Belgian Election thread !

[doc_bean]

Okay, election time again in the smallest and most confusing federal country in the world !
I'll give a brief explanation on the Flemish parties, since I don't know that much about the Walloons, anyone from that side of the country is invited to add some details.

The big players :

-The 'liberals' : open-VLD

leanings:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Social liberals, economic libertarians, as far as that applies to our country. They don't want to get rid of health care, they want to keep education affordable, but they're the biggest proponents of tax cuts. they're also the ones that legalised gay marriage and euthanasia, together with the socialists.

position:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The main party of the last two governments, used up most of their political credit, probably won't be the biggest party anymore. gave recently adopted some very "left" ideas on climate and immigration.

On the other side of the language border: MR

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The big second party over there, they might possibly decrown the socialists this time.

-The socialists : SP A

-leanings

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Socialists, of course. Since we're such a socialistic country already even they propose tax cuts and a *realistic* policy. Their most controversial point seems to be about nuclear energy (they want out).

-position:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Have been in the government for the last 18 years, the traditional coalition partner, have a loyal voter base and have a very good chance of keeping their second place.

On the other side of the language border: PS

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

They 've been the biggest party there since the stone age, much of Wallony's downfall is attributed to them. We really don't like them this side of the border. If they can keep most of their electorate they're probably in the government, as has always been the case.

-The Catholics: CD&V


-leanings

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Socially conservative, for the most part. Economically pretty neutral, support tax cuts now. Their main program point seems to be "we'll do the same but better". Which seems a popular enough thought.

-position:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The most likely winner next sunday. They are allied with a small party with separatists leanings which will weaken their position in negotiating a govenrment with the Walloons.

On the other side of the language border: CDH

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Small party really, doesn't matter.

-The Nazi's: Vlaams belang


-leanings

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Opportunists, fascists, populists, separatists, racists and generally just a bunch of scumbags. Officially the biggest party last election but didn't get to participate in the government since no one wanted to govern with them.

-position:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

They have their very loyal voting base, but I feel the general public has gotten tired of them, I think (and hope) they'll lose a few percent compared to last time.

- The small player that might actually matter:

-The Green party: Groen!

-leanings

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Environmental extremists and idealists. Most of the party members are vegetarians, most drive hybrid cars, or don't drive at all, several never take an airplane because of the pollution it causes.

-position:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Lost really bad last time, will make a small come back, possibly enough for them to be considered for a coalition, although most of us fear that scenario

On the other side of the language border: Ecolo

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Bigger party than their Flemish equivalent I think, don't know too much about them.

-My prognosis:

Catholics will become biggest party, then the Nazi's, then Socialists, then Liberals.

-Most likely coalition

Catholics with socialists, both sides of the border.

-What I want to see as a coalition

Catholics and liberals, at least this side of the border, I don't really care who leads the coalition.

-Worst case scenario

Socialists becoming the major govenrment party, picking up green in the coalition *shudder*.

-What i'm going to vote

Deduce that for yourself, it's pretty obvious.

[Louis VI the Fat]

-What i'm going to vote

Deduce that for yourself

No need for the secrecy. There's no shame in being a socialist, seccesionist, environmentalistic Catholic.

Now to wait for the other Belgians to come forth! Remember, we all know which party a Fleming votes when he refuses to comment on his preference...

since I don't know that much about the Walloons, anyone from that side of the country is invited to add some details.

We don't have any around, do we? So I'll speak for my oppressed brethren instead.

Following your scheme, but skipping the spoiler tags that are so exemplary of the Belgian tendency for secrecy and cover-ups concerning all things political:

-The 'liberals' : open-VLD
On the other side of the language border: MR
The big second party over there, they might possibly decrown the socialists this time.
Liberal is centre-right in Belgium. But no, they won't defeat the socialists. Not in a million years.


-The socialists : SP A
On the other side of the language border: PS
They 've been the biggest party there since the stone age, much of Wallony's downfall is attributed to them. We really don't like them this side of the border.
We really don't like them this side of the border either.


-The Catholics: CD&V
On the other side of the language border: cdH
Small party really, doesn't matter.
They've been the biggest movement in Flanders since the stone age. Much of Belgiums problems is attributed to them. We really don't like them this side of the linguistic border.
Accordingly, the Christian Democrats are called the Humanist Democrats in the French speaking part.


-The Nazi's: Vlaams belang

Nazism is a Teutonic curse. There is no such thing in Wallonia.
Okay, well there is the Front National Belge, run by convicted criminal Féret. He'll get his usual few percent.


The Green party: Groen!
On the other side of the language border: Ecolo
Bigger party than their Flemish equivalent I think, don't know too much about them.
History is with them. Unfortunately, reason is not.

My prediction for Wallonia:
Socialist PS, Liberal MR, Humanist cdH, Greens, FN.

[Louis VI the Fat]

The Belgian political system is so maddeningly confusing that no Belgian knows exactly who, what for, or even why they are voting this time. Hence, voting has been made compulsory. All the average Belgian is allowed to know at this stage is that they must get up and vote something this sunday, at the risk of a hefty fine.

