News of the Weird

[Lemur]

Who Would Have Thought Inserting an Eel in Your Rectum Could Be Dangerous?

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.

Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.

Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in. [...]

The likely cause was eventually established - he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.

[Gregoshi]

Poor eel. He could have been on the menu, but noooooo...

[aimlesswanderer]

He has such nice "friends"! He's lucky they didn't put him on a land mine and spray cold water on him from a suitable distance.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Who Would Have Thought Inserting an Eel in Your Rectum Could Be Dangerous?

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.

Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.

Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in. [...]

The likely cause was eventually established - he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.

A companion piece. and this.
This may have been posted before. I saw the story on Animal Planet's "River Monsters" program the other night. Happened to a native peeing in the Amazon river. This thing swam up his pee stream into his penis and he needed surgery to remove it. Gives me the willies.

[Gregoshi]

A companion piece. and this.
This may have been posted before. I saw the story on Animal Planet's "River Monsters" program the other night. Happened to a native peeing in the Amazon river. This thing swam up his pee stream into his penis and he needed surgery to remove it. Gives me the willies.

On the bright side, at least they don't swim up stream to spawn...

[Lemur]

Oakland, CA, Low on Marijuana: Public Health Emergency Declared



The City of Oakland is set to renew its declaration of a “local public health emergency” stemming from a local lack of medicinal cannabis. [...]

The fine print of the declaration basically states that the people of California and the City of Oakland have voted for legal medicinal cannabis, because it helps the sick, hurting and dying. The sick and dying have such a need that the city of Oakland itself has tried help them get the plant. But the United States has blocked Oakland's efforts, sent the sick into the streets to get their medicine and perpetuated their suffering. [...]

The Oakland City Council is expected to quickly pass the declaration at their scheduled meeting next week.

[Tellos Athenaios]

'Goodness, evilness makes you powerful' - like the Force: Pure heart = x10 strength. Lust, hatred = mind choke?

Profs at Harvard uni, Cambridge*, America, say they have discovered a crucial meta-physiological effect. Being extremely good and moral - or conversely highly evil - actually confers mental and even physical powers on a person.[...]

Rather than those naturally endowed with superior abilities having the potential to achieve great things for good or evil, says Gray, it is more the case that being very pure or deeply villainous confers corresponding powers.[...]

The Harvard egghead bases his assertions on studies in which subjects were given a dollar and offered the choice of donating it to charity or selfishly keeping it. It turned out that the charitable types were then able to hold up a 5lb weight significantly longer than those who sniggeringly trousered the cash.

Similarly, other subjects who wrote stories in which they did good deeds turned out to be noticeably stronger than those whose tales depicted them neither harming nor helping others.

Worryingly, though, test subjects who wrote stories in which they figured as baleful malefactors turned out to be even stronger than the goody-goodies.

"Whether you're saintly or nefarious, there seems to be power in moral events," Gray says.[...]

[Lemur]

Italy hosts its first-ever "divorce fair"

MILAN - Italy is holding its first divorce fair, offering services such as life coaching and beauty advice to a booming number of separating couples in the Catholic country. [...] "Smiling is key to this fair, which also offers serious, practical advice for often dramatic situations," Franco Zanetti, who created the event, told Reuters.

The services include divorce planning, anti-stalking help, and "new look" tips, the organizers said.

[Vladimir]

Number one cause of divorce: Financial problems.

[Gregoshi]

Isn't "divorce fair" an oxymoron?

[Lemur]

Texas Cops Need Help Getting Rid Of 200,000 Pounds Of Weed



The Brooks County Sheriff's Department has a marijuana problem. They've got 200,000 pounds of pot, and they're complaining that it would be too expensive to destroy it.

"This is a problem that doesn't seem to be going away and anything we can get to help us to dispose of these cases once they're done and to get ready for the next one that are coming in would be a great help," said Deputy Daniel Davila. [...]

It's a priority for the current sheriff to get rid of the hundreds of thousands of pounds of pot. Deputies destroyed some of the bundles of bud with two visits to the Department of Public Safety incinerator in McAllen, Texas last year, but it cost them nearly $30,000.

The problem seems to be unwrapping the plastic off the marijuana, commonly used by Mexican drug smugglers, and Brooks County just doesn't have the manpower to do that. The county has a small sheriff's department, with only seven patrol officers and one criminal investigator.

"(It's) very time consuming," Deputy Davila said. "Probably for preparation to get it ready a week or more, whatever trailers we are going to use to transport it up there, and it would take several officers especially to remove the plastic from the contraband."

[Gregoshi]

Lemur, that dog picture is really disturbing. And you've used it twice now.

[drone]

Texas Cops Need Help Getting Rid Of 200,000 Pounds Of Weed

The solution is obvious. Send it to Oakland.

Whenever I see that dog, or read the Cali legalization thread, Cypress Hill plays in my head.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Is this what I get for unleashing that creepy dog on the PUPPIES thread?

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

[Lemur]

Lemur, that dog picture is really disturbing. And you've used it twice now.

It's the most stoned-looking animal I have ever seen, so I've adopted it as my go-to graphic for any weed-related post.

[Lemur]

Most Excellent Cannibalism Defense: "We Were Hungry!"

A Russian court has convicted two men of murdering and eating a 16-year-old schoolgirl in January.

The St Petersburg city court sentenced a 21-year-old goth-rock musician to 19 years in a maximum-security prison. His 20-year-old accomplice was sentenced to 18 years.

The court said the musician lured his victim to his apartment building, where he and his friend drowned her in a bathtub and cooked parts of her body in an oven.

The men pleaded not guilty. In testimony they said they had killed the girl because they "were hungry".

[Hosakawa Tito]

Gimme tongue. I always wanted to be able to lick my eyebrows.

[drone]

Gimme tongue. I always wanted to be able to lick my eyebrows.

That dude is going to be very popular with the ladies.

[Veho Nex]

Staring at breast will make men live longer

"According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.""]According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

[Lemur]

Mother's Day epic fail:

[Furunculus]

Japans most dangerous religious sport, where death is an honourable outcome:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-festival.html

[gaelic cowboy]

Starving yogi' astounds Indian scientists

[Gregoshi]

Starving yogi' astounds Indian scientists

I bet no one has shown him a pic-a-nic bask-et.

[gaelic cowboy]

I bet no one has shown him a pic-a-nic bask-et.

better be careful about those could be a trap

[Hosakawa Tito]

Staring at breast will make men live longer

You could be immortal staring at her.

[Gregoshi]

You could be immortal staring at her.

Yodel ay eee ooo...
That was in poor
taste Greg

[Furunculus]

Investment bankers correctly bet on the election result, and have a £80,000 pound champagne party to celebrate:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ction-bet.html

[Tellos Athenaios]

Dictionary siphons driven by atmospheric pressure since 1911: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/05...tionary_error/

[Vladimir]

Well that sucks.

[Vladimir]

Lies!!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth...00/8664542.stm

They just want us to think that.