Imperial Diet V

[econ21]

Elberhard:

Dietrich is, of course, quite right. With re-unification, we are going to get the provinces back. His inference, of course, is quite wrong. The correct inference is that since we are going to get Naples and Palermo back, why create a hue and cry over losing them now?

But to answer Dietrich's question, the answer is @#$%^&!!!ing obvious: we give them away now so that we can get unification! Then we will not merely get these two provinces back, but gain many more from Constantinople eastwards.

And, of course, Emperor Isaac is making negotiations hard. Imagine if the situation were reversed, and Siegfried were going to negotiate with the Byzantines to put the entire Reich under the control of Isaac as Augustus. You'd expect him to bargain hard, wouldn't you?

Dieter Bresch - it is a good job I am hard of hearing or you would be out of 'ere, mate. Any whispering against the Kaiser that does come to my ear will bear severe consequences. And try to keep up - Palermo and Naples no more belonged to a Duke than Rome does! They were Imperial provinces.

Which brings me to my Bavarian brothers, Lothar and Matthias. My how they wail and protest! Yet, if we read Count Lothar's orders to the Bavarian Household Army, what do we find:

If he decides not to go, HA Otto will move to northern Italy, since Naples and Palermo have not been allocated to our House. If the Kaiser wishes these territories to be defended, he had better raise an army for them himself. Of course, Bavaria will be happy to take up that duty if they were to be allocated to those who fought so hard to take them...

Because Palermo and Naples were not allocated to Bavaria, the Bavarians were not willing to spare a single man to defend them. And yet how they wail at their loss now. Such hypocrisy!

Compare this with the stance of our Swabian brothers. Long have they bled and died for Paris and Caen, which the Kaiser - in his wisdom - denied to their House. But they were true members of the Reich, willing to sacrifice for the greater good and not concerned solely with the self-interest of their House.

Finally, talking of good Swabians, I must return to my friend Dietrich. Dietrich seems to think that it is against our Charter to give away territories. Yes, Palermo and Naples were incorporated into the Reich - the Kaiser even voted for that. But that does not imply they may not be gifted at a later stage. Several times have we gifted territory to secure diplomatic or other advantages. The entire point of not allocating Palermo and Naples to Bavaria was so that the Kaiser retained the freedom to dispense with them as he pleased. If the Charter Amendment had not been past, the Kaiser would have been forced to dispose of them immediately - regardless of whether their use in diplomacy was opportune.

Or, indeed, regardless of whether the Bavarians had decided to keep their honour and promised to defend what they had ever so bravely captured.

[OverKnight]

Matthias rises and bites off each word he speaks.

Don't lump me in with my brother, mein Prinz. I have no say in HA orders, I am concerned that we have given away, with little visible gains, two territories that were once considered part of the heartland of the Roman Republic and Empire. And yes, as a Bavarian, I am deeply concerned that my House now has a new neighbor. I would also remind you that a Bavarian Household Army will be executing Imperial policy in Thessalonica, so you best not antagonize my House or my brother too much.

Whether this is legal or not is of little concern. The Kaiser, and it saddens me, you mein Prinz, have hid the truth of these negotiations from the Electors. You both sold us a false bill of goods during the last Session, and now we see what you both had planned all along. I wonder what wonderful new surprises await us? I salute you both in your ability to bribe and hoodwink this body, myself included, but we will only tolerate so much. Chancellors have been removed from power before, and that option, despite the disdain the Kaiser holds toward this body, in actions if not in words, we still retain.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Dietrich von Dassel:

*sputtering in disbelief*

But, this is p-propostorous! What is the point of the incorporating something into the Reich in the first place - and voting for it too, I might add! - if you're just going to give it away at the first possible moment?! While this may be legal, it is most certainly ridiculous and a gigantic waste of time.

The Kaiser should have gotten our approval, German approval, first before he ran off to his whorehouses - excuse me, I meant diplomatic negotiations - in Constantinople to eagerly iron out the proposal with Emperor Isaac. Then we could all have been spared this mess.

[econ21]

Elberhard: I apologise to Count Matthias, and indeed to other Bavarians, for my hot-headed words. I spoke too quickly and without thought in impugning the honour of his noble House. The Count is right - the Bavarian Household Army Otto is sailing to Thessalonica in support of an Imperial mission and indeed our Eastern Roman brothers. My foolish words do them a great injustice. I @#$%^&!!!ed up. I am sorry.

But Matthias, I assure you - the Kaiser did not tell me of his intentions to gift these two provinces during or before the last Session of the Diet. I reiterate - the Kaiser is the Chancellor, not me. I am merely executing the instructions he relays and speaking for him in the Diet in his absence. I was not informed of the gifting until it was done. Indeed, I am not sure that the Kaiser himself knew of his plan to gift the provinces at the last Diet. I believe it was a decision made more spontaneously during the initial negotiations. Perhaps I am wrong on that. But that I personally am an ignorant @#$%^&!!!er, there can be little doubt.

[AussieGiant]

Strolling into the Diet from the adjoining salon where refreshments are served the Duke wanders over to the scribes.

For quite some time he rifles through them, making a number of audible exclamation sounds while eating a handful of cashew nuts. Slapping a few of the scribes on the hand, he begins to collect quite a number of sheets…finally he walks to the centre of the chamber, turning back to the scribes desk he asks quietly

You have copies correct…

A startled nod is more than enough for the Duke to continue.

MY LORDS!!!

May I have your attention for a few moments?

Pausing he finish's off the nuts and wipes his hand on the top of one of the scribes head to clean it.

Having just re-read a few of the most recent comments regarding this little “DEAL” being done in Constantinople, I’m reminded of a few lines…and I quote;

"We will also have to give up something in return"

"let us wait to see what can be negotiated"

"By the time he comes back to us, it will be too late to do anything further that other "take it or leave it"."

"Land, armies, titles, positions they will all be a topic of discussion and all are potential pieces to be bartered, traded and exchanged to make this deal work."

"I’m totally sure some of it will be unsavoury for some if most of us."

"If it is something we don't like, we will simply defeat the re-unification CA"

"The Prince has laid out that it will be us who will be in the primary power position in that relationship"

"and the subtle indications are that this negotiation is not being conducted from such a powerful position as we may all think."

"And I am not aware that any one of us will be asked to relinquish anything to the Byzantines except Prince Elberhard"

"When Kaiser Siegfried has completed his negotiations with the Byzantines, he will return to the Diet and present the result for your approval. Until then, for @#$%^&!!!s sake, stop calling for his premature return and address any questions you have to me."

"The Diet has not been ignored and will not be ignored."

"Those are the Kaiser's terms. If the Kaiser can get the Byzantines' agreement on these points, then he will return to the Diet to discuss the conditions for this agreement. If you do not like the Kaiser's terms or the Byzantine conditions, you - and indeed the whole Diet - will have an opportunity to vote them down."

And my personal favourite...

“There is absolutely nothing to worry about for the moment.”

Now I'd like to state that I firmly believe the men I have quoted are doing nothing but upholding the morals and values they believe in...

However...I don't want to be #$%#$ing rude my Lords, but the bequeathing of Palermo and Naples to our beloved Allