The room was uncomfortably cold. Winters in Bavaria were often harsh, but thick robes and plentiful fires kept the worst of it at bay; two large ones blazed in the immense hearths at either end of the hall. The walls were hung with thick tapestries which served to insulate the room from the seeping cold. Wearing two layers of wool on top of his underclothes, Maximillian Mandorf should have been comfortable, yet he felt chilled to the bone. I cannot even remember the last time I felt warm.
When he had heard that ‘Charles’ Otterbach had been appointed to Cardinal, all the joys of life had left him. Despite her deception, ‘Charles’ was a supremely holy being. The Lord must have favored her highly, to allow her to ascend to such a position despite her sex. I have defiled one of God’s chosen.
He heard the creaking steps of the household servant approaching from several rooms away; the sound delivered the message just as effectively as the man himself. When he arrived, he bowed quickly, looking to the Steward of Bavaria for permission to speak. Mandorf raised a finger.
“My Lord, she has arrived.”
Mandorf nodded and the servant exited through a small side-door. The sound of his retreat faded into the depths of the manor. The vacuum of silence filled the room. Mandorf closed his eyes and prayed. Minutes passed. His lips moved, but he did not give voice to his thoughts.
“It is good that you commune with the Lord.”
He jerked and his entire body tensed into a rigid mass. The suddenness of the unexpected comment frightened him to the core. Mandof slowly raised his eyes, fearing what he would see. Before him stood a tall, thin woman in a dark habit. He opened his mouth, but no words came.
“You do not need to speak, I am here to deliver a message from the Heavenly Father. You have sinned greatly, Steward Mandorf. You have given yourself over to the temptations of the flesh and by doing so you have fallen under the sway of Satan.”
A shiver ran through Mandorf’s body and he felt himself shrink into his chair. The woman tilted her head slightly and looked at him. A smile came over her face.
“Do not fear me, I do not bring the Inquisition to your door. The Lord grants me visions from time to time and recently I have had visions of you. He wants me to help guide you back to the light. You are a pious and worthy man, but you have lost your way.” She held out her hand.
For several moments, Mandorf didn’t move. Slowly, he slid from his chair and fell to his knees. As he crawled across the floor towards Hildegard of Bingen, he began to weep.
“You seek to uphold God’s will, yet your passion has been corrupted. You embrace violence and the pleasures of the body in place of the Word of the Lord. The Prince of Lies holds you in his grasp and if you do not escape, you shall pay for your sins for all eternity.”
Mandorf grasped Hildegard’s feet, laying his head between them. He sobbed openly. “I… I have always put the Lord foremost in my life. I wish only to do his work.”
“He knows. That is why he has sent me to you. You can be a powerful force for Christ and do much good for his people, but first you must repent. You have sinned greatly.” She reached deep into a dark sleeve and pulled out a small gilded tome. She opened it and began to read.
"God united man and woman, thus joining the strong to the weak, that each might sustain the other. But these perverted adulterers change their virile strength into perverse weakness, rejecting the proper male and female roles, and in their wickedness they shamefully follow Satan, who in his pride sought to split and divide Him Who is indivisible. They create in themselves by their wicked deeds a strange and perverse adultery, and so appear polluted and shameful in My sight. And men who touch their own genital organ and emit their semen seriously imperil their souls, for they excite themselves to distraction; they appear to Me as impure animals devouring their own whelps, for they wickedly produce their semen only for abusive pollution. When a person feels himself disturbed by bodily stimulation let him run to the refuge of continence, and seize the shield of chastity, and thus defend himself from uncleanness."
Hildegard closed the book and gazed down upon Mandorf. As he looked up into her face, the glow of the fire illuminated her from behind. The spreading light seemed to emanate from deep within her, purifying all that it touched. For the first time in weeks, Maximillian Mandorf stopped shivering. “What must I do?”
She reached down and touched his cheek. “The Lord has already told you that. You have known from the beginning that what you were doing was wrong. There is no secret to be revealed, only the path of God to be followed.” Mandorf blinked slowly, his eyes dropping back to the floor. “Stand, my child. I will help you to make yourself worthy of His love once again.”
Mandorf staggered to his feet, feeling light-headed and weak, but strangely whole. “I will do all that you say from this day forward.”
She smiled at him again. “I know you will. First, you must pay penance for your sins. Purify yourself of evil and you will be reborn. You are a slave to your flesh, so you must master your body before you can cleanse your soul. You will spend one week in contemplation of the Lord. You must fast during this time and you may drink naught but water. Three times a day I shall lead you in prayer and guidance. When we are done, you shall be a new man.” She looked deeply into his eyes, the smile fading. “Then, we shall talk of Pope Gregory.”
(OOC: My info on Hildegard von Bingen comes from the Wikipedia entry on her here. I had never heard of her before I saw her in Max’s retinue. Just goes to show that computer games can teach you a lot sometimes.)
Bookmarks