News of the Weird

[Lemur]

Giant sea worm terrorizes aquarium



This beastie looks like a horror movie monster – perhaps an amalgamation of one of the bloodthirsty giant worms from Tremors and the terrifying extraterrestrials in Aliens – but let's give "Barry" a break. In a classic case of B-movie baddie turned A-list luminary, the affectionately named giant sea worm was yesterday discovered terrorizing other aquatic life in an aquarium in Cornwall, England [...]

As in all good horror films, Barry went about all that bloodcurdling business in the shadows to begin with, stealthily stalking the victims. Unobserved by the all staff cast at Newquay's Blue Reef Aquarium, the four-foot long sea worm attacked and mutilated coral reefs and apparently maimed a prize Tang fish in the tank he had infiltrated. When alarm bells about an intruder started ringing among the workers, the cunning critter devoured not only the bait but also the hooks on traps that had been set overnight. Barry even bit through a 20-pound fishing line, before eventually being lured out with fish scraps in a gripping climax, as the aquarium display was dismantled rock by rock.

Since being captured, Barry – who most likely arrived as a juvenile stowaway in a coral delivery from another aquarium – has undergone an identity transformation. Having been given a special tank, the former creepy nasty is now a bona fide, internationally renowned celebrity who visitors from far and wide are flocking to see – from well behind the safety glass. The aquarium has even been contacted with requests for interviews.

Thought to be a tropical polychaete worm, Barry is a real life sea monster, armed with sharp, powerful jaws that can slice prey in two, and covered with thousands of bristles purportedly capable of numbing a human with their sting.

[Lemur]

Cinema shows Paranormal Activity instead of Madagascar 3

'Technical error' sees children 'crying and screaming' and running for exits

A cinema full of children waiting to see 'Madagascar 3' were shown supernatural horror film 'Paranormal Activity 4' by accident.

Shocked families at Nottingham's Cineworld had to rush their children out of the auditorium as they realised that the wrong film was being projected.

But not before a scene at the very start of the film—featuring a bloodied female corpse being thrown at the camera—upset children as young as five, among around 25 families watching.

Natasha Lewis of Bulwell in Nottingham, who took her eight-year-old son Dylan to the screening, said: “They started playing the movie and I thought - this doesn't look right. And then I recognised the opening sequence as a flash back to the first movie, which I saw a couple of years ago.

“It opens on the most terrifying scene in the first film - where a body shoots full pelt towards the camera. It's enough to make grown men jump, so you can imagine the terror in these young faces.

“Everybody just scrambled for the exits, all you could hear were children crying and screaming. Everyone was very upset.

[Lemur]

Tricking people into a lesbian marriage sure sounds complicated



A Texas woman has been arrested on charges that she impersonated a doctor in a bizarre scheme to trick a friend into engaging in a lesbian love affair and becoming her life partner.

Angela Buchanan, 30, of Lufkin, Texas, has been charged with online impersonation, a Class A misdemeanor. [...]

According to the arrest affidavit, Buchanan contacted a longtime friend on Yahoo Messenger in March, saying she had breast cancer in 2008 and was now suffering from a pre-cancerous mass. Buchanan told her friend -- a 51-year-old woman who is not identified in court documents -- that she was being treated by a Lufkin-area gynecologist.

Buchanan's friend was later contacted by the doctor on Yahoo Messenger. Unbeknownst to the woman, the individual posing as "Doc" was actually Buchanan pretending to be a doctor, police said.

"[The victim] [said] that 'Doc' advised that the pre-cancerous mass in Buchanan's breast could possibly be delayed or cured by an increase in certain hormone production," the affidavit said. "'Doc' advised that this hormone production could be stimulated by sexual intercourse. 'Doc' began to recommend to [the victim] that she participate in sexual activity [with Buchanan] in order to bolster this hormone production and possibly save her friend's life."

The victim told police she was initially reluctant, due to religious convictions, but ultimately decided to "make this sacrifice as it might benefit Buchanan's medical condition," the affidavit said.

The nature, frequency and duration of the sex between the two women was allegedly directed by "Doc," via Yahoo Messenger. [...]

[I]n August, Buchanan and the victim were married.

According to the affidavit, Buchanan had convinced the victim to agree to the same-sex union. Buchanan allegedly told her she was involved in a child custody dispute with a former same-sex partner and their marriage would help in the legal battle.

After the marriage, the victim's daughter told her mom she suspected Buchanan was actually "Doc."

[Major Robert Dump]

epic

[Ronin]

Cinema shows Paranormal Activity instead of Madagascar 3

People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.......
:D

[naut]

Giant sea worm terrorizes aquarium

The Bobbit worm! Absolutely disgusting!

