News of the Weird

[Veho Nex]

Veho, for that nested spoiler trick, you are getting Cole in your stocking this Christmas.

Who's Cole? Is Cole fun to hang out with? A good friend?

If so, you can come to Gregoshi :D

Also, if it makes you feel any better, I failed at it like four times before getting it right.

[Gregoshi]

Cole is the nut from the future in your story. On the bright side, at least you would have access to unlimited Kit Kats.

[Hosakawa Tito]

UK Crematorium May Sell Body Heat To Great Britain's National Grid. That is creepily energy efficient. Would it be considered "green energy" like soylent green?

[Gregoshi]

UK Crematorium May Sell Body Heat To Great Britain's National Grid. That is creepily energy efficient.

Welcome to the Deddy Kilowatt Funeral 'Ohm, where the power is always dead but you'll see the Light.

[Ja'chyra]

Great idea, cremations are very expensive and that will help with the inheritance.

[Lemur]

Eagles Attack Paraglider in Himalayas

Not much to add to that except to note that the article has full video of the aerial assault. From the link: "[A] man paragliding the Himalayas [has] the shock of his life when two eagles materialize out of nowhere and smash into him. It's possible that the eagles were engaged in a mid-air courtship display and unwittingly collided with the paraglider (eagles don't typically attack people), or that they perceived the paraglider as a threat and were indeed aggressively attacking."

[Lemur]

Kidnapper sues victims for daring to escape



A convicted Colorado kidnapper is suing a couple he held hostage two years ago for breaking their promise that they would help hide him from police.

Jessie Dimmick, 25, claims that Jared and Lindsay Rowley agreed to take an unspecified amount of cash in exchange for helping him hide from cops, who were hunting him in connection with the beating death of a Colorado man, The Topeka Capital-Journal reported.

Dimmick broke into the couple's Topeka, Kan., home on Sept. 12, 2009 after he crashed a stolen van onto their lawn during a high-speed chase with police.

The Rowleys claimed the young thug held them at knifepoint, but they eventually got his trust by munching on Cheetos, sipping Dr. Pepper and watching the Robin Williams flick "Patch Adams," the Capital-Journal reported at the time.

The couple managed to escape after Dimmick fell asleep, and police arrested him sometime later.

"As a result of the plaintiffs breech (sic) of contract, I, the defendant suffered a gunshot to my back, which almost killed me. The hospital bills alone are in excess of $160,000, which I have no way to pay," Dimmick wrote in the suit.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Snowbound Alaskan survives on frozen beer, or “Quick drive ends in terrifying Coors Light ordeal”:

An Alaskan man who ill-advisedly went for a drive without adequate emergency supplies and got stuck in a snow drift was obliged to subsist for three days on nothing more than frozen cans of beer.

Clifton Vial left Nome, on the Bering Sea, in his Toyota Tacoma last Monday night for a quick jaunt north. Some 40 miles (64km) from home, he found himself stranded out of mobile phone range, and wearing just "tennis shoes, jeans and a $30 jacket from Sears".

The 52-year-old said: "I made an attempt at digging myself out and realised how badly I was stuck. I would have been frostbit before I ever got the thing out of there."
(...)
Since his family was away on a trip, and he wouldn't be missed at work until he failed to turn up on Tuesday afternoon, a quick rescue was unlikely. Vial was obliged to crawl into a sleeping bag liner, wrap a towel around his feet and occasionally run the engine as protection against the -25°C cold.

[Lemur]

Gay Marriage Will Lead to People Marrying Cars, Eiffel Tower



The startling prediction came from Buster Wilson, general manager of American Family Radio, during a discussion with co-host Ed Vitagliano articulating the pair's views against marriage equality. (Same-sex couples can marry today in six states and the District of Columbia.)

Wilson starts out by saying that the "end result" of marriage equality is legalization of polygamous marriages.

That, he says, will be followed by polyamory marriages (multiple partners of any gender), and then "people who brought to the forefront their desire to marry—one guy had a desire to marry a building, another one a car, another one his dog." [...]

In other related news, last week the chairwoman of presidential candidate Michele Bachmann's Iowa campaign organization claimed that same-sex marriage would lead to women wanting to marry the Eiffel Tower.

[Lemur]

The Irish Are Easily Confused

Finding Jews in Ireland is not an easy task. Of Ireland’s 4.4 million people, only 2,000 or so are Jewish.

But finding a menorah, the eight branched candle that celebrates Hanukkah — that’s a cinch.

For some reason, already lost in time and space, thousands of rural Irish homes have unwittingly adopted this famous candelabrum to celebrate — of all things — Christmas. It’s a festival of lights for sure, but somehow the Irish have followed them in an intriguingly new direction.

It was during the mid 1990s that the Irish craze for menorahs, one of the most enduring symbols of the Jewish faith and Israel, took off. Doubtless some enterprising Irish salesman with a hard neck or thing for irony brought them to the High Street where they were instantly snapped up.

