News of the Weird

[Crazed Rabbit]

The not-so-amazing Yo-yo man.

A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air.

Little is known about "K-Strass," who goes by Kenny Strasser, or sometimes Karl Strassburg. He claims to be from Wisconsin (except when he doesn't). He claims to be from a broken home, with his own addiction issues (except when he isn't).

All we know is that K-Strass has shown up on television six times in the past month, showing off his yo-yo "skills" and generally embarrassing the hosts.

His latest appearance occurred Thursday morning on KQTV's "Hometown This Morning," in St. Joseph, Mo.

"He got us," said Bridget Blevins, the station's news director. "I hate that we got duped."

And how good was he with the yo-yo, a skill Strasser has said made him a champion? "He did some really lame things. He hit himself in the face and the groin with his yo-yo," Blevins said.

Lisa Malak, who anchors the "Sunday Morning" show on WFRV in Green Bay, thought it would be fun to book somebody who said he was a yo-yo champion. When Strasser showed up April 11, he said he forgot the string for his yo-yo. With no tricks, Malak and Strasser spent their live TV segment talking.

"It was the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me on the air," Malak said.

Videos at the link.

CR

[Peasant Phill]

And here I thought the threat of the giant octosquids was long forgotten on this forum.

[Vladimir]

And here I thought the threat of the giant octosquids was long forgotten on this forum.

Never forget!

Can someone photoshop a giant squid destroying the world trade center...and sinking the Arizona?

[Hosakawa Tito]

The King and Dr. Nick.

We didn't realize until the autopsy that his constipation was as bad," he said, noting that when he died there was waste in his colon that was several months old.

Too much information.

[drone]

The King and Dr. Nick.


Too much information.

Well, he did die on the john...

[Furunculus]

God I love the Russians, no mess around:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...have-died.html

The 10 pirates were captured last week after seizing a Russian oil tanker but were then unexpectedly released, with Russian officials saying there was insufficient legal basis to keep them in detention and that they would be too expensive to feed.

"According to the latest information, the pirates who seized the Moscow University oil tanker failed to reach the shore. Evidently, they have all died," the high-ranking source was quoted as saying by Russia's official news agencies.

The source said that radio signals from the boat stopped just one hour after it had been set free by the Russian navy. No details were given over the manner in which they could have lost their lives.

lulz, what kidders! :D

[Beskar]

I am amazed that the Moscow University has its own oil tanker.

[aimlesswanderer]

I am amazed that the Moscow University has its own oil tanker.

One of the Oligarchs must have needed to get a dopey kid enrolled.

[Pannonian]

Thai red shirts face army siege

I think they're doomed.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Thai red shirts face army siege

I think they're doomed.

Why is that in NoTW? It's not remotely weird.

[Pannonian]

Why is that in NoTW? It's not remotely weird.

It's not weird, but I was tickled by the headline, but I didn't have enough commentary to merit a separate thread. I think you've told me off before for starting a thread for this purpose, so NoTW it was.

[Gregoshi]

Thai red shirts face army siege

I think they're doomed.

I don't. I think this confrontation will end in a Thai.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Thai red shirts face army siege

I think they're doomed.

I think the end of the Red shirts means we'll see some Thai died again.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Oh boy a pun off!

A Chimp and His Toolkit. I believe we've been lapped in the evolutionary race. We have to crinkle money to accomplish this...

[Pannonian]

I don't. I think this confrontation will end in a Thai.

You're probably right. I think they'll manage to kling on.

[Louis VI the Fat]

You're probably right. I think they'll manage to kling on.

I thought Banquo had warned you about keeping the NotW thread on trek.

If only Kukri were still the mod, you'd now face the wrath of 'Khan.

[Beskar]

For those who do not get it, I will say it bluntly. In Star Trek, the Original Series, the crewmember wearing red will always die. This are known as "red-shirts", simply a character whose purpose in the story is to simply die.

[Gregoshi]

For those who do not get it, I will say it bluntly. In Star Trek, the Original Series, the crewmember wearing red will always die. This are known as "red-shirts", simply a character whose purpose in the story is to simply die dye.

Fix it for Louis.

[miotas]

Promiscuous women cause earthquakes. These men are mad. If promiscuous women really can cause earthquakes then they should instead worship these promiscuous women and ask forgiveness for their conservative ways. Maybe then their homes will be spared.

[Hosakawa Tito]

For all those considering marriage, when NOT to hyphenate your name.

[Gregoshi]

Promiscuous women cause earthquakes. These men are mad. If promiscuous women really can cause earthquakes then they should instead worship these promiscuous women and ask forgiveness for their conservative ways. Maybe then their homes will be spared.

The new Quaker women.

Re: name hyphenation: they were killing me.

[Lemur]

Alpaca Kidnapped, Beaten



CINCINNATI—Almost as comforting as the soft sweaters made from alpaca fleece is the affection that the llama-like animals from South America bestow on their owners. Jeff Pergram's alpaca, named Masterpiece, would trail and nuzzle him.