[Ronin]

Radio station calls standup comedian by mistake when trying to schedule an interview with John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten of Sex Pistols fame)
Doug Stanhope (the comedian in question) first tries to warn them of their mistake, is ignored, and decides to just put on a fake accent and go ahead with the interview.

the radio host doesn´t catch on.

article



Doug Stanhope is the best comedian active today.

[drone]

Radio station calls standup comedian by mistake when trying to schedule an interview with John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten of Sex Pistols fame)
Doug Stanhope (the comedian in question) first tries to warn them of their mistake, is ignored, and decides to just put on a fake accent and go ahead with the interview.

This is what you want, this is what you get.

[Ronin]

Shark falls out of the sky onto golf course

[Gregoshi]

Shark falls out of the sky onto golf course

Fore! Look out, it's Greg Norman!

[Vladimir]

Shark falls out of the sky onto golf course

Only someone from NY or LA could have pity on a shark.

[Lemur]

Obese Dachshund Media Star Locked in Custody Battle



Obie, a 5-year-old dachshund who weighed 77 pounds when his elderly owners gave him up for adoption, made headlines after his foster owner Nora Vanatta put him on a weight-loss plan and publicized his efforts on a Facebook page titled, “Biggest Loser, Doxie Edition.” Vanatta, a certified veterinary technician, told the New York Daily News that she initially agreed to care for the dog — who came to her with the name AJ — for a short time. [...]

Under Vanatta’s eye, Obie has lost 15 pounds over the last two months and appeared on NBC’s Today and ABC’s Good Morning America. She plans on introducing him to treadmill exercises and swim therapy, and acknowledges that he may eventually need surgery to remove excess skin, according to the dog’s Facebook page. Vanatta has even set up a PayPal page for Obie, which she says has received thousands of dollars in donations.

But now Vanatta is facing a challenger. The owner of Oregon Dachshund Rescue, the organization that brought Obie to her door, believes she is caring for the canine improperly and has filed a lawsuit in hopes of getting him back.

“The dog was surrendered to me,” Jenell Rangan told the Daily News. “Nora is just a foster. I trusted her to bring him back.”

Although Rangan believes Obie’s appearances on national media were inappropriate, she told the Daily News she was more upset by the way in which he traveled to his TV spots.

“He’s a dog. He’s not a celebrity,” Rangan said. “I was told that Obie was being flown first class, but then I found out he was on a six-hour flight to New York in cargo.”

Vanatta, however, believes the publicity is nothing but positive. She hopes Obie’s weight-loss journey will inspire others — both people and dogs — to lose weight. “It is so important to introduce pups and kids to a healthy lifestyle and food choices as early as possible,” she wrote on Facebook. “Prevention is the key!” She told KOMO-TV that the dog has already made an impact and that she believed that was whyRangan wanted him back.

“He’s famous and he’s touched so many people and I think they regret not taking him on in the first place,” Vanatta said. While she acknowledged to the TV station that Obie wasn’t hers, she reportedly doesn’t think theOregon Dachshund Rescue has rights to custody, either, as no paperwork had been exchanged.

Both Vanatta and Rangan appeared at a Washington County court for a hearing Monday, but the judge unable to determine to whom the dog belongs. For now, Obie will stay with Vanatta, while the two sides prepare for a possible trial, KATU News reported.

“It makes me sick because he was never in her custody,” Vanatta told the Daily News. “I can’t understand why she’s spending money fighting this because he’s so happy.”

Vanatta also said she wants to keep the dog until he reaches a normal dachshund weight, which is between 40 and 50 pounds. She told KOMO-TV that she has Obie’s best interests at heart.

“I just want what’s best for him,” Vanatta said. “And he’s doing well here. It just doesn’t make sense to take him away now.”

[rvg]

Can't they just starve it for a week or two?

[Tellos Athenaios]

Meet the Super Great Toilet Keeper

Just when you thought Japan had moved on from its stereotyped image as a nation that creates bizarre, useless technology, it comes up with the Super Great Toilet Keeper (SGTK) – a bespoke toilet designed to save penalties.

The football-mad throne is a bizarre, one-off collaborative project between Japan’s leading toilet-maker Toto and a national football pools biz of the same name.

[Vladimir]

"It is able to process and react to balls shot at 160 km/h."

Maybe it's like the shields in Dune. You just need to, um, move really slow.

[Kadagar_AV]

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/39...ugly-child.htm


Disturbing on quite a few levels...

[Crazed Rabbit]

Heeeeeeeeeeee's back!

Police: Sex offender asking women to 'kick him in the groin'

PORTLAND, Ore. -- Police in Portland say a convicted sex offender is using Craigslist to find women willing to repeatedly "kick him in the groin."

