MTW2 Multiplayer Campaign Diplomacy thread.

[Csargo]

We will fund the Sicilian war effort, because it is obvious the Danish king is insane... but we want half of what they conquer...

Emperor *rollin in dough fo shoaw* Ichigo

[Askthepizzaguy]

so much for remaining neutral, eh?

[Csargo]

I'm off to conquer Poland *rides away*

[Askthepizzaguy]

shaking his head...

And they say I'm the insane one.


The Danish ambassador puts on his clown nose and lucky pink tricornered hat and begins to floss his eyebrows.

[Ramses II CP]

Seriously Ichigo? I'm assuming that wasn't IC, so I'm asking OOC I suppose. This is the only hotseat that I've done everything 'IC' for, so, frankly, if somebody declares war out of the blue I'll probably do something unexpected and completely uninteresting. The whole cheating mess left a sour taste on this one anyway, and IMHO there has been plenty of other nonsense making a mess of things as well.

[FactionHeir]

OOC:
I think Ichigo was just giving his OOC opinion on it in the last 2 posts.
Will you give your IC one?

[Ramses II CP]

OOC: Yeah, I'm about to check the save now. I'll post when I've done my turn.

[Askthepizzaguy]

ooc, and actually serious for a change:

I hope it wasn't my nonsense spoiling the game for anyone. I'm actually trying to liven things up and make it more fun, not less fun, and bring about a dramatic conclusion we can all live with.

I just couldn't stand pacing around Arhus training agents every turn... a bit too subtle and boring for me, and ultimately a self-defeating strategy. The longer the game goes on, the more irrelevant my faction becomes, as if it weren't already.

Perhaps if I were to be eliminated it would trigger the apocalypse, and that should be fun to play out, no matter who is playing for what team.

[Csargo]

Seriously Ichigo? I'm assuming that wasn't IC, so I'm asking OOC I suppose. This is the only hotseat that I've done everything 'IC' for, so, frankly, if somebody declares war out of the blue I'll probably do something unexpected and completely uninteresting. The whole cheating mess left a sour taste on this one anyway, and IMHO there has been plenty of other nonsense making a mess of things as well.

No. ATPG's response was so random and freaky that I rode the wave of insanity.

[FactionHeir]

OOC: Since your agents were welcome in HRE, you could easily have uhhhh used them and conquered a lot of territory ATPG

[Csargo]

OOC:The war to end all wars will begin soon it seems. It'd be fun if that's how it plays out.

[Askthepizzaguy]

conquered it where? in the HRE?

They have spies coming out of their arse, and although I could have probably blitzed their northern provinces, Scotland, HRE, Poland, and that annoying Grey faction which no one cares about would have all gang-banged me into oblivion.

Anywhere I conquer would bring about my instantaneous death. I've got something far more amusing in mind.

ATPG's response was so random and freaky that I rode the wave of insanity.

I tends to do that to people.

The Danish Ambassador puts on his duck slippers and howls like a rooster.

[FactionHeir]

OOC:
Your faction has a nice choke point though that is well defended and by the time HRE knew what hit them, they would already have been eliminated and you could have blamed that grey faction of doing it. In fact, I think both Sicily and Poland have maybe 2 or 3 family members each. Easy pickings for a large nation huh?

[Askthepizzaguy]

Nice try, but I won't be betraying MY allies today or using agents against them to conquer things. I believe that's your department.

[Csargo]

I'd live a life of solidarity in Alexandria. Though I'd be able to fight for a while. My cash reserves are high. WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON ME?

[Askthepizzaguy]

The Danish ambassador shows solidarity with his German brother by putting an hand on his shoulder, shedding a tear, and then whinnying like a baboon.

Don't worry, my friend, I'll defend you with my life. You needn't fear the puny Sicilians whilst Mighty Denmark is around to challenge them. Now there's just the small matter of destroying thier unstoppable army and avoiding our inevitable destruction.







EDIT: WHY AM I SO CONTROVERSIAL????

[Ramses II CP]

King Zbigniew's official position is simply that war between Catholics is madness, and will be opposed where-ever it starts. Denmark has acted rashly, has violated their given word to a neighbor and ally, and yet... It is unusual for Sicily to have had so skilled a man 'training' on rebels so close at hand to their public opponent in a squabble. Sicilian agents have taken very active roles in foreign lands in the past, to the detriment of many, including my own father.

