News of the Weird

[King Henry V]

Eh, save it for the Election Thread. We have other Weird News to consider:

I'll just nip in ahead of Gregoshi and say that I hear this was near the resevoir, where he rear-ended a big rig before spilling his load.

The driver was quite clearly not putting Safety First when driving.

In other news, the absurdist rendition of the martini as a symbol for the moral and socio-political decline of America.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Eh, save it for the Election Thread. We have other Weird News to consider:

I'll just nip in ahead of Gregoshi and say that I hear this was near the resevoir, where he rear-ended a big rig before spilling his load.

Eh, too bad he couldn't keep his load erect.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

CR

[Ronin]

it´s always sad when a guy can´t hold is load long enough.

[King Henry V]

The scourge of alcohol, I tell you! It's everywhere!

And if you wondering, yes, I am slightly alcohol-obsessed.

[InsaneApache]

Eh, too bad he couldn't keep his load erect.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

CR

That's a smashing pumpkin.

[Viking]

Eh, too bad he couldn't keep his load erect.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

CR

Yeah, who didn't feel the excitement when those two pumpkins were dropped?

[naut]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

Quite the squash.

[Gregoshi]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

Oh no, not again...

[Lemur]

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

[seireikhaan]

ROFLMAO!!

[spmetla]

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

It'd be fantastic for any (unmarried) man to have a thank you ad in the newspaper for his *special* services for several women.

Anyways...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a show unlike that anything you have seen before:
Truly Enormous Pumpkins Crushing a Car

CR

I've never even imagined that pumpkins could grow so big. Perhaps we should be watching out for "The Great Pumpkin" in addition to octosquids.

[CountArach]

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

LMAO!

[Viking]

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

Whoah, that's rather stiff.

[Lemur]

A 5'9" man kills a bear. With a stick. Mucho hombre!

'Bring it on, sweetie': Man kills bear with stick (and he's got the scars to prove it)

A man who was attacked by a black bear while walking his dogs survived only after crushing the creature's skull with a stick.

Jim West needed 60 stitches on his head and body to close wounds from the terrifying attack.

The 45 year old was out walking his dogs on Saturday in British Columbia, Canada, when, he said, he heard a grunt and turned around.

'All I saw was eyes full of hatred,' he said afterwards.

'I had no option … So I stuck my foot up and tried to kick her in the face.'

The bear responded by attacking him and knocking him to the ground.

'I rolled onto my stomach and clasped my hands at the back of my neck,' Mr West said.

'She tore into my skull at the back of my head, moved over and bit me on the left side of my body, on my ribs and left arm.'

But Mr West was not about to go down without a fight. Battling to his feet, he managed to grab a stick about as thick as his arm.

'I said, in effect, bring it on sweetie,' he said. 'I took one step forward — smash! I swung the stick and broke it over her head.

'She kind of stood there and shook it off, like she was stunned. I realised if I didn't continue the attack she would knock me to the ground again and I would not get up.

'I swung my piece of wood like a sledgehammer driving spikes and I kept swinging till she was lying flat on the ground and there was blood coming out of her nose.'

The 5ft 9in man eventually crushed the bear's skull with the stick, killing it. He then walked a mile to a local lodge, where he was transported to hospital.

Even conservation officers were shocked by the terrifying incident, saying they were surprised he had lived.

[TB666]

Heck yeah, the guy deserves congratulations!

Why do I have a feeling that George didn't want them to correct the ad ??

[Louis VI the Fat]

Come on people, get over it. It's just an ad, eh? Sheesh.

What, no women ever placed ads thanking you for your lionide performances before? Trust me, it's not worth making a fuzz about. I mean, I don't need it publicised, but it is the thought that counts, right?

[PBI]

Bee Gees song could save your life.

Personally, I find the idea that the last thing I ever hear could be a BeeGees song rather troubling.

[FactionHeir]

Hmmm while I don't know the song, I don't know how that is worse than "Nelly the Elephant" that we are currently told of (another one bites the dust does it too, but that is considered offensive in that scenario)

[Lemur]

Man arrested for sex with car wash vacuum. Is it so wrong to love a suctioned tube?

Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

[CountArach]

Sucks to be him...

Meanwhile Airliner had a near-miss with UFO in 1991

A passenger jet bound for Heathrow Airport had a near miss with a UFO, Ministry of Defence files reveal.

The captain of the Alitalia airliner shouted "Look out" to his co-pilot at the sight of a brown missile-shaped object shooting past them overhead.

Civil Aviation Authority and military investigations could not explain the 1991 incident near Lydd in Kent.
[...]
And the files also contain a letter from a woman claiming to be from the Sirius system who said her spacecraft - also containing two "Spectrans" with "Mr Spock ears" - crashed in Britain during World War II.

UFO expert and journalism lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University, Dr David Clarke, said the documents would shed new light on relatively little-known sightings.

He said some conspiracy theorists would already have decided that the release of the papers was a "whitewash".

He added: "Because the subject is bedevilled by charlatans and lunatics, it is career suicide to have your name associated with UFOs, which is a real pity.

[InsaneApache]

The captain of the Alitalia airliner shouted "Look out" to his co-pilot at the sight of a brown missile-shaped object shooting past them overhead.

Doh! Someone flushed the lavatory.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Not so much weird as, well, fun. Chicks and tiggers.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Baby doll on Jihad

[Lemur]

In honor of the upcoming release of Fallout 3, perhaps we Orgahs should pool our resources to buy a vault under central London?

If you need a secure location to ensure your survival in the coming apocalypse, or simply crave a spacious underground lair, then consider Central London’s deep level shelters. Built in 1940 as air-raid shelters, the underground tunnels have since served as a war room, library, and telephone exchange for British secret intelligence. And now you can own a shelter of your very own.

The Kingsway Tunnels, located 200 feet below street level and owned by British telecom provider BT, went up for sale yesterday. In the last few decades, the tunnels’ primary use has been for communications, having served as the telephone exchange for the hotline between the US and Soviet presidents. But the original purpose of the shelter was to withstand a foreign attack, and, at the end of the world, the accommodations should prove cozy for you and 8,000 of your closest friends.

[Lemur]

Remember how Michael Jackson was going to build a 50-foot robot replica of himself, with frickin' laser beams for eyes? Well, now he's done himself a little favor by moving in right next to a Las Vegas school. Parents are upset, but I don't see why. So the school takes pupils aged four to thirteen, what's the beef?

[Papewaio]

Giant spider snapped eating bird in backyard near Cairns

Joel Shakespeare, the head spider keeper at NSW's Australian Reptile Park, said the spider was a golden orb weaver.

"Normally they prey on large insects, it's unusual to see one eating a bird," he said.

Mr Shakepeare said he had seen golden orb weaver spiders as big as a human hand but the northern species in tropical areas were known to grow larger.

So the Octosquid alliance has made friends with their land living cousins and are breeding larger variants for the war...

[Lemur]

Aieeeee!

[naut]

Found some more images:

[CountArach]

Lost your pants? Have $54 million spare? Former Judge?

You might just be this guy

An appeals court has begun hearing a case brought by a former judge who is suing a drycleaners for $US54 million, claiming they lost his pants.

"A written opinion should be issued in two to four months" from three appellate judges, said Christopher Manning, attorney for Jin and Soo Chung, a South Korean immigrant couple that runs the drycleaning business.

The Washington Court of Appeals heard the case after former judge Roy Pearson last year lost the original case he brought against the couple in a lower court.

Mr Pearson says he received a pair of pants from Soo Chung in May 2005 that was not his. When he demanded Soo Chung pay him $US1,000, the price of the entire suit, she refused, convinced the pants were indeed his.

Mr Pearson claims in his case that a sign reading "satisfaction guaranteed" on the shop's door is misleading and dishonest. He is demanding $US1,500 for each day the drycleaners put up the sign.

$54 million? That's just pocket change.

[naut]

The original case is old news. He's seriously appealing the decision? That's utter pants.