News of the Weird

[CountArach]

Like engrish, but in reverse

In a speech to students at the Australian National University last night, Mr Rudd joked that a translation mistake he made as a junior diplomat in Beijing may be behind the tensions.

"Apparently what I'd said as I sought to elevate his expression into a more classical form was that China and Australia are currently experiencing fantastic mutual orgasm," he said.

"Ever since then, our Chinese friends have remembered my visits to Beijing, 'Ah, you were the one...'

[Furunculus]

Madonna booed by Romanians for trying to tell them what to think about the Roma:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...g-Gypsies.html

[Gregoshi]

"Apparently what I'd said as I sought to elevate his expression into a more classical form was that China and Australia are currently experiencing fantastic mutual orgasm," he said.

Apparently the Chinese were faking it.

[Hosakawa Tito]

I want to go to Hell and not have to stand in line with everyone else.

Marketing genius. Throw in a Bible and you got a deal.

[Lemur]

Marketing genius. Throw in a Bible and you got a deal.

I'm thinking discount liquor and a porn bookstore. Bibles would just get in the way of the customers' hedonism.

Meanwhile, a 69-year-old woman in Missouri attempts to shoot down a plane for being "too loud."

The Fulton Police Chief, Steve Myers, says 69 year old Judy Davis was upset because the small plane was flying to close too her home. [...] "When she got to the airport, she told the employees that she was going to shut this plane down," said Chief Myers

[Hosakawa Tito]

I'm thinking discount liquor and a porn bookstore. Bibles would just get in the way of the customers' hedonism.

Meanwhile, a 69-year-old woman in Missouri attempts to shoot down a plane for being "too loud."

The Fulton Police Chief, Steve Myers, says 69 year old Judy Davis was upset because the small plane was flying to close too her home. [...] "When she got to the airport, she told the employees that she was going to shut this plane down," said Chief Myers

Never drink and drive Lem, you might hit a bump and spill your drink. Remember, in these troubled times we must reach for our guns our God and a hummer. though I must admit booze & porn would be the cherry on top.

Miss Davis appears to be a strong advocate of extreme air-traffic control. And being from the Show Me state...she sure showed them.

[Gregoshi]

Bibles would just get in the way of the customers' hedonism.

Since when?

[Lemur]

Man goes to jail to get away from wife

Anthony Miller, 39, told a Lancaster County judge his wife abused him so badly that in 2007 he held up an Ephrata Bank with a BB gun so he could go to jail to get away from her, according to Lancaster Online.

"She was very abusive to me," Miller told Judge Louis Farina. "I was scared. She threatened to commit suicide if I ever left her," according to the paper.

Miller was so anxious to get caught that he even stayed an extra four minutes inside the bank after he forced the teller to hand over the money.

“Did you call the police yet?” Miller asked the teller, according to the paper.

The teller eventually alerted police by setting off the bank alarm. Police caught Miller as he was leaving.

Miller’s defense attorney, Robert Beyer, said that when Miller’s wife came to pick up his car after he was in custody, she met with the arresting officer. After 20 minutes with her, the defense attorney said the officer confessed,” I was ready for jail, too,” according to the paper.

[Vladimir]

Shear poodle madness: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/220434...ures?GT1=43001

Edit: Link isn't working. Do a google search if interested.

[Hosakawa Tito]

You didn't think it was over, did you? When he loses, that'll pretty much leave only SCOTUS and The Hague on his To-Do list.

[Vladimir]

Greg, help me out here:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

But the al-Asiri case ended very differently from the al-Awfi case. Unlike al-Awfi, al-Asiri was not a genuine repentant — he was a human Trojan horse. After al-Asiri entered a small room to speak with Prince Mohammed, he activated a small improvised explosive device (IED) he had been carrying inside his anal cavity. The resulting explosion ripped al-Asiri to shreds but only lightly injured the shocked prince — the target of al-Asiri’s unsuccessful assassination attempt.

http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20090...m_medium=email

I can't think of a pun worthy enough.

[Gregoshi]

Greg, help me out here:

I can't think of a pun worthy enough.

But is was a successful assassassination attempt...

[Vladimir]

But is was a successful assassassination attempt...

OMG, it was so simple!

[Gregoshi]

You didn't think it was over, did you? When he loses, that'll pretty much leave only SCOTUS and The Hague on his To-Do list.

One could say that those first three suit were lost at the cleaners. Which, ironically, is what Mr. Pearson is kind of getting at.

[Gregoshi]

Shear poodle madness: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/220434...ures?GT1=43001

Edit: Link isn't working. Do a google search if interested.

The link worked for me. Some of those dogs are from my hometown of Hershey PA. I'll have to ask some family members if they've seen these monstrocities around town.

I'm surprised PETA isn't all over the owners.

[drone]

The link worked for me. Some of those dogs are from my hometown of Hershey PA. I'll have to ask some family members if they've seen these monstrocities around town.

I'm surprised PETA isn't all over the owners.

I think we have the official dog of the Org.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Gregoshi]

Almost. Am I the only one who sees a nipple instead of a hump on this "camel"? Or is my mind in the gutter again?

[Viking]

I was reading a brilliant piece of Onion news yesterday; and it turns out they liked it in Bangladesh as well.

Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologised after publishing an article taken from a satirical US website which claimed the Moon landings were faked.

[...]

The article said Mr Armstrong had told a news conference he had been "forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos and reading several blog posts" by a conspiracy theorist.

"It took only a few hastily written paragraphs published by this passionate denier of mankind's so-called 'greatest technological achievement' for me to realise I had been living a lie," the fake article "quoted" Mr Armstrong as saying.

One giant slip in Bangladesh news

[Lemur]

More than politicians come from Wasilla: 126-pound cabbage breaks records



The whopper submitted by Wasilla resident Steve Hubacek tipped the scales at 125.9 pounds, said Dean Phipps, marketing director for the fair. The cabbage's head measured about 21 inches across, and its leaves spanned about 5 feet.

"I was there when they put it on," he said. "When they put it on everybody took a couple steps back and went like, 'Oh, my gosh.' They all had versions of that and then they started jumping up and down." [...]

The previous world record, set in Wales, United Kingdom, in 1989, was 124 pounds, Liska said.

That broke a record that lasted 124 years. "So maybe we'll sit on this one for a while," she said.

Also this year, the fair saw two world record rutabagas, both submitted by Scott Robb of Palmer, she said. The first weighed more than 79 pounds and the second 82.9 pounds.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Man, lots of stuff comes from Wasilla. Like that guy who built the giant mech robot thing.

CR

[Hosakawa Tito]

That's a lot of slaw.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

More than politicians come from Wasilla: 126-pound cabbage breaks records

Just picture that as a heaping mound of delicious sauerkraut...

[Crazed Rabbit]

Washington Strikes again!

Bremerton Men Accused of Getting Naked and Loud
Kitsap Sun staff

Police were called to Mountain View Drive early Friday to investigate reports of intoxicated men urinating on cars.

While officers were en route, the men allegedly got undressed.

Witnesses said one was completely naked, one wasn’t wearing any pants and they couldn’t see the third man because the other two were on top of him, they said. The witnesses said they heard somebody yell “return of the Jedi” while the three were naked and entwined.

CR

[Lemur]

Walmart, China-style: Suspected shoplifter beaten to death by employees

At Wal-Mart, theft is not tolerated. At least not at the Wal-Mart in Jingdezhen, China, where a customer died at the hands of Wal-Mart employees who suspected her of stealing.

It started out when one of the Wal-Mart employees suspected a female customer of theft. The customer was then under surveillance for a few minutes before being approached by the staff.

The Wal-mart employee requested to search the customer’s bag and the female customer refused to hand it over, stating that it was a violation of her privacy.

Next thing she knew, more Wal-Mart employees gathered around her and started beating her up.

The customer managed to send an alert to her family through her cellphone and when her mother and sister showed up at the store, the staff members were still pummeling her. They begged and pleaded for them to stop but to no avail.

Finally, the police showed up and put a stop to the incident and the victim was then rushed to the hospital.

Unfortunately, she died of wounds shortly afterwards.

[Lemur]

Boys role in moose death unclear

Police say a shortage of witnesses has left them unconvinced that the Newfoundland boys accused of chasing a young moose to exhaustion in Deer Lake, N.L., on Monday actually did it.

And the father of one of the boys has offered an unusual alibi for them: he told CBC News in Corner Brook that the boys were busy vandalizing a church in Deer Lake when the moose was attacked.

[Gregoshi]

And the father of one of the boys has offered an unusual alibi for them: he told CBC News in Corner Brook that the boys were busy vandalizing a church in Deer Lake when the moose was attacked.

Thanks Dad!!

[Lemur]

Scientists desperate to know: Where's Waldo?

The Mote Marine Laboratory sent out a plea today for the return of their autonomous underwater vehicle.

"Mote scientists spent Thursday using side-scan sonar in an effort to find a scientific robot that has been missing since Monday, July 31, 2009," the e-mail stated. "Now we're seeking the public's help for the safe return of the robot."

The robot in question is a little over six feet long, 115 pounds, yellow, and answers to the name "Waldo." [...]

"We're hoping that if anyone has seen Waldo, they will call and let us know so we can pick it up," Kirkpatrick said.

[Lemur]

Looking for love in all the wrong places

An Ohio man who robbed a couple at gunpoint was arrested when he returned to ask his female victim for a date [...] Stephfon Bennett, 20, together with two other men, relieved Daniel Martinez Batista and Diana Martinez of their wallets outside their Columbus apartment on Saturday night.

A neighbour threatened the trio of miscreants, who legged it. However, less than two hours later, Bennett returned to the address to ask Ms Martinez if she fancied hooking up.

Columbus police Sgt Shaun Laird explained to WBNS-TV: "She recognized him right away when he returned, and was able to have her cousin call 911."

Within two minutes, Bennet was in custody, and now finds himself languishing dateless in Franklin County jail on $100k bail.

Sgt Laird admitted: "We are not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time."

[Rhyfelwyr]

Britain's deadliest biscuit revealed.

The British government must act to protect us, it's for our own good.

[Gregoshi]

Looking for love in all the wrong places

Men...always thinking with the wrong head. We often claim "it has a mind of its own, Dear". A dumb mind for sure.