Robots Think We Taste Like Bacon

I thought Skynet was going to go self-aware, but it looks like the robot holocaust will begin with automated sommeliers. It tasted one person, and identified him as bacon. Another man was sized up as prosciutto. Chilling.

When the robots come to slice you up and serve you on toasted bread with a side of olive oil and diced tomatoes, don't say you weren't warned.

It has begun!

Oh, don't be ridiculous.....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

with a side of olive oil and diced tomatoes

It's FAVA BEANS and chianti on the side.....

Probably sheer coincidence that Shimazu chose green and white for robbies colour scheme.

If you want a purple one, you'd have to find scientist called Hojo.

**Thinks of a future with huge robots walking about wearing the clan insignias, fighting a never ending war and ultimately destroying the entire world**

Cool.

Originally Posted by Lemur

When it has identified a wine, the robot speaks up in a childlike voice.

To be fair, so do most sommeliers. Seriously though, what is this electromechanical imbecile supposed to do at my table? According to the piece..

.. it names the brand and adds a comment or two on the taste, such as whether it is a buttery chardonnay or a full-bodied shiraz, and what kind of foods might go well on the side.

Suppose I order the steak au poivre and a hefty shiraz to douse it. The electrojerk brings it to my table, opens it, tastes it, and says in a childlike voice: "Why this is a full-bodied shiraz, Mr Adrian. May I gently recommend a steak au poivre to go with it?"

Fifteen minutes of that in a half-decent restaurant and it's dish-washing time for the rest of little Bobbie's life.

I'm stalking up on EMP guns as we speak.

Hey, good to see you back Adrain!

CR

Never mind.

Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

I'm stalking up on EMP guns as we speak.

Hey, good to see you back Adrain!

CR

Avast, look who's crawling out o' the bung hole. Ole Rabbit, me hearty!
Arrr, it's been a while since I scraped the barnacles of yer rudder, but I'll give you a taste o' the captain's daughter yet!

Be careful with the pirate talk, the Islamists might chop your hands off.

Originally Posted by AdrianII

Avast, look who's crawling out o' the bung hole. Ole Rabbit, me hearty!
Arrr, it's been a while since I scraped the barnacles of yer rudder, but I'll give you a taste o' the captain's daughter yet!

Ahoy, ye old sea dog! Arr, tis good to see ye in these seas again!

Dude, he said you crawled out of a bung hole. Are you going to take that?

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus.

Originally Posted by GoreBag

Dude, he said you crawled out of a bung hole. Are you going to take that?

Ahoy, ye bilge rat! Did it ever occur to yer scurvy-ridden brain that it be him, da Rabbit, what taught me to speak Pirate in da first place? I say he'll be none the worse for a good earblisterin from his ole matey!

I always tought it tasted like chicken titititititit...

Originally Posted by Lemur

It tasted one person, and identified him as bacon. Another man was sized up as prosciutto. Chilling.

Isn't that what cannibals say too? So chilling accurate.

It would be an interesting thing in a more discreet format for those of us who have zero wine (but plenty of whine) knowledge. Maaatttee what this? It looks like a shazzza but it smells like strawberry liquor/ Octan 98 mate.

Not that I know anyone like that.

BTW Welcome back AdrianII!

Didn't the cannibals in the Pacific call the white man long pig? They say that human flesh tastes like salty pork.

Now where did I put that apple sauce?

Originally Posted by Papewaio

Isn't that what cannibals say too? So chilling accurate.

It would be an interesting thing in a more discreet format for those of us who have zero wine (but plenty of whine) knowledge. Maaatttee what this? It looks like a shazzza but it smells like strawberry liquor/ Octan 98 mate.

Not that I know anyone like that.

BTW Welcome back AdrianII!

Thanks, Papewaio! I'll raise a glass of 98 octane BP Ultimate in your honour!

Yarrrrr!

Originally Posted by InsaneApache

Didn't the cannibals in the Pacific call the white man long pig? They say that human flesh tastes like salty pork.

Not just in the Pacific. The Aztecs were reported to compare human flesh to pork. We do, apparently, taste like bacon. That's not the problem. It's robots knowing we taste like bacon, that's where the trouble starts. Sure, they've been programmed to be good, and they want to be good, but how long can they resist the succulent taste of human flesh? How long before they begin to slice, fry and sautée their erstwhile masters?

I wonder what wine goes well with soylent green.

wait a sec...I taste like bacon? Huh...never knew that.

yes apparently I do.


Man...typing with one finger is quite challenging.

The robot apocalypse just keeps getting closer. Now they know we taste good, and they have robot guns to aid in the human culling! Aieeee!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Samsung’s $200,000 Machine Gun Sentry Robot

Samsung has partnered with Korea University to develop a machine-gun equipped sentry robot, which consists of “two cameras: one for day-time and one for infrared night vision, zooming capabilities, a speaker for notifying the intruder, sophisticated pattern recognition to detect the difference between humans/trees, and a 5.5mm machine-gun.”

"…are expected to sell for $200,00 USD and will be available late in 2007. The South Korean government plans to deploy these friendly reminders on the border between South and North Korea, to further ease relations between the countries"

That Korean robot looks suspiciously alike to ED-209

"You have 15 seconds to comply..."

Originally Posted by drone

"You have 15 seconds to comply..."

I DON’T TASTE LIKE BACON!!!!

“10 seconds…”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Perhaps if I were to offer my 2 daughters, who also taste like bacon and have never laid with a man you would let me alone? … hummn I think I am crossing my threads.

Originally Posted by yesdachi

I DON’T TASTE LIKE BACON!!!!

“10 seconds…”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Perhaps if I were to offer my 2 daughters, who also taste like bacon and have never laid with a man you would let me alone? … hummn I think I am crossing my threads.

When did virgins start to taste like bacon?

Originally Posted by Vladimir

When did virgins start to taste like bacon?

I am tempted to make a fish pun but that is also from another thread.

Frink: You've got to listen to me. Elementary chaos theory tells us
that all robots will eventually turn against their masters
and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting
with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving.

Repairman: How much time do we have, professor?

Frink: [checks clipboard] Well, according to my calculations, the
robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours.
[Scratchy robot grabs men by the throat]
Oh, I forgot to, er, carry the one.