Driving west from Dublin to Galway in December you can count them by the hundred now, shining out from the polished windows of Irish living rooms. Some feature candles, some electric lights, and all seem designed to perplex or mystify their Jewish neighbors who must shake their heads in wonder at the sight.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Castrating Lambs With Your Teeth May Make You Sick. Makes me queasy just thinking bout it. I prefer my mountain oysters cooked and on a plate.

[InsaneApache]

No **** Sherlock!

Transplanting faecal matter from one person to another - the thought might turn your stomach, but it could be lifesaving.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15113440

One trusts that there was no fan present in the operating theatre.

[Gregoshi]

Save a life. Please give a crap about C. difficile infection.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Next time I tell someone to eat I can claim to be concerned with their health.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Skinhead Knocked Out by Victim Now Faces Hate-Crime Sentence

Prosecutors said that Daren Abbey had threatened to stab a black man, saying "blacks were not welcome in Bayview and he had better leave before something happened," according to police. Abbey then allegedly poked the victim in the chest.

But Abbey, a self-proclaimed skinhead who sports several neo-Nazi tatoos, got knocked out with one punch by the black man during the July 3 incident. Abbey later told officials that he felt he had been "hit by a brick." Abbey apparently was unaware of the writing on the back of the black man's T-shirt: "Spokane Boxing Club Champion."

CR

[Lemur]

Australia's "Small Breast Ban" — Boobish Lawmaking or Outstanding Points?

Australia's government is "banning" adult publications and films featuring women with "small breasts," says Aussie activist Fiona Patten, on the grounds that such images encourage pedophilia. [...] This "is a terrible idea for many reasons," says Maureen O'Connor in Gawker. Not only would such a ban do nothing to "reduce smut," censoring images of "small breasts" only codifies "an arbitrary set of female sexual ideals." [...]

Regardless, the law is sexist: A ban that classifies normal female bodies as "obscene" could not be "any more insulting," says adult industry blog Ms Naughty. Not only does this encourage women to have breast augmentations, it characterizes men who think "small boobs are sexy" as "perverts." There's an easier way to determine if a woman is "'too young" — it's called checking her date of birth.

[gaelic cowboy]

The Irish Are Easily Confused

Finding Jews in Ireland is not an easy task. Of Ireland’s 4.4 million people, only 2,000 or so are Jewish.

But finding a menorah, the eight branched candle that celebrates Hanukkah — that’s a cinch.

For some reason, already lost in time and space, thousands of rural Irish homes have unwittingly adopted this famous candelabrum to celebrate — of all things — Christmas. It’s a festival of lights for sure, but somehow the Irish have followed them in an intriguingly new direction.

It was during the mid 1990s that the Irish craze for menorahs, one of the most enduring symbols of the Jewish faith and Israel, took off. Doubtless some enterprising Irish salesman with a hard neck or thing for irony brought them to the High Street where they were instantly snapped up.

Driving west from Dublin to Galway in December you can count them by the hundred now, shining out from the polished windows of Irish living rooms. Some feature candles, some electric lights, and all seem designed to perplex or mystify their Jewish neighbors who must shake their heads in wonder at the sight.

Well no more strange than having pictures above the stanley range in the kitchen of President Kennedy proudly beside the Sacred Heart.

[Veho Nex]

Skinhead Knocked Out by Victim Now Faces Hate-Crime Sentence





CR

Karma hits like a brick too.

[Gregoshi]

Skinhead Knocked Out by Victim Now Faces Hate-Crime Sentence

Abbey was charged with one count of malicious harassment, one count of battery and a ten count for being incredibly stupid.

Australia's government is "banning" adult publications and films featuring women with "small breasts," says Aussie activist Fiona Patten, on the grounds that such images encourage pedophilia. [...]

Under this law, the "ABC" television network will have to change its name to "C".

[Tellos Athenaios]

Australia's "Small Breast Ban" — Boobish Lawmaking or Outstanding Points?

I thought that headline was strangely familiar. It's over a year old!

posted on January 29, 2010, at 2:41 AM

[Lemur]

Amphibian Home Invasion



A wandering baby fur-seal wriggled through the cat-door of a Bay of Plenty house — and made himself at home on the couch.

A stunned Annette Swoffer thought she must have been hallucinating when she found the young pup hanging out with her cats in her kitchen on Sunday night.

The seal had made its way from the Welcome Bay waterfront, through the suburb's residential area, across busy Welcome Bay Rd, up a slip road, along Ms Swoffer's long driveway, under a gate, through the cat door and up some stairs before he was found in the kitchen about 9.30pm.

"I was in my office and I heard an awful racket down below... I thought the cats have brought a rabbit or something in so I went down and had a look — and there's a seal in my kitchen.

"I thought 'I'm hallucinating, this is just wrong'."

Stunned, Ms Swoffer called a friend who lives in a unit at the same property to come and verify what she was seeing.

"I'm looking and I'm definitely seeing flippers and not paws."

Calmly, the young pup then eased past Ms Swoffer's dog and cats before making himself at home on a couch and attempting to snuggle in for the night.

[drone]

Amphibian Home Invasion

Seals are mammals, not amphibians.

