Big stories I somehow missed in 2008(I'm sure at least one of these will be reposts, but with any luck quantity will overcome quality):
Greatest Police Car Escape Ever Made by Gay Porn Star
Police arrested Taleon for possessing about a half-ounce of crack cocaine and a loaded .25-caliber automatic handgun. While handcuffed in the back of the moving car, Taleon smashed out the rear window by head-butting it, police said. He then dove through the window and its steel frame, causing $1,800 in damage, Kunkel said. After landing on his face, Taleon rose to his feet and, while still handcuffed, fled on foot and into a nearby pond, police said. “He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers shouting, ‘You’ll never catch me,’ ” Kunkel said.
Man Has Sex With 1,000 Cars
Smith, a self-professed "romantic," writes poems about his cars, and says he first had sex with a car at the age of 15. Since then, he says he's only been attracted to autos, not humans. Smith has several other cars besides Vanilla -- including a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger -- but he says "his most intense sexual experience was 'making love' to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf."
Fake Cop Arrested for Pulling Over Real Cop
Police say a Connecticut man playing police officer picked the wrong person to pull over. Israel Gomez was arrested Tuesday after pulling over an off-duty Hartford police lieutenant. Police say 20-year-old Gomez turned on flashing lights and used a siren and loudspeaker to coax police Lt. Ronald Bair off the road.
Anti-Emo Riots Break Out in Mexico
A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City. The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.
Man Charged for Having Sex with Patio Table
Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table. Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring the table's legs in the air, Price reportedly flipped the table over before forcing himself inside of it.
British Farmer Conceals Illegal Castle Behind Giant Hay Bales
Robert Fidler kept something much bigger concealed among the piles of straw down on his farm... a castle. Over the course of two years, he managed to secretly -- and unlawfully -- build the imposing mock Tudor structure in one of his fields, shielded behind a 40ft stack of hay bales covered by a huge tarpaulins. Once it was finished, he and his family moved in and lived there for four years before finally revealing the development -- complete with battlements and cannons -- in August 2006.
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