang (walawala bing bang). Ooo-e ooo-ahah ting tang walawala bing bang.

    Edit: Had to clean up the language, don't want a warning you know.
    Last edited by Vladimir; 09-15-2006 at 16:49.


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  4. 09-15-2006, 16:57 #4
    KukriKhan
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon..."
    And me, fresh out. One wonders if ocelot spleen extract is a viable substitute for powder?
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  5. 09-15-2006, 17:22 #5
    drone
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    I think the witchdoctor meant he should hang out with this guy.
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  6. 09-15-2006, 17:30 #6
    Sasaki Kojiro
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    There are licenced witchdoctors? Who knew.
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  7. 09-16-2006, 08:13 #7
    Pannonian
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    Do they sell Pratchett novels in Serbia?
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  8. 09-16-2006, 08:16 #8
    Strike For The South
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    wait....this is odd?
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  9. 09-16-2006, 08:21 #9
    CountArach
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    Default Re: Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

    lol, that story is just so... awesome? Is that the right word...
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