News of the Weird

[Lemur]

Corpse Impregnates Woman

A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients—a dead man. The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.

According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded have sex with him. Much to her surprise, the alleged victim came to orgasm after several minutes. A few weeks later, Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test while receiving a routine medical exam. Upon telling her doctor the circumstances leading to the conception, the police were notified. Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her dilapidated trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary.

In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support.

[drone]

If the paternity test comes up positive, Lemur wins the thread.

[Lemur]

Nah, actually it looks like I lose the thread big-time. Checked Snopes, and it seems I've been bamboozled. Oh well, this is the danger when you trawl the internets for weird news; sometimes you get duped.

[Vladimir]

Nah, actually it looks like I lose the thread big-time. Checked Snopes, and it seems I've been bamboozled. Oh well, this is the danger when you trawl the internets for weird news; sometimes you get duped.

I don't care if it's true or not. That was excellent!

[InsaneApache]

A worrying thought for 2012.......
10 years ago Bob Hope died
5 years ago Johnny Cash died
A couple of months ago Steve Jobs died
A few weeks ago Jimmy Saville died
Now we have no Hope, no Cash, no Jobs and nobody left to Fix It
Let's hope nothing happens to Ed Balls.

[Gregoshi]

...Let's hope nothing happens to Ed Balls.

Sorry, Ed, but I wish something did happen to you - then IA would not have had the balls to post that.

[Gregoshi]

Nah, actually it looks like I lose the thread big-time. Checked Snopes, and it seems I've been bamboozled. Oh well, this is the danger when you trawl the internets for weird news; sometimes you get duped.

Good. The world does not need another deadbeat dad.

[Vladimir]

A worrying thought for 2012.......
10 years ago Bob Hope died
5 years ago Johnny Cash died
A couple of months ago Steve Jobs died
A few weeks ago Jimmy Saville died
Now we have no Hope, no Cash, no Jobs and nobody left to Fix It
Let's hope nothing happens to Ed Balls.

Today is Friday the 13th. There are multiple Friday the 13ths this year. They're all 13 weeks apart....

[Lemur]

But it was 'wear your fake penis to work' day

A northeastern Pennsylvania woman is suing a South Jersey-based maker of frozen treats and other snack foods, claiming that she was wrongfully fired because she wore a prosthetic penis to work.

Pauline Davis, 45, wore the device to the J&J Snack Foods plant in Moosic, Lackawanna County, while she contemplated a gender change, according to a federal civil-rights complaint filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Scranton. She confided in several co-workers about the device, and someone told management, according to the complaint.

She subsequently was fired from her job as a packer/line inspector. Her termination, she claims, was discriminatory because a male co-worker who wore female clothing and prostheses and took hormone treatments was not fired nor disciplined.

Further, argued her Bucks County-based attorney, Lalena J. Turchi, her fake penis was concealed and "in no way interfered with her ability to do her job."

[Lemur]

Bed Bath & Beyond sells a special glow



Metal tissue holders contaminated with low levels of radioactive material may have been distributed to Bed, Bath & Beyond stores in more than 20 states including New York, federal regulators said Thursday.

Nuclear Regulatory Commission spokesman David McIntyre said the home products company had pulled the tissue holder from its stores. [...]

“If someone has one of these, they could receive a small radiation dose from it,” he said. For example, he said someone keeping one of the boxes on a vanity in the bathroom and spending about 30 minutes a day near it for a year would receive the equivalent of a couple of chest x-rays." [...]

The contamination was first discovered in California when two packages bound for Bed, Bath & Beyond stores in Santa Clara and San Jose containing four tissue holders triggered radiation alarms at truck scales, according to a Jan. 6 report posted on the NRC website.

The products were shipped from India through the port of Newark, N.J., the report said. The tissue holders are distributed by Tatara Group of Piscataway, N.J. The Dual Ridge line of products is described on the company’s website as having a “brushed finish.”

[Papewaio]

Low level long term doses of radiation may in fact be healthy. Anyhow the background radiation varies from place to place. Even different rooms might have different levels of radiation due to building materials and air flow.

The bigger worry is if the tissue gets radioactive particles embedded in the fibers and someone then inhales it. Most low level radiation (alpha particles) can't penetrate the skin, they do however cause havoc in lung tissue.

[Tellos Athenaios]

The "all-time diva of flies".

American popular music luminary Beyoncé has had a species of horse fly named after her in honour of the one-time Destiny Child singer's celebrated bottom.

[InsaneApache]

UV.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Global economy translation snafu #6937.3

Rivals Coca-Cola fared no better with their first
foray into China, when their initial translation (Ke-kou-ke-la) was found to
mean 'bite the wax tadpole' or 'female horse stuffed with wax', depending on the
dialect.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz1jiAOq4Z1

[Tellos Athenaios]

UV.