Brandon James Clifford, a registered sex offender, has been placing ads on Craiglist across the country. In the ads, he says he's looking for a specific type of woman. In ads posted in Portland, Salt Lake City, Richmond and Boston, Clifford writes that he's looking for women with strong legs, such as soccer players or kick boxers.

The ads say he wants help teaching self-defense to college-age women, but police say he actually uses the woman for "a violent form of sexual gratification where they kick him in the groin."

Clifford has stayed one step ahead of the law in part by only posting ads in cities where he doesn't live. Instead, police say he flies in to meet his victims.

However, it was his recent interest in Portland - he's tried twice now to find victims here - that has him back on the radar. A woman who saw the ad grew suspicious and contacted Portland police to cooperate in a sting operation.

The woman, who asked to not be identified to protect her privacy, said she thought she was pursuing a job opportunity when she saw the ad asking for female soccer players to teach self-defense classes. She messaged the man offering the job.

"He asked me if I was comfortable repeatedly kicking and he referenced the groin," she said. "I said 'Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem, but I mean, it's terrible for you. At least you guys are wearing pads, right?' And he responded with 'Oh no, we're trained to take it.'"
...
The woman and a friend got suspicious and did an online search. That's when they found news reports about Clifford, including one from the New York Post in 2001 about a "federal immigration agent from New York who admitted to trying to lure a 15-year-old girl to a motel to help him act out a violent sexual fantasy."

Clifford was arrested when he showed up to her middle school, according to news reports.

Police in Portland said Clifford flies around the country to act out his fantasy.

CR

[Lemur]

North Korea proud of its human rights record



North Korea's U.N. delegation declared on Friday that it was proud of Pyongyang's social system and human rights record and rejected as baseless a U.N. monitor's report that described appalling human rights abuses in the reclusive country.

Pyongyang was reacting to a report to the U.N. General Assembly's Third Committee, which focuses on rights issues, from U.N. special rapporteur on North Korea Marzuki Darusman that described "a wide range of human rights violations."

Among the abuses Darusman referred to in his annual report on North Korea were the alleged "extensive use of political prison camps, poor prison conditions and prisoners being subjected to forced labor, torture and corporal punishment." [...]

"We have nothing to hide," Kim said. "We have nothing to be afraid of. On the contrary, we are proud of our superior system of promoting and protecting human rights in our country, including free medical care and free education system."

"We will further develop and strengthen our social system that guarantees promotion and protection of human rights," he added.

[Lemur]

“The Smell of a Boy’s Anus” Scented Oil on Sale Now in Japan



Japanese adult goods company, Tamatoys, has unveiled the latest addition to their series of themed fragrance oils: “The Smell of a Boy’s Anus.”

Sold under the tagline, “The forbidden scent … experience that smell one more time”, The Smell of a Boy’s Anus is a “real anal smell bottle” that captures the “pheromone emitted from the anus of a cute boy.”

Please note the quotes; I am not making this up. This is all translated this directly from the product page on Tamatoy’s website.

If you’re like me, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “the smell of a boy’s anus” is the last thing you would want to rub on stuff to get you in the mood—which, I would assume, is the intended use for this product.

However, Tamatoys wipes away that suspicion, asserting that, “This product does not smell like ****. It is purely the smell of anus.”

And what does that smell like? “It has a strong musky perfume smell, tinged with a pungent odor.” A fancy way, perhaps, of saying it smells like ass.

Understandably, the product has quite a few Japanese netizens shaking their heads in disapproval. “I can’t believe this…I wasn’t aware Japanese were such pitiful humans,” says one commenter.

Another laments: “Couldn’t expect less from the country of perverts. If the rest of the world thinks we’re perverts, fine. We just need to let them know that at least we’re not a country of rapists.”

[rvg]

This should be a hit in Afghanistan.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Next they need to invent a robotic ball kicking machine that looks like an anime character, to help out CR's guy.

[Lemur]

Drunk broker bought approx 70% of world's oil, remembers nothing



On June the 30th 2009 oil mysteriously jumped by more than $1.50 a barrel during the night, to reach its highest price in eight months, the kind of swing that is caused by a major geopolitical event. [...]

Steve Perkins, a long standing, senior broker at PVM Oil Futures, had managed to spend $520 million on oil futures contracts throughout the night.

On the morning of the 30th an admin clerk called Mr Perkins to ask why he had bought 7 million barrels of crude during the night. Mr Perkins had no recollection of the transactions, and it turned out that he had made the trades during a “drunken blackout.” [...]

Between the hours of 1.22am and 3.41am, Mr Perkins gradually bought 69 percent of the global market, whilst driving prices up from $71.40 to $73.05, by bidding higher each time.

At 6.30am, presumably sobering up and realising what he’d done, he sent a message to his managing director claiming an unwell relative meant he would not be able to make it into work.

