News of the Weird

[Veho Nex]

Yup...

[Gregoshi]

Yup...

In a related story, Victoria's Secret today announced a new line of lingere for cows...

[edyzmedieval]

In a related story, Victoria's Secret today announced a new line of lingere for cows...

Ah yes, Gregoshi back to his antics.

[Lemur]

Man Arrested for Inventing, Recruiting and Training a Fake US Army Unit

A Chinese man was arrested for creating a fake U.S. Army unit and convincing immigrants that joining the squad was a path to citizenship, authorities said.

Yupeng Deng, 51, allegedly gave his recruits military uniforms, had them parade in a Los Angeles suburb and took them to the decommissioned USS Midway aircraft carrier, which is a museum in San Diego.

Deng charged more than 100 fellow Chinese nationals a fee of between $300 and $450 to join the fake Army unit, according to the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office.

He called his bogus squad the U.S. Army/Military Special Forces Reserve unit, or MSFR for short, and he gave himself the lofty title of supreme commander, prosecutors said.

Aside from telling recruits that belonging to the unit was a path to U.S. citizenship, Deng also urged them to pay him cash for higher military rank, according to prosecutors.

He also allegedly provided them with fake documents and phony military identification cards.

Deng, a resident of the Los Angeles suburb of El Monte, was arrested on Tuesday by sheriff's deputies.

[Gregoshi]

Deng should be given US citizenship for demonstrating his total understanding of how America works. I also give him props for figuring out how to turn the army into a money making organization.

Deng for congress!

[Raz]

Yale student killed in lathe

Apparently the photos of the incident (not included in this article) are highly recommended to be viewed if you wish to see your last meal again. I can't confirm this as I have not seen the images myself and I have no intention to. It's reminiscent of but not at all identical to the 2008 incident involving a man and a lathe (he was unfortunately... mangled, to say the least, this lovely girl had tragically suffocated).

I would not be surprised if these sort of incidents caused the use of lathes to be banned and removed from schools, colleges, and the ilk.

[Lemur]

Glowing blue pork found in China

Miss Chen the purchased a kilogram of pork from a wet market on Yang Gao North Road the day before yesterday. That night her family used a portion of that pork to make dumplings together. Afterward, she placed the leftover pork on a small table in the kitchen. At 11pm, Miss Chen got out of bed [...] and suddenly noticed a faint blue glow coming from the kitchen, and that the bright blue glow was coming from the pork itself.

In order to be sure she wasn’t seeing things, Miss Chen woke up her family to look at this piece of strange meat together. The pork glowed in the dark but returned to “normal” in the morning. Both astonished and afraid, Miss Chen’s family did not dare to eat from this piece of pork again. [...]

This reporter, through multiple tests in the dark and light, truly did see the pork emit a faint blue light, that apart from the pig’s skin, the entire piece of pork was suffused with blue light, and a faint blue glow could also be seen on fingers that had handled the pork. This reporter afterward intentionally washed this piece of pork with water and again checked in a dark place, but the pork still emitted a blue glow [...]

This reporter got a hold of two food experts on the phone. Regarding this, the experts response was that they have never seen pork emitting light, that it may have been caused by bacteria, that the pork needs to be tested, and further observation, research, and analysis is required before anything can be confirmed.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Glowing blue pork found in China

Miss Chen the purchased a kilogram of pork from a wet market on Yang Gao North Road the day before yesterday. That night her family used a portion of that pork to make dumplings together. Afterward, she placed the leftover pork on a small table in the kitchen. At 11pm, Miss Chen got out of bed [...] and suddenly noticed a faint blue glow coming from the kitchen, and that the bright blue glow was coming from the pork itself.

In order to be sure she wasn’t seeing things, Miss Chen woke up her family to look at this piece of strange meat together. The pork glowed in the dark but returned to “normal” in the morning. Both astonished and afraid, Miss Chen’s family did not dare to eat from this piece of pork again. [...]

This reporter, through multiple tests in the dark and light, truly did see the pork emit a faint blue light, that apart from the pig’s skin, the entire piece of pork was suffused with blue light, and a faint blue glow could also be seen on fingers that had handled the pork. This reporter afterward intentionally washed this piece of pork with water and again checked in a dark place, but the pork still emitted a blue glow [...]

