What shall we apologise for next? Vote now

[English assassin]

Oh, OK, i suppose you want some sort of linky. here, this will do: http://www.guardian.co.uk/race/story/0,,2041007,00.html

An annual commemoration day is to be held to recall Britain's role in the slave trade, and the fight against it, John Prescott, the deputy prime minister, has told the Guardian....

"I think this anniversary is beginning to make us think again in the same way as the US. There is a sense of shock and horror at what went on in our history, and the sheer brutality of it. It has not yet fed into the schools. Indeed it has been kept out of the curriculum.

"We need to get the proper history told, including the good, the bad and dreadful. For instance we need to recall that parliament for the best part of a century facilitated slavery. It did not just have an overnight intellectual conversion. Public opinion made the change and forced the change on parliament. We have fed it into our minds that a Christian from Hull, William Wilberforce, came along and changed the law in 1807. It was remarkable, but the real change came from working people.

Digressing even before I get under way, its funny how the working class man thinks it was working people that ended slavery. According to the black activists on my radio it was blacks who ended slavery. Very possibly there is a disabled lesbian activist out there fuming that she has not yet been given a platform to say that it was disabled lesbians who ended slavery.

Annnyway, all this is yanking my chain for reasons far to obvious to go into here. Oh, well, OK, here's one, guess what, Africa isn't in the merde because of corrupt leaders today, its because whitey took slaves away 200 years ago. Oh, Ok then, here is another, funny how we aren't being told all about the Ottoman empires slaves? Barbary pirates slave raiding the coast of Cornwall conveniently does not seem to form part of "proper history".

So, what should we apologise for next? Any bids? Obviously it doesn't have to be anything we are responsible for. I think we should apologise for the destructio of the Great Library at Alexandria, the crusades, malaria, and the fact that Uganda has yet to send a man to the moon.

I also think there should be a Secretary of State for Apologising. Boris Johnson is he obvious choice.

[Fragony]

Don't think so much and just say $orry. And there was me thinking that england's role in slavetrade wasn't that big in the first place.

[English assassin]

Yeah, well you know what? All this victimhood and blame whitey has had the opposite effect on me. I am positively NOT sorry.

I went to Norway a few years back and NO ONE, not one person, told me how sorry they were for the Vikings. Its an outrage.

Come to think of it you Dutchies owe me an apology, not sure exactly what for yet, but there must be something. de Ruyter maybe.

[KukriKhan]

Soccer. You should apologize for soccer.

[Ja'chyra]

Well maybe they should be apologising for Aids, now I know we can't prove it came from Africa but I'm pretty sure that Africans practised slavery at the same time, if not before, we did.

Come to think of it, if all human life originated in Africa doesn't that make them responsible for pretty much everything?

Or we could all just move on and stop all the bloody whining about things that happened hundreds of years ago and, lets face it, have no effect on us.

[Kralizec]

Come to think of it you Dutchies owe me an apology, not sure exactly what for yet, but there must be something. de Ruyter maybe.

On the other hand, you owe us for the Glorious Revolution

[Adrian II]

So, what should we apologise for next?

For being a bunch of pathetic, chronically outperformed, insufferably stupid, apologetic whiners?

Sorry, old chum, that place is taken by the Dutch.

[InsaneApache]

I think we should apologise for founding the USA.

This ferver for apologising is preposterous. I'm with you EA on this one. When I was in Italy last year no-one apologised to me for invading in AD 55, and it still smarts.

Prescott should make an apology for continuosity mangling the England language, like what he said.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

Come to think of it you Dutchies owe me an apology, not sure exactly what for yet, but there must be something. de Ruyter maybe.

They thumped you in 1620 wasn't it?

Some of our African-descent "victimage merchants" keep trying to make me feel guilty for the enslaved blacks who ended up at Jamestown colony in 1623, so I think it is EXACTLY as reasonable for you to hold a grudge over Dutch iniquities from the early 17th.

Wait.....didn't they let you borrow a king or something a bit later on? And wasn't he the chap who thumped MY ancestors at the Boyne? Maybe we can all gripe and grudge against those nasty dutchies!

To the barricades!!!!!

[Adrian II]

They thumped you in 1620 wasn't it?

You are getting close. You are even dead right about the Boyne. On the other hand, we were the first to recognize the sovereign United States of America. Barbara Tuchman named a book after it: The First Salute.

[caravel]

Well the whole PR thing was usually along the lines of: "do something nasty and apologise later, preferably much later", that makes it ok. Now it's evolved into: "do something nasty, then apologise for something else, totally unrelated, that happened two hundred years ago to distract their attention... then get back to talking about the carbon footprint of the Iraq war".

[Gregoshi]

On the other hand, we were the first to recognize the sovereign United States of America.

Ah, so ultimately, it is the Dutch that are responsible for the Iraq mess.

[KukriKhan]

Ah, so ultimately, it is the Dutch that are responsible for the Iraq mess.

Yeah. If we'd have only put them in charge of the Iraq affair, they'd have offered Saddam 60 Guilders for Baghdad. Problem solved.

[English assassin]

Soccer. You should apologize for soccer.

I might if we ever won anything.

I'd like to add Hugh Grant to my earlier list of apologies.

I'd also like to apologise for Roger Moore ever having been cast as James Bond, except for Live and Let Die, which is not too bad.