I can only conclude that both sides are somewhat in the wrong, though it appears the Danes have wronged two parties at once. It is not my place to step into this difficulty directly, but I would suggest a withdrawal of agents and a one province 'de-agentized' zone betwee Sicilian agents and Danish ones. Such a DAZ could provide the proper context for a continuation of peace. In my father's tradition I shall make a vow never to invade the lands of fellow Catholics, unless they should attack Poland first.

I would also like to apologize to the Kaiser for, by necessity, declining his generous offer. I trust my loyal ally with my life, but cannot so wildly throw open my back country. I have counter-offered a different region with a similar income and potential.

I must also inform King Simon that one of my wayward generals (That first idiot that matured) is now deep in his recently conquered deserts around Jedda. The fool has no army with him, he simply wandered off as soon as he came of age; I will direct him towards neutral rebel territory as quickly as possible. The Princess' brother is also passing through Sicilian lands, north of Aleppo, after having escorted her to her wedding. I am sure he shall have a safe journey.

I will pray for peace, prosperity, and luck to bless all the nations of Europe!

King Zbigniew

[FactionHeir]

While We respect King Zbignew, We must reiterate that Our agents were in German lands training due to a lack of targets in Our own. As is natural for training, agents will become more skillful.
Now, We were willing to overlook this matter and continue on peacefully, however the Danes have refused to apologize to Us for their continued aggression andd transgressions and also refused to pay restitutions to Us and the Germans for their vile acts.

As they have been the first to spill catholic blood in these days and continue to do so without abatement, We feel it necessary to act in a manner that will prevent such from occuring ever again, and their continued taunts and insults aimed at Us do not help alleviating this consensus among Our people.

[Askthepizzaguy]

The Danish ambassador translates the Sicilian's words:

While We respect King Zbignew, We must reiterate that Our agents were in German lands training due to a lack of targets in Our own. As is natural for training, agents will become more skillful.
Now, We were willing to overlook this matter and continue on peacefully, however the Danes have refused to apologize to Us for their continued aggression andd transgressions and also refused to pay restitutions to Us and the Germans for their vile acts.

"While we laugh at "King Zbignew", We will continue to stick to our feeble story that a fully trained assassin was training near Danish lands due to an intense desire to murder Danish royalty. As is natural for liars, we will continue to compound the lie with more lies. Now, we were perfectly willing to continue pretending we didn't provoke such a response from the Danes, and continue to mass an assault against them and move agents ever closer to their eventual targets, however the Danes managed to heroically dispatch our top assassin and his delightfully ambiguous male partner, who is also unmarried, and the Danes refuse to be whores and prostitutes to Us, the single greatest threat to world peace."

As they have been the first to spill catholic blood in these days and continue to do so without abatement, We feel it necessary to act in a manner that will prevent such from occuring ever again, and their continued taunts and insults aimed at Us do not help alleviating this consensus among Our people.

"As they have been the first to spill Sicilian blood, instead of vice versa, and continue to do so in self defense, we feel it is necessary to save face by continuing to cling to our most ridiculous excuses for our wandering, maximum skilled agents and large Northern France invasion force, and continue with our plans to invade your ally and ignore your requests for peace, because frankly the Sicilians never gave a darn what any of you thought about our treacherous ways."

I've managed to translate bull-feces to English for ya!

[FactionHeir]

OOC:
The English were the first to die. Hardly anyone speaks that language
I think everyone speaks a mix of Italian or Polish

[Askthepizzaguy]

OOC-

I'd curse at you in Danish, but I believe that's against the forum rules!

[Csargo]

[FactionHeir]

So uh which country is Albertus from? And how come only you got to vote

[Ramses II CP]

If I remember right Albertus is Sicilian, and the elections probably didn't work all that well anyway. It was about time too, Gregory was really quite old.

[Cecil XIX]

OOC: Wait, so neither Sicily nor Spain got to vote. We're the only ones with Cardinals. Even though Sicily was going to win anyway, I at least liked the *possibility* of ten different nation negotiating as to who their Cardinal would support.

[Csargo]

So uh which country is Albertus from? And how come only you got to vote

I didn't get to vote either.