This reporter got a hold of two food experts on the phone. Regarding this, the experts response was that they have never seen pork emitting light, that it may have been caused by bacteria, that the pork needs to be tested, and further observation, research, and analysis is required before anything can be confirmed.

Maybe they imported that glow-in-the-dark pork from Japan.

Ohio man charged with teasing police dog. "The dog started it!"

[drone]

Man ‘Engulfed In Flames’ At San Francisco Porn Shop

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS 5) — A man was hospitalized Wednesday evening with life-threatening, third-degree burns after somehow catching fire inside a San Francisco porn store, authorities told CBS 5.

The fire occurred at the Golden Gate Adult Superstore at 99 Sixth Street, near the intersection with Mission Street, in the city’s South of Market neighborhood around 6:20 p.m.

Police officers across the street from the porn shop saw a man run out the front door of the store “engulfed in flames,” SFPD Lt. Kevin McNaughton said.

Some firefighters who happened to be about a block away at the time were immediately summoned and extinguished the flames.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Musta been quite the hot vid.

[Gregoshi]

Man ‘Engulfed In Flames’ At San Francisco Porn Shop

Fricktion will do that. That's why it is important to engage in lube behaviour in such places.

[Lemur]

Baltimore Police Need Robots, Chemical Warfare, to Subdue NINJA!

(this guy had real, ultimate power)



Michael R. Beach, who according to Anne Arundel County Sheriff Ron Bateman was "well-known" to his deputies and police, was being served with a protective order filed by his mother, Martha Beach [...]

Beach, brandishing a sword, charged at the sheriff's deputy trying to serve the court order at his mother's residence in the 2700 block of Cassia Drive, police said. The deputy suffered a cracked rib while trying to evade Beach [...]

After trying to negotiate with Beach for several hours, during which neighbors were told to stay inside, police used a newly purchased remote-control robot camera to locate and communicate with Beach.

About 10:20 p.m., tactical officers used a chemical agent to help gain entry into the house. They found Beach wounded but still holding the sword and not willing to surrender. Police then shot him in the abdomen with beanbag rounds, and he tried to hide in a bathroom, according to police. Police subdued Beach using a Taser.

[Lemur]

Suicide by Crocodile

David Lubisi, 40, was eaten alive after he entered the Lepelle river following an argument with his girlfriend, detectives believe. [...] “Our investigations have revealed that at around 7pm on April 7 he told a co-worker he wanted to walk into the river, which he knew to be infested with crocodiles,” said Sergeant Malesela Makgopa.

“He was last seen heading towards the water and never turned up after that.

“We believe he may have been having domestic problems with his girlfriend .” [...]

[T]he owner of a neighbouring property reported seeing a crocodile with a human leg protruding from its mouth four days after the incident.

[InsaneApache]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...fvi%3D1&_rdc=1

The windows are unbroken glass, have no chips and critically are transparent unlike bricks which are not often used as a window making material, they are tinted at the back so if you take that lass from the chippy up the hills you can do what you like in the back and won’t be seen. Unless someone looks through the windscreen and then the games up and the pillar box is down.

[Hosakawa Tito]

[Husar]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...fvi%3D1&_rdc=1

That's hilarious!

Also worth mentioning that this car runs on petrol which can be bought at 'petrol stations', if you are unfamiliar with these then ask someone for directions to a place that sells over priced cold sausage rolls.

[Hosakawa Tito]

'Royal Virility Performance' British beer containing Viagra launched. A stiff drink.

[Gregoshi]

...A stiff drink.

Please call your bartender if you have a beer lasting longer than four hours...

[Ronin]

Christian movement in the us announced rapture/end of the world for next month.

we're about to have a lot of elbow room it seems

all I got to say is that it's not cool to ****-block the Mayans like this.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Man on drug rampage leaves stabbed lamb, maimed father, burnt farm and severed penis in his wake

I know how to party hard...

[Gregoshi]

First he cut-off a piece of his penis, and when his father came to help him he sliced off his father's ear

"Here son, you are doing it all wrong..."

[Fragony]

The ride of your life http://www.di.research.rca.ac.uk/content/home#

[Lemur]

Legal news: "Mommyjuice" does not violate the trademark "Mommy's Time Out"



Rival wine sellers targeting overworked mothers are fighting over use of the word "Mommy" on their wine labels, according to a lawsuit filed in San Francisco federal court.