[Gregoshi]

On the morning of the 30th an admin clerk called Mr Perkins to ask why he had bought 7 million barrels of crude during the night. Mr Perkins had no recollection of the transactions, and it turned out that he had made the trades during a “drunken blackout.”...

Roll out the barrel (x7 million)

[Lemur]

Because nothing says "let them eat cake" like a $100k fantasy chicken hutch



Dawn breaks. The hens descend from their bespoke Versailles-inspired Le Petit Trianon house to their playground below for a morning wing stretch. Slipping on your wellies, you start for the coop and are greeted by the pleasant clucking of your specially chosen flock and the site of the poshest hen house ever imagined. Your custom-made multilevel dwelling features a nesting area, a "living room" for nighttime roosting, a broody room, a library filled with chicken and gardening books for visitors of the human kind, and, of course, an elegant chandelier. The environment suits them well as you notice the fresh eggs awaiting morning collection. Nearby, you pick fresh vegetables or herbs from your custom-built raised gardens. You've always fancied yourself a farmer—now thanks to Heritage Hen Farm, you're doing it in the fanciest way possible!

• The buyer will receive an initial farm consultation and grounds survey and two additional onsite visits from Heritage Hen Farm expert, Svetlana Simon.
• Simon will select three to ten heritage-breed hens carefully selected to suit your region.
• Installation includes two custom-designed and installed raised vegetable or herb garden beds.
• Package includes a multilevel dwelling, nesting area, "living room," broody room, library with books, two Heritage Hen Farm pasture grazing trays, waterer, feeder, and chandelier. All other props and furnishings not included.

[Lemur]

Utah paperboy, 14, attacked by ferocious goat named Voldemort



The 14-year-old was on his paper route in Smithfield, Utah before dawn when the animal approached him in the darkness.

Gessel first thought the shadowy figure was a dog.

“Then it made a weird noise, kind of like a grunting noise,” he told the News. “I’m like, ‘What the heck is that?’ ”

Gessel claims Voldemort headbutted him off his bike and then trampled him.

“It just freaked me out when it stood up on its hind legs and just wrapped its front legs around me and pulled me off,” he said.

Gessel dashed up a nearby tree where he hid from the ferocious animal, which allegedly began terrorizing other passersby, for nearly an hour.

The teen’s parents, meanwhile, had reported the boy missing after he failed to return home from his paper route.

Cops figured out where Gessel was when they got another call regarding a boy — and a goat.

Marissa Benson, Voldemort’s owner, said her pet’s actions were out of character.

[Vladimir]

"Regarding a boy and a goat"? Sounds like a party in the 'stan.

[InsaneApache]

You know what's really weird?

That there's still paperboys.

[Tellos Athenaios]

Woman charged for sex with human skeleton

A woman in western Sweden who was arrested after police found skeletons in her apartment has now been charged for using the bones as sex toys, a hobby she claimed was motivated by an interest in history.

and:

Do you know a chimp who's feeling doleful? Mid-life crisis, probably

Boffins investigating the feelings of hundreds of chimpanzees, orangutans and varied great apes say that the creatures get depressed in their middle years just as humans - perhaps especially human males - do. They consider that this affirms Charles Darwin's famous dictum to the effect that if we would seek to understand ourselves we would do well to have a think about baboons first.

"We hoped to understand a famous scientific puzzle: why does human happiness follow an approximate U-shape through life?" explains Professor Andrew Oswald of Warwick uni. "We ended up showing that it cannot be because of mortgages, marital breakup, mobile phones, or any of the other paraphernalia of modern life. Apes also have a pronounced midlife low, and they have none of those."

Oswald and his colleagues found this out by evaluating the cheeriness of some 508 simians living in zoos around the world "whose well-being was assessed by raters familiar with the individual apes". They found that just as with humans, apes start out in life feeling pretty good about things. Then they hit middle age, and start doing the chimp or orangutan equivalent of spaffing the kids' college fund on a sports car or running off with the receptionist.

[Lemur]

NYPD cannibal cop discussed having 'girl meat' for Thanksgiving



Gilberto Valle, the alleged NYC "cannibal cop" charged with plotting to kidnap, torture, cook and eat at least 100 women, had discussed having "girl meat" for Thanksgiving.

Prosecutors read a transcript of an online chat between Valle and an unidentified male in February in which he made the remark. They read the transcript during Valle's bail hearing Tuesday in Manhattan federal court.

Valle was reported as saying that while Thanksgiving was still a long way off, he was getting a plan in motion to abduct a woman for the meal.

His lawyer has said the alleged plot was pure fantasy. No women were actually harmed.

The judge denied bail on Tuesday, calling Valle's behavior "depraved, bizarre, aberrational." He set the trial for Jan. 22.

Valle has pleaded not guilty.

[rvg]

This was an awesome movie.