Just in Time for Christmas: The 10 Most Dangerous Toys Ever

[Lemur]

This is good stuff. Everybody knows about lawn darts, but I particularly like the Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab for tots.

[Stig]

lol nice find, wouldn't mind having a Johnny Rep cannon tho

[DemonArchangel]

Wow. Lawn Darts. Gotta get me some.

[BigTex]

I miss lawn darts, those were fun. Nothing like seeing how far you could throw one off a hill while camping. But boy those suckers would go right through car hoods.

Suprised soft air rifles didn't at least get an honorable mention.

[yesdachi]

They should have just given lawn darts a disclaimer warning people of the hazards and kept selling them. It is impossible to find a replacement for a broken one now.

[drone]

Lawn darts ruled. We used to have contests to see who could throw them higher, which led to uncontrolled heaves and honed our trajectory guessing skills. We would also throw for distance, and as any kid will tell you, no sense in throwing and chasing, someone had to be out in the field to throw them back!

Americans are so wussy these days...

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I'm still pissed they discontinued the lego cannons that actually shot little cannon balls.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

I think dangerous toys are a good thing. They weed out the stupid kids.

[yesdachi]

I think dangerous toys are a good thing. They weed out the stupid kids.

The idea of a human sized mouse trap is very appealing to me.

[macsen rufus]

The idea of a human sized mouse trap is very appealing to me.

Yes, that's what disappointed me about the toy/game called Mousetrap

[English assassin]

Oh come on. Big up to the radioactivity lab of death, and lawn darts speak for themselves, but really, what sort of idiot kills themselves with a battlestar galactica plastic missile? Is this why I can't buy cool toys for my kids any more?

Just as well I kept all my old ones in the attic for the next generation of assassins. Anyone else remember SHADO 2?

[Rodion Romanovich]

Great find! This is something you can give your worst enemy's children

[Banquo's Ghost]

Wonderful stuff, Lemur. The write up for the Power Wheels Motor Cycle had me in stiches.

As for the Battlestar Missiles, this quote got me thinking:

After the injuries, Mattel called for consumers to participate in a "Missile Mail-In," which promised a free Hot Wheels car—a fair trade to anyone who disarmed.

Perhaps we have stumbled onto the solution for President Imadinnerjacket's ambitions?



EA, I remember the SHADO 2, but I was much more a Captain Scarlet lad. I still have my Spectrum Pursuit Vehicle in the attic somewhere.

[Lemur]

Suprised soft air rifles didn't at least get an honorable mention.

From the article: "To keep things interesting, we excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm."

But you're right, BB guns should get at least an honorable mention ...

[drone]

From the article: "To keep things interesting, we excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm."

But you're right, BB guns should get at least an honorable mention ...

Lawn darts weren't actually intended to inflict harm? I figured they were replicas of what the Irish Dartmen used in VI.

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

The U-238 lab could be combined with the lawn darts for maximum armor-piercing effectiveness...

Is it bad that laughed through that whole list?

EDIT: Their rundown of dictator fashion is as funny as it is sad.

[BigTex]

From the article: "To keep things interesting, we excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm."

But you're right, BB guns should get at least an honorable mention ...

Nothing say's friendship like a well aimed BB to their @$#.

[Lemur]

Is it bad that laughed through that whole list?

I did the same thing, as did some other Orgahs, judging from the responses. Not only are the toys mind-numbingly evil, but the writing is top-notch. Lots of great mental images, especially for that motorcycle ...

[JimBob]

Sky Dancers? My sister had those, my friends and I would steal them and battle through woods behind my house. Those things did hurt, but hell it was fun.

[Mithrandir]

Thanks Lemur, the write ups are brilliant .

[Strike For The South]

I had creepy crawlers

[Watchman]

"Lawn Darts: Practical History, Now In Your Back Yard"

[Crazed Rabbit]

Heh, my sister got number 5 - flying death wings of doom.

Crazed Rabbit

[Seamus Fermanagh]

Serious Response:

Cool toys are no longer allowed because of unlimited torts. Why bother building a toy that will get you sued for millions when you can churn out a dumb toy that will still get purchased for Christmas.


Favorite Evil Gift Toy:

Lite Brite (tm). The little plastic pins are EXACTLY the right size to lodge, point up, in my "friends" carpet -- and you just know their little "darlings" will drop a few. So not only do I make their kid smile, but I'm deploying a mini-minefield!

Toy I miss:

Suction dart guns -- and I mean the old ones, not the woosy new ones with a spring that generates 2 fps power. The old ones, if you held fire until 18" range, would leave a bright welt!

[Oaty]

I think dangerous toys are a good thing. They weed out the stupid kids.

Or it can let the stupid kids weed out the smart ones

[macsen rufus]

Seems Nintendo are having to recall loads of their stuff now, cos even with computer equipment kids are still getting logos embedded into their foreheads and losing eyes to virtual tennis rackets. Who say computer games take all the romance out of childhood

[Marshal Murat]

Especially the Red Rider with a compass in the stock. It could shoot your eye out!

Those lawn darts looked dangerous and kinda awesome.
"Hey look at these man, aren't they cool!"
"Yea, lets see if we can hit Mrs. Hendersons cat!"

There shouldn't be any capital punishment for stupidity. Just take the warning labels off everything and let the problem solve itself.

[Reverend Joe]

Why couldn't I ever use lawn darts?! And a freakin' cannon... I would have loved that!

[AntiochusIII]

Did anyone watched the ad for the cannon thing that they linked? It was *awesome.*

The best part has to be when it mentions something about how we'll all be gay.

[Husar]

Did anyone watched the ad for the cannon thing that they linked? It was *awesome.*

The best part has to be when it mentions something about how we'll all be gay.

Yes, saw it.