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Love your AAR can't wait till your next chapter and too bad to hear about your screenshots and hope you don't lose them for your next chapter
Karo
Karo
I have no more lost screen shots now im also pretty much caught up to where im at in the game. I have two more chapters for you. I have been experimenting with picturing editing tools and trying to think up ways to include more images but not overloading the chapters too much. So i should get the next one up in two days. Somtimes Real life just has to take precedence over the internet
Guten Tag all Does anyone want to give me some tips? critisims you know the genral feedback im open to it all!! GWARNNNNN there must be somthing?!?!?!?!
Your doing pretty good right now. The only problem is some grammatical errors but other than that your on the right track. Keep it up!
Yes, the only problem is that is an little dificult to read and understand but since my english is not the best I cant complain 
Yes yes i can quote from an old school report from an English teacher
"Dominic Has the ability to write fun, interesting Stories and prose. He Fails however, to grasp an understanding of basic grammar and punctuation thus ruining a high standard of literal work"
I usually write these and get them finished before i go to bed so when im proof reading i skip over some stuff but i've written the new chapter up and i can proof read it once i get in from work and stick the pictures to match.
I thought maybe my AAR was a wee bit to Text heavy and that people would be put off by all the writing. I tend to go on a bit too much about background information and get descriptive of things that don't really need much attention making the AAR move at too slow a pace for some peoples liking.
"Dominic Has the ability to write fun, interesting Stories and prose. He Fails however, to grasp an understanding of basic grammar and punctuation thus ruining a high standard of literal work"
I usually write these and get them finished before i go to bed so when im proof reading i skip over some stuff but i've written the new chapter up and i can proof read it once i get in from work and stick the pictures to match.
I thought maybe my AAR was a wee bit to Text heavy and that people would be put off by all the writing. I tend to go on a bit too much about background information and get descriptive of things that don't really need much attention making the AAR move at too slow a pace for some peoples liking.
Tales from the Shepherd Empire
Chapter 6 - First battle for Celtiberia
Mastia was quiet the smell still lingered. On sometimes of the burning embers of former houses but mostly the smell of bodies. Even though the last bodies were burnt a week ago it still filled every cavity of the spacious city. Rotenanko was please his grandfather had taught him the city language. It was nothing like any of the languages he had heard before and he had heard quite a few. Greek, Iberian, Euskadi the Latin of the Romani tribe, it sounded not to dissimilar from the various Celtic languages that he had heard countless times. Discussing terms with his new citizens, they were prepared to be allies but he also knew that in the first sign of a landing from the foreigners they would quickly revolt. He wasn’t too worried he had heard that one before back in Gader no ship had ever arrived. He had declared himself king and with that had entered the other tribes full rights into the confederacy taking preference over the Carthaginian men. It had quelled any question of leadership and the massive slaughter of the majority of the Carthaginians had also shut the more rebellious elements of Lusotannan up.
It was always clear that there was a final obstacle in claiming the title of king of Iberia. The high centre of Iberia had been occupied by some of the hardiest of Celts. The Arevaci and their allies the Belli had been staunch defenders from further attacks into Iberia and had in a few instances stood alongside the Lusotannan against the same people which were now considered Lusotannan themselves. Even though Tantalos and Latronos had sent diplomats to the Arevaci and a promise to stop raiding was made it still occurred in Edanti, Cantabri and Carpetani areas under Moskon, the most feared raider in the land. This was something these people demanded an end to. It had always been Rotenanko intentions however, to force the Arevaci under his control.