This has led to important political experimentations like the one below, for which in the interest of international political intercourse I feel obliged to risk a warning point:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

A Belgian senate hopeful is offering voters something a bit more tempting than a one per cent cut in VAT and better rubbish collections - 40,000 free blow jobs to anyone who signs up at her campaign website.





Tania Derveaux represents NEE, an "impartial protest movement running for senate in the Belgian elections of June 10 2007", which "offers voters in Belgium the option to vote 'NEE' if they find that none of the parties deserve their vote".

According to Ms Derveaux, she originally pledged to create 400,000 jobs as a "response to incredible claims that were made by other parties in Belgium". This prompted wags to demand 400,000 blowjobs, which Derveaux has wisely reduced to 40k.

Still, by her reckoning she'll still have to suck like a good 'un for 500 days, servicing 80 hardened NEE supporters a day. We'll save you the trouble: if she puts in a seven-hour shift at the coalface, that means one punter every five-and-a-half minutes - without the benefit of a tea break.

Oh yes, married or shy people can elect to receive their bj in Second Life, so there's little excuse not to get your rocks off.

Edit: click here if you want her to give you a *******.
Free videos too!

[drone]

That's like voting Gah!, but with benefits!

[doc_bean]

Ah yes, we do have the best protest parties

About Wallony and the PS: I hope they'll lose in a few decades at least. Something i've noticed with 'our' system is that parties always reinvent themselves after a loss, which tends to mean new people with fresh ideas who are not totally jaded (and corrupt) yet. They'll still win this time though, since they have the unquestionable support of the poorest region of the country (and nearly of Europe, if what we're led to believe is true).

The PS represents everything that's wrong with socialism. keep the poor down so they keep voting for you

About the Catholics: I believe they were much like the PS now is, an arrogant organization sure of its power, and thus rife with corruption.
It's truly amazing imo how much has changed for our country in the last decade, when they weren't in control anymore, unfortunately, the liberals don't receive too much credit for what they've achieved. Yet our economy seems to be booming, we survived the recession mid-decade with barely a scratch, we've still got our great healthcare system, we have gay marriage and euthanasia now, and better yet, it hasn't destroyed society as some right winger would assume, we've semi-legalized pot (not fully legalizing it was a big mistake though), confidence in the justice system has increased from a mere 18% to nearly 50% (though if it's based on fact is another issue), taxes have generally gone down, or are allocated differently, youth unemployement this year is down 40% compared to last year (according to the figures recently released) and for the first time the same is true for our immigrants' children.
Of course, people focus on the negative, and true their are some issues, but I don't feel they weigh up to what has happened.
The Catholics really know what they are doing now, they barely have a program, they just claim to make better 'ministers' than the current generation of liberals. They're also allied to some idiotic separatist movement who believes we'll all be making much more money if we dump wallony. They might be right, but so effing what ? Are we going to dump all provinces that don't make enough cash to stay in our glorious union ? L'unité fait la force *is* still our national motto. Now, they're not extreme separatists, I expect them to stay reasonable in the coming negotiations, but I still the catholics should have left them to themselves. It would have only cost them a few West Flemish votes (I love a lot of things about the West Flemish, but let's just say they tend to be very focused on their own little village/city/province).

about Vlaams belang: they're allied with LePen in the EU parliament I believe

[Strike For The South]

Go Le Pen!

[doc_bean]

Go Le Pen!

[Rodion Romanovich]

The Belgian political system is so maddeningly confusing that no Belgian knows exactly who, what for, or even why they are voting this time. Hence, voting has been made compulsory. All the average Belgian is allowed to know at this stage is that they must get up and vote something this sunday, at the risk of a hefty fine.

This has led to important political experimentations like the one below, for which in the interest of international political intercourse I feel obliged to risk a warning point:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

A Belgian senate hopeful is offering voters something a bit more tempting than a one per cent cut in VAT and better rubbish collections - 40,000 free blow jobs to anyone who signs up at her campaign website.





Tania Derveaux represents NEE, an "impartial protest movement running for senate in the Belgian elections of June 10 2007", which "offers voters in Belgium the option to vote 'NEE' if they find that none of the parties deserve their vote".

According to Ms Derveaux, she originally pledged to create 400,000 jobs as a "response to incredible claims that were made by other parties in Belgium". This prompted wags to demand 400,000 blowjobs, which Derveaux has wisely reduced to 40k.

Still, by her reckoning she'll still have to suck like a good 'un for 500 days, servicing 80 hardened NEE supporters a day. We'll save you the trouble: if she puts in a seven-hour shift at the coalface, that means one punter every five-and-a-half minutes - without the benefit of a tea break.

Oh yes, married or shy people can elect to receive their bj in Second Life, so there's little excuse not to get your rocks off.

Edit: click here if you want her to give you a *******.
Free videos too!

Wow that's got to be the hottest politician ever! Not really democratic to have a candidate like that, as the ehm distraction could make voters forget about the political aspect of the election.

[Moros]

I love nonsense threads...

Anyone knows if you can vote for Leterme's goat?