Not to mention IR.

[naut]

You've piqued my interest, sir. In what way could radiation be healthy? I'll admit to not knowing much about radiation outside of "It's bad, it's invisible, and it goes through stuff."

Superpowers.

[Vladimir]

Global economy translation snafu #6937.3

I found this on the page: ..."the German word Fdhrt,..."

What are you Germans up to? First it's words the size of a sentence now you're not using vowels?! Is this an attempt to shorten the language?

Oh, and I'll have the Latte please.

[Tellos Athenaios]

No it's just that their spell check not so great, they probably meant Fahrt.

[Lemur]

Do you ever look at your merkin and say, 'Not luxurious enough?'



Real Housewives of New York's Cindy Barshop's Completely Bare body waxing salon has come up with the most trivial use for the fur industry in the history of humanity: "the Foxy Bikini, in which the bikini line is waxed bare and replaced with a pubic wig made from real fox fur." It costs $225, comes in multiple artificial neon hues, and looks like nightmare porno from the id of Dr. Seuss. I hereby move to name this monstrous device a "furkin."

[drone]

Pair this up with a tasteful vajazzling and hit the town!

[Lemur]

Strip club apologizes for MLK-themed promo



A flyer promoting a Miami strip club's "I Have a Dream Bash" featuring MLK holding wads of cash next to scantily-clad women has its creator taking plenty of flack.

Miami Beach graphic designer Jeffrey Darnell Paul says he didn't realize the flyer, made for The Office strip club at 250 Northeast 183rd Street, would generate the controversy it has.

"I wasn't trying to disrespect anybody...it wasn't on my mind that it would escalate to something like this," Paul told NBC Miami Monday. "It was just supposed to be a promotional thing, it wasn't about disgracing Martin Luther King, it wasn't about that." [...]

"It was proposed to me like a birthday bash for Martin Luther King, I put a flyer together without thinking about the effects it would have," said Paul, who is also known as DJ Big Boy. "It's something that I really didn't think about."

[aimlesswanderer]

"It's something that I really didn't think about."

Highlighted all you really need to know.

[Ronin]

There's no such thing as bad taste, only people who take things too seriously. I'd go to the MLK bash at my local strip club, lol.

agreed....people need to take the stick out of their collective ass.
MLK was a great man that did much for the civil rights movement in the US, it is also well established that he enjoyed the ladies....both are true and one thing does not contradict the other.

[GeneralHankerchief]

I usually don't post in the Backroom, but this was just too good to pass up.

Napoleon's final dream realized: He's getting his own theme park.

I don't know which line about this article gets me the most: The fact that his two most famous losses are getting big play in the park, the fact that it's built over the site of one of his victories, or the line that it's "going to be fun for the [whole] family."

Also, I really want to go...

[Veho Nex]

I thought marriage was between two living beings.

[Gregoshi]

I thought marriage was between two living beings.

"...'til Deff do us part?"

[Hosakawa Tito]

Our Feline OverLords!

[Lemur]

Dolphins Speak Whale in Their Sleep

A group of five captive dolphins in France have been recorded making whale-like noises late at night — despite the fact that they have only heard whale sounds as recordings during their daytime dolphin shows.

If the sounds are confirmed to be mimicking whales, it would be the first example of dolphins "saving up" a sound to practice later. And since the whale sounds are only uttered at night, it's possible the whale sounds are a dolphin version of sleep-talking. [...]

To make sure they weren't hearing things, the researchers played slowed-down and regular-speed audio of the calls to 20 volunteers, along with regular dolphin whistles, slowed-down dolphin whistles, and real whale songs. They found that the volunteers correctly identified dolphin whistles as dolphin whistles and whale song as whale song 88 percent to 99 percent of the time. But 72 percent of the time, the listeners misconstrued the dolphin's whale-like whistles as real whale song.

[Lemur]

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

A Republican state senator in Oklahoma has introduced a bill banning aborted human fetuses in food, despite the fact that there are no known foods or food products that actually contain aborted fetuses.

Sen. Ralph Shortey of Oklahoma City introduced on Tuesday Senate Bill 1418, which prohibits "the sale or manufacture of food or products which contain aborted human fetuses." He says he based the bill on an article he read online about an anti-abortion group boycotting companies that allegedly use embryonic stem cells to research and develop artificial sweeteners.

“People are thinking that this has to do with fetuses being chopped up and put in our burritos,” Shortey told NewsOK. "“That's not the case. It's beyond that." [...]

The FDA confirmed on Tuesday that it is "not aware of this particular concern."

[Ronin]

same reason why "under God" was put in the pledge of allegiance?
There is not proof communist infiltrators would burst into flames while uttering that sentence....but you never know right??