So it was heartbreaking not only to Pergram, but also to owners throughout the state known as "Little Peru" for its thriving alpaca industry, when Masterpiece was stolen, beaten to death with a makeshift club and dumped in a barn.

"I can't imagine anyone looking into the gentle eyes of an alpaca and doing such a thing," said Beth Kressin, an alpaca owner in Medina, in northeast Ohio. [...]

The attack is still discussed at alpaca shows, and owners and others have registered their distress on websites such as a "Justice for Masterpiece" Facebook page, which has drawn thousands of comments. [...]

Ohio leads the country in registered alpacas with 25,000. More than 150,000 alpacas are registered in the United States, according to the national association, based in Nashville, Tenn.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Alpaca Kidnapped, Beaten



CINCINNATI—Almost as comforting as the soft sweaters made from alpaca fleece is the affection that the llama-like animals from South America bestow on their owners. Jeff Pergram's alpaca, named Masterpiece, would trail and nuzzle him.

So it was heartbreaking not only to Pergram, but also to owners throughout the state known as "Little Peru" for its thriving alpaca industry, when Masterpiece was stolen, beaten to death with a makeshift club and dumped in a barn.

"I can't imagine anyone looking into the gentle eyes of an alpaca and doing such a thing," said Beth Kressin, an alpaca owner in Medina, in northeast Ohio. [...]

The attack is still discussed at alpaca shows, and owners and others have registered their distress on websites such as a "Justice for Masterpiece" Facebook page, which has drawn thousands of comments. [...]

Ohio leads the country in registered alpacas with 25,000. More than 150,000 alpacas are registered in the United States, according to the national association, based in Nashville, Tenn.

Hopefully they try that with this one.
Come get some.

[Lemur]

Indian police given moustache pay

Police in a district in India's Madhya Pradesh state are being paid to grow moustaches because bosses believe it makes them command more respect.

Ten policemen in the northern state are already receiving 30 rupees (66 US cents) every month for their efforts.

Jhabua district police chief Mayank Jain told BBC News Online: "The response is growing and in the months ahead we expect to see more moustachioed policemen.

"Moustaches are improving the personalities of our constables. They are acquiring an aura of their own. They are creating a positive impression on the local people and getting a lot of respect."

[Lemur]

British Job Centers Offering Women Porn Work (and What's Wrong With That?)



Government-run dole offices are offering unemployed women jobs on X-rated websites.

The girls are told they can earn up to £700 a week if they strip naked on webcams and have sexually explicit conversations with customers.

Young jobseekers looking for clerical work were given sex line applications when they went to sign on at Jobcentre Plus offices in Birmingham, Warwickshire and Shropshire.

Faceclick, the adult agency recruiting for the work, encourages job applicants to perform "activities that you feel comfortable with" when naked in front of the camera.

It features photos of its clients under various titles including "just legal 18", "fetish" and "role play".

One 19-year-old woman, who wanted to remain anonymous, told the Birmingham Mail she was shocked a taxpayer-funded government agency was effectively recruiting for the sex industry.

She said: "My job in a call centre is a fixed-term contract that's coming to an end and I've just taken out a car loan so I'm desperate for work.

"But I'm not so desperate that I'm prepared to perform disgusting acts on an internet sex line."

The job adverts have sparked outrage, with Birmingham MP Khalid Mahmood demanding an official inquiry.

[drone]

I had no idea Gregoshi worked for the Washington Post:

Women's restroom shortage is out of line, lawmakers say

There are times when the legislative plumbing gets clogged, when frustration overflows, when the American people must pull up their collective trousers and reach for the plunger.

Now is just such a time.

"This is not a minor issue," Chairman Edolphus Towns (D-N.Y.) pronounced as he convened a hearing Wednesday of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

"I think we need to approach this, as our chairman has, with the urgency of now," added Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.). "It is an urgent situation. . . . I'm talking about the urgency of this moment."

And what is this urgent situation that inspired the lawmaker to echo the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s phrase about the "fierce urgency of now"? King fought for racial justice. Towns and his colleagues are fighting for ladies' toilets.

"I am certain that every woman in this room has frequently experienced the inconvenience, as well as the discomfort, caused by an insufficient number of women's restroom facilities," the chairman announced. His solution: H.R. 4869, the Restroom Gender Parity in Federal Buildings Act -- known as "potty parity."

In the past, similar proposals have fallen victim to stall tactics. But by scheduling Wednesday's hearing, lawmakers proved they are now ready to plumb for solutions to this vexing problem.

There are those who might say that, in the swirl of big issues, Congress probably has something better to do than fret about plumbing. Afghanistan's president is in town, there's a new Supreme Court nominee, and the Gulf of Mexico is turning into an oil drum. But the forces for W.C. equality can no longer fight the urge.

The puns go on for the whole article...

[Gregoshi]

I had no idea Gregoshi worked for the Washington Post:

If only.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Part of God's plan. Sure beats crucifixion, but the confessional is gonna be a .

[Gregoshi]

Christ was in a marked crosswalk at the time of the accident, Savino said.

You'd think after the first time around, Christ would avoid the crosswalk.

[Cute Wolf]

How such Beastility exist