[Whacker]

I'd like to profusely apologize to the rest of the world for the stupidity of my fellow Americans, whom I am deeply ashamed of, for re-electing our current government officials.

[Petrus]

I think you should apologize for being english.
But.
Given the fact that european and arabs slave traders came to buy slave from the local traders that were africans.
Which made of those africans the first part of the slave trade chain.
You should also apologize for having let slave traders rule africa until this day instead of sending them abroad.

Shame on you.

[Pannonian]

Has Britain apologised for the Opium War yet? Or don't the Chinese care about that?

[Vidar]

I'd like to profusely apologize to the Picts for coming over from Ireland and stealing there land and any unpleasantness this incurred. Sorry It wont happen again, I promise

[BDC]

I think those with proper working class blood, pre-1918, so disenfranchised, should demand an apology for centuries of being downtrodden by the rich and powerful.

And the rich and powerful had a lot more Norman blood. So you know who should be apologising to us, for everything? The French.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Digressing even before I get under way, its funny how the working class man thinks it was working people that ended slavery. According to the black activists on my radio it was blacks who ended slavery. Very possibly there is a disabled lesbian activist out there fuming that she has not yet been given a platform to say that it was disabled lesbians who ended slavery.

I ended slavery and so did my wife.

To join the parade of guilt, I have a great sin to apologise for on behalf of my nation. A sin of the utmost barbarity and cruelty, even though many nations were also complicit in its spread.

The Irish theme pub. We're so sorry, but it was just too funny watching you all lapping up the "authenticity".

Right, in the fine tradition of confession, that's off me chest, now to do it again till next Lent.

[Devastatin Dave]

I ain't sorry for ****. If there are any complaints, please address them to the nearest brick wall.

[Whacker]

sorry, but it was just too funny watching you all lapping up the "authenticity".

Aahhh... The bane of every American college town, the bars that draw the fratboys like flies and have the bouncers that won't let you in unless you are a pledge in Aye Phelta Thigh. You apology is noted and appreciated, but I don't think that you poor Irish types are really to blame for this.

[Vladimir]

Aahhh... The bane of every American college town, the bars that draw the fratboys like flies and have the bouncers that won't let you in unless you are a pledge in Aye Phelta Thigh. You apology is noted and appreciated, but I don't think that you poor Irish types are really to blame for this.

It's no doubt a conspiracy by decedents of English immigrants to stick it to the Irish once again. In the back they probably have a sign that reads "No dogs or Irish allowed".

[SwordsMaster]

I think the UK should apologise for meat pies. And Haggis. And the seventies. And possibly Paul McCartney. And Robbie Williams. Definitely Robbie Williams

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Being of mixed Welsh/Swedish/poor English I'm not really connnected to the slave trade.

The Chancellor at Exeter is Floella Benjamin, she gave a speech at the University on how we should pay reparations. The entirely white audience rejected it be a vote of 16 to 34, I think.

Now, excuse me for being so politically incorrect but don't the decendants of slaves in Europe and the US have all the same advantages that the rest of us do. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want a "thankyou for oppressing my ancestors" but I can't see how the negative outways the posative.

So I'm not remotely sorry, it has nothing to do with me.

Now, if you wanted me to apoloagise to the Iraqi's for destroying their country I might just do that, even though I didn't, and couldn't, vote for Blair.

Banquo, I feel that the English are probably more responsible for the Irish theme Pub, after all we bought it. You'll have to find something else.

Oh, as a Swede I would like to appolagise for tall beautiful women with clear blue eyes and blond hair.

As a Welshman I would like to apolagise for Leeks.

As an Englishman I would like to apolagise for Shakespeare, I'm really sorry you had to go through that at school.

[Husar]

I want to apologise for my ancestors and that they worked together with the Pope.
I also want to apologize that we elected someone from Austria to lead our nation and that our non-elected government decided to side with Austria before that.
Oh, and then I want to apologise for the EU regulations on tampon imports as well.

I also want to ask, whether you mean the brick wall nearest to me or nearest to you, Apologising Dave?

[Blodrast]

I also want to ask, whether you mean the brick wall nearest to me or nearest to you, Apologising Dave?

ROFL! Apologising Dave sounds much better than Devastatin Dave!

[Fragony]

I want to apologise for my ancestors and that they worked together with the Pope.
I also want to apologize that we elected someone from Austria to lead our nation and that our non-elected government decided to side with Austria before that.
Oh, and then I want to apologise for the EU regulations on tampon imports as well.

You forgot one tiny one, or should austria do the sorry thing now

edit: no you didn't never mind

[drone]

Oh, as a Swede I would like to appolagise for tall beautiful women with clear blue eyes and blond hair.

You don't have to apologize for that.

I want to apologize for my family starting the Civil War. I'm sure they meant well...

[Whacker]

You forgot one tiny one, or should austria do the sorry thing now

edit: no you didn't never mind

I'd like to apologize for Fragony failing at posting in this thread and life in general.

PS - AYE YAYE YAYE YAYE YAYE!!! AYEYAYEYAYEYAYEYAEYAEYAEYAEYEAY!!! I'm going to put that as coworker's Mozilla startup page tomorrow and turn up his speakers all the way when I get a chance. What the hell is that from anyway?