In the suit, filed on Monday, California-based winery Clos Lachance Wines asked the court to declare that its "Mommyjuice" does not violate the trademark of "Mommy's Time Out," which is marketed by a New Jersey distributor.

"Mommy is a generic word that they don't have a monopoly on," said KC Branch, an attorney who represents Clos Lachance. [...]

The front label of Mommyjuice features a drawing of a woman juggling a house, teddy bear and computer. The back label advises moms to "tuck your kids into bed, sit down and have a glass of Mommyjuice. Because you deserve it." The wine is available in a white Chardonnay and a red mixed blend.

The front label of "Mommy's Time Out," an Italian wine sold in red and white, shows an empty chair facing a corner. A wine bottle and glass sit on a table next to the chair.

[Lemur]

Kyrgyz MPs sacrifice rams to banish "evil spirits"



Members of Kyrgyzstan's divided parliament slaughtered seven rams before their morning session on Thursday, in a sacrifice they hope will banish "evil spirits" disrupting their work.

Kyrgyzstan elected a new legislature in October in a bid to build the first parliamentary democracy in former Soviet Central Asia, a region otherwise run by authoritarian presidents.

But the fragile governing coalition has come under threat after weeks of bitter recriminations and disputes in parliament, leading a senior government member to resign temporarily. [...]

"We decided to resort to popular customs, in order for this building not to see bloodshed anymore," member of parliament Myktybek Abdyldayev told Reuters after the rams were sacrificed on a green lawn in front of the government headquarters.

Besides hosting the legislature, the Soviet-era white-marble building in the center of the Kyrgyz capital is the official seat of the president and government. Two presidents fled this building to escape violent popular uprisings in 2005 and 2010.

"We acted like those who light candles or fumigate their homes in order to banish an evil spirit from their conscience," Abdyldayev said.

[Lemur]

Scientific career destroyed by "semengate"



Dr. Greenfield noted the therapeutic effects of semen, citing research from the Archives of Sexual Behavior which found that female college students practicing unprotected sex were less likely to suffer from depression than those whose partners used condoms (as well as those who remained abstinent).

Presumably it was the closing line that caused the controversy: “So there’s a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there’s a better gift for that day than chocolates.”

The attempt at Jackie Mason-humor apparently didn’t sit well in certain quarters. Dr. Greenfield resigned as editor of the Surgery News and gave up his stewardship of ACS after learning that his article had spurred threats of protests from outside women’s groups.

[Gregoshi]

...gave up his stewardship of ACS after learning that his article had spurred threats of protests from outside women’s groups.

Including Hershey's no doubt.

[Lemur]

Ninja puts small English town under his protection



A masked vigilante has taken to the streets of Royal Tunbridge Wells to protect "ordinary citizens".

The "Neighbourhood Ninja" claims to be a 25 year old who has tackled garage break-ins and conducted night patrols.

The vigilante, who has so far remained anonymous, is posting his exploits in the Kent spa town on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

He also says he has reunited missing cats with their owners and warned drivers when they risk parking fines. [...]

A Kent Police spokeswoman said the force was not aware of the Neighbourhood Ninja and warned residents they should not take the law into their own hands.

-edit-

More details emerge:

The anonymous 25-year-old is also on hand to help old ladies across the road - in deeds described as 'odd' by grateful recipients of his aid. [...]

However critics have pointed out that his campaign has similarities to a hoax in 2003 in which local residents claimed a 'caped crusader' was fighting crime on the streets.

Sally Everson, 43, who saw the Ninja help some ladies across a road told the Sun: 'It was very odd, but the ladies were happy. Then I saw him stand outside a shop where some undesirables hang out and they moved on quite quickly.'

[gaelic cowboy]

Man Throws Cousin Through Window Debating 'Game of Thrones'

Must be a box set they were arguing over ba dum bish

[Hosakawa Tito]

Wanted: Blemish Free, Stacked Chinese Virgins Ancient Chinese secret?

[Gregoshi]

The anonymous 25-year-old is also on hand to help old ladies across the road - in deeds described as 'odd' by grateful recipients of his aid...

Reminds me of the story of the ninja that helped Takeda Shingen get up on his horse.

"British ninja" seems like an oxymoron, what with wearing red pajamas and being followed by a piper everywhere...