I cannot imagine the chaos a seal would cause if it got into my house (aka, Siberian Central).

[Vladimir]

Enter a third and we can film a new Monty Python movie:

Twins born with two heads and one body

[Lemur]

Man Shoot Mouse, Misses, Accidentally Reveals Child Molester

Taylorsville Police Sgt. Tracy Wyant told Deseret News that the first roommate, 27, had been trying to kill a rodent when he missed and the round went through the kitchen wall and struck a second roommate, 28.

“After the gun was fired, both the roommate and Paul heard a scream,” Wyant explained.

Officers responding to the scene early Tuesday morning found a 13-year-old girl hiding in a basement closet. She told police she had been having an affair with the third roommate, 34-year-old Paul Daniel Kunzler. During an interview, the Children’s Justice Center determined that the girl had been having sex with Kunzler over a period of four months.

He was arrested on suspicion of two counts of rape of a child, three counts of sodomy of a child and three counts of sexual abuse of a child.

A fourth roommate, Zach Baker, told Fox 13 that he slept through the gunfire. [...]

Police said they suspected alcohol was involved.

[Lemur]

Namibian "Space Balls" Mystery Solved



The mysterious large metallic ball that fell out of the sky in Namibia, sparking considerable panic, is most likely a fuel tank from an unmanned rocket.

The hollow "space ball", which weighs six kilograms and has a circumference of 1.1 metres, was found near a village on a remote grassland about 750km from the capital, Windhoek.

Locals reported hearing several small explosions a few days earlier and baffled authorities contacted NASA and the European space agency foradvice. Internet rumours began swirling that it may be evidence of extra-terrestrial life. [...]

Several such large balls have dropped in southern Africa, Australia and Latin America in the past 20 years, according to reports.

[Lemur]

First World Watching-Paint-Dry Championships



Apparently the most boring thing to do is watch paint dry so what better test of endurance and concentration than the World Watching Paint Dry Championships, which are due to be held in the UK next year.

Those looking to compete in the championships must send in a picture of themselves watching paint dry and state the longest time they’ve managed to stare at a wall of drying paint without looking away.

They will also need to tell organisers what their favourite colour is and why.

A shortlist will then be drawn up and those contestants will be invited to attend an ultimate final in front of media at a location in central England.

The final stare down will see six paint watchers from around the world fight it out for the international title and an iPad.

A spokesman for the organisers LocalTraders.com said: 'We’ve all heard the phrase, "I’d rather watch paint dry" and so we have decided the time has come to give people the chance to do so, for as long as they can bear.

'You don’t need to be physically fit or participate in a vigorous training regime, what’s more important is mental strength, concentration and endurance.

'Previous paint-watching experience isn’t essential, but a bit of practice might help prepare contestants for the mammoth task ahead of them.'

[naut]

Hey, you found my job!

[Hamata]

Namibian "Space Balls" Mystery Solved



The mysterious large metallic ball that fell out of the sky in Namibia, sparking considerable panic, is most likely a fuel tank from an unmanned rocket.

The hollow "space ball", which weighs six kilograms and has a circumference of 1.1 metres, was found near a village on a remote grassland about 750km from the capital, Windhoek.

Locals reported hearing several small explosions a few days earlier and baffled authorities contacted NASA and the European space agency foradvice. Internet rumours began swirling that it may be evidence of extra-terrestrial life. [...]

Several such large balls have dropped in southern Africa, Australia and Latin America in the past 20 years, according to reports.

that's quite possibley the weirdest story i've read in my entire life nice fined :)

[Lemur]

Island Nation Samoa to Skip Friday, Travel to Future



Samoa's tourism board notes, "we will lose one day in our lives as there will be no Friday 30th December 2011 in the history of Samoa."

At midnight on Thursday, Dec. 29, Samoa's calendar will leap ahead to Saturday Dec. 31 as it redraws the International Date Line to move to the western side after over a century on the east. [...]

The shift opens up a myriad of opportunities for fact-throwing, time-traveling tourists.

"You can have two birthdays or two wedding anniversaries on the same date without leaving the Samoan chain," Samoa's colorful and notoriously whimsical Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi suggested in May when the announcement was made.

In Samoa, the mood is predictably laid back.

[Lemur]

[Insert Obligatory Snakes on a Plane Joke]

An exotic animal salesman tried to board a flight from Argentina to Europe with almost 250 undeclared poisonous snakes and endangered reptiles in his baggage, each meticulously labeled with its Latin name.

Czech citizen Karel Abelovsky, 51, was detained after police spotted wriggling reptiles in the X-ray scanner at Buenos Aires' international airport and made him open the checked baggage. They found 247 exotic and endangered species in all, packed inside plastic containers, bags, and even socks. [...]

Judge Marcelo Aguinsky believes the boa constrictors, poisonous pit vipers and coral snakes, lizards and spiders could have escaped the cloth suitcase in the unpressurized cargo hold of the Dec. 7 Iberia flight to Madrid, and perhaps attacked people there or at his final destination in Prague, where antidotes for South American snakes aren't common, the source added.