Wealth had arrived in the Lusotannan Kingdom experienced generals, experienced soldiers and experienced governors. with a new powerful army It had never been any better. News had returned from north of the barrier, the world was a truly huge place. It would seem the Aeudi had nearly won the Gallic civil war. The story was they were the rightful rulers of the region and the usurpers; the Averni had rebelled against a sign of weakness in the face of invasion of Belgic gauls. The Romani lived on a land just to the east of the eastern sea. It stuck out like an arm reaching into the centre of the sea and clutching at all the trade that flowed along its serene waves. Many Romani visited the eastern coasts. They were not liked, very arrogant and condescending of Lusotannan ways even the Carthaginians hated them
Rotenanko had never known defeat heading towards the great fort of Numantia he ignored the warnings he was ready. He was going to achieve the dream of his grandfather and father the final piece in the puzzle was about to be complete. As he got closer settlements were deserted it was strange. The whispers of men were heard, shadows moved in the forests along the many trails that lead up the hill to Numantia. Now even Rotentako was scared the supply trains were ambushed and before people even knew what had happened the men faded away, they knew he was coming and they were waiting. Upon reaching the Numantian plateau it became very clear very quickly that they were prepared for him. Two armies were waiting, one inside the fort and one outside. Rotenanko told his men to pull back away from the city he was not prepared for this. A massive roar billowed out from the fort ahead. The march back became a trot then a gallop then a full speed charge as the roaring behind them never stopped. It followed them down the plateau and even when they were clear from the highlands horns could still be heard a mile or two away.
Rotenanko stopped the men were petrified and the in the distance above a thicket of trees a large army came down. The noise never stopped the supply trains long abandoned. His day of judgment arrived Rotenanko knew this would be the stand of the Lusotannan and he recognised the banner on the hillside. It was Moskon he had a fearsome reputation and led the best army in Iberia and it showed. Rotenanko spoke to his men he had to reassure them and he did well the men let out a war cry that rivalled any Arevaci horn the skirmishers were sent under cover into the thicket maybe they could tell what exactly Rotenanko was dealing with, Calvary, heavier spearman and infantry. The charge came and steel clashed The skirmishers had been caught on the right and a brawl had broken out towards the left the enemy Calvary tried to flank the troops Rotenanko anticipated this it was failed attack and the left flank stood firm not only that but the Lusotannan left had the advantage now he order them to try and out flank the left side of Moskons army trailing back to the right he glanced over the battle line and saw Moskon. He gestured at him “your next” he was heading the opposite way Rotenanko had to go to the right bolstering the troops moral as the full weight of Moskon’s army bore down on them.
Looking around Rotenko saw nothing but carnage the blood fuelled screams and roars of men falling and rising, killing and being killed. It had rained recently and the mud he stood on had churned up into sludge his arms were shaking in looking around all he could see was Gader and Mastia the screams of women and children his closest bodyguard griped it tight. “Sir are you ok? It would seem our left is winning and a chance has opened up to our flank on the right WE CAN DO THIS!!!!”
Rotenanko was spurred on by these words he suddenly realised that he was here by the will of the gods and his chance was now with a roar he led the men around the mass of sprawling skirmishes and Arevaci spearmen in the distance he could the left flank and it was curling up into a ball and absorbing the enemy fighters unit by unit beyond that fleeing Arevaci fighters of the He hadn’t even realised while looking at this he was charging head long into the back of the right flank fighters. He took a sharp intake of breath and looked to the sky the vultures hovered over head he was smiling. He sliced the head of a man clean off as his horsed shattered the spine of another The rage returned he surged into the crowd slaying many Looking around he saw some of his own men fleeing. He carried on but it was becoming apparent his men on the right were now all fleeing. The rage stopped and towards the left he saw the snowballing left flank move closer they would not reach him in time. Then in the corner he saw Moskon with 15 men behind he was in a V formation and heading his way He pulled the bodyguard out ignoring the fact his own right flank was crumbling and headed to Moskon. Moskon saw him and smiled the pace was picked up.
”RAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
“LUSTONAAANNNNNNNN”””” Moments from impact the men looked at each other and for Rotenanko time slowed down sword raised the horses screaming Moskon had a lance and he raised it at Rotenanko chest Rotenanko looked in his eye Moskon looked back smiling It was the look fighters gave each other on the battlefield the moment when you realised you were going to die. Rotenanko froze unable to move he watched as Moskon lunged forward he could hear the screaming of Carthaginian massacres they got louder and louder till he looked round too horses screeched as he saw two of his own bodyguard collide directly with moskons horse The sound was immense all around screeching horses and armour cracking the very force had killed both the body guards and Moskon Flew up above Rotenanko’s head, his lance shot off into the air he fell to the floor and the crunch of his bones was heard clearly. Rotenanko was motionless it was like a Wave had crashed upon a rocker shore as his bodyguard simply slammed into Moskons. Moskon was still moving shaking rapidly his eyes rolling back in his skull Rotenanko cut into his head and brain fragments covered his eyes. He swiped at them unable to get clear vision with the noise around panicked him and the shaking started.
”Moskon is DEAD Hooray for Rotenanko King of IBERIA!!!”
Looking around he saw men fleeing all over the place the snowball was closer to his left and to his right the fleeing the skirmish had broken lost without his close guidance. It did not matter now it seemed that Moskon death had made the right flank of the Arevaci falter they too started to break and the battles lines disintegrated into a mess as men fled left right and centre both Lusotannan and Arevaci Rotenanko smiled he knew what was going to happen next it was the only cure to his fits of rage With a quick blow of the horn the tribes would quickly know which side won the hunt began.
Chapter 6 - First battle for Celtiberia
Mastia was quiet the smell still lingered. On sometimes of the burning embers of former houses but mostly the smell of bodies. Even though the last bodies were burnt a week ago it still filled every cavity of the spacious city. Rotenanko was please his grandfather had taught him the city language. It was nothing like any of the languages he had heard before and he had heard quite a few. Greek, Iberian, Euskadi the Latin of the Romani tribe, it sounded not to dissimilar from the various Celtic languages that he had heard countless times. Discussing terms with his new citizens, they were prepared to be allies but he also knew that in the first sign of a landing from the foreigners they would quickly revolt. He wasn’t too worried he had heard that one before back in Gader no ship had ever arrived. He had declared himself king and with that had entered the other tribes full rights into the confederacy taking preference over the Carthaginian men. It had quelled any question of leadership and the massive slaughter of the majority of the Carthaginians had also shut the more rebellious elements of Lusotannan up.
It was always clear that there was a final obstacle in claiming the title of king of Iberia. The high centre of Iberia had been occupied by some of the hardiest of Celts. The Arevaci and their allies the Belli had been staunch defenders from further attacks into Iberia and had in a few instances stood alongside the Lusotannan against the same people which were now considered Lusotannan themselves. Even though Tantalos and Latronos had sent diplomats to the Arevaci and a promise to stop raiding was made it still occurred in Edanti, Cantabri and Carpetani areas under Moskon, the most feared raider in the land. This was something these people demanded an end to. It had always been Rotenanko intentions however, to force the Arevaci under his control.
Wealth had arrived in the Lusotannan Kingdom experienced generals, experienced soldiers and experienced governors. with a new powerful army It had never been any better. News had returned from north of the barrier, the world was a truly huge place. It would seem the Aeudi had nearly won the Gallic civil war. The story was they were the rightful rulers of the region and the usurpers; the Averni had rebelled against a sign of weakness in the face of invasion of Belgic gauls. The Romani lived on a land just to the east of the eastern sea. It stuck out like an arm reaching into the centre of the sea and clutching at all the trade that flowed along its serene waves. Many Romani visited the eastern coasts. They were not liked, very arrogant and condescending of Lusotannan ways even the Carthaginians hated them
Rotenanko had never known defeat heading towards the great fort of Numantia he ignored the warnings he was ready. He was going to achieve the dream of his grandfather and father the final piece in the puzzle was about to be complete. As he got closer settlements were deserted it was strange. The whispers of men were heard, shadows moved in the forests along the many trails that lead up the hill to Numantia. Now even Rotentako was scared the supply trains were ambushed and before people even knew what had happened the men faded away, they knew he was coming and they were waiting. Upon reaching the Numantian plateau it became very clear very quickly that they were prepared for him. Two armies were waiting, one inside the fort and one outside. Rotenanko told his men to pull back away from the city he was not prepared for this. A massive roar billowed out from the fort ahead. The march back became a trot then a gallop then a full speed charge as the roaring behind them never stopped. It followed them down the plateau and even when they were clear from the highlands horns could still be heard a mile or two away.
Rotenanko stopped the men were petrified and the in the distance above a thicket of trees a large army came down. The noise never stopped the supply trains long abandoned. His day of judgment arrived Rotenanko knew this would be the stand of the Lusotannan and he recognised the banner on the hillside. It was Moskon he had a fearsome reputation and led the best army in Iberia and it showed. Rotenanko spoke to his men he had to reassure them and he did well the men let out a war cry that rivalled any Arevaci horn the skirmishers were sent under cover into the thicket maybe they could tell what exactly Rotenanko was dealing with, Calvary, heavier spearman and infantry. The charge came and steel clashed The skirmishers had been caught on the right and a brawl had broken out towards the left the enemy Calvary tried to flank the troops Rotenanko anticipated this it was failed attack and the left flank stood firm not only that but the Lusotannan left had the advantage now he order them to try and out flank the left side of Moskons army trailing back to the right he glanced over the battle line and saw Moskon. He gestured at him “your next” he was heading the opposite way Rotenanko had to go to the right bolstering the troops moral as the full weight of Moskon’s army bore down on them.
Looking around Rotenko saw nothing but carnage the blood fuelled screams and roars of men falling and rising, killing and being killed. It had rained recently and the mud he stood on had churned up into sludge his arms were shaking in looking around all he could see was Gader and Mastia the screams of women and children his closest bodyguard griped it tight. “Sir are you ok? It would seem our left is winning and a chance has opened up to our flank on the right WE CAN DO THIS!!!!”
Rotenanko was spurred on by these words he suddenly realised that he was here by the will of the gods and his chance was now with a roar he led the men around the mass of sprawling skirmishes and Arevaci spearmen in the distance he could the left flank and it was curling up into a ball and absorbing the enemy fighters unit by unit beyond that fleeing Arevaci fighters of the He hadn’t even realised while looking at this he was charging head long into the back of the right flank fighters. He took a sharp intake of breath and looked to the sky the vultures hovered over head he was smiling. He sliced the head of a man clean off as his horsed shattered the spine of another The rage returned he surged into the crowd slaying many Looking around he saw some of his own men fleeing. He carried on but it was becoming apparent his men on the right were now all fleeing. The rage stopped and towards the left he saw the snowballing left flank move closer they would not reach him in time. Then in the corner he saw Moskon with 15 men behind he was in a V formation and heading his way He pulled the bodyguard out ignoring the fact his own right flank was crumbling and headed to Moskon. Moskon saw him and smiled the pace was picked up.
”RAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
“LUSTONAAANNNNNNNN”””” Moments from impact the men looked at each other and for Rotenanko time slowed down sword raised the horses screaming Moskon had a lance and he raised it at Rotenanko chest Rotenanko looked in his eye Moskon looked back smiling It was the look fighters gave each other on the battlefield the moment when you realised you were going to die. Rotenanko froze unable to move he watched as Moskon lunged forward he could hear the screaming of Carthaginian massacres they got louder and louder till he looked round too horses screeched as he saw two of his own bodyguard collide directly with moskons horse The sound was immense all around screeching horses and armour cracking the very force had killed both the body guards and Moskon Flew up above Rotenanko’s head, his lance shot off into the air he fell to the floor and the crunch of his bones was heard clearly. Rotenanko was motionless it was like a Wave had crashed upon a rocker shore as his bodyguard simply slammed into Moskons. Moskon was still moving shaking rapidly his eyes rolling back in his skull Rotenanko cut into his head and brain fragments covered his eyes. He swiped at them unable to get clear vision with the noise around panicked him and the shaking started.
”Moskon is DEAD Hooray for Rotenanko King of IBERIA!!!”
Looking around he saw men fleeing all over the place the snowball was closer to his left and to his right the fleeing the skirmish had broken lost without his close guidance. It did not matter now it seemed that Moskon death had made the right flank of the Arevaci falter they too started to break and the battles lines disintegrated into a mess as men fled left right and centre both Lusotannan and Arevaci Rotenanko smiled he knew what was going to happen next it was the only cure to his fits of rage With a quick blow of the horn the tribes would quickly know which side won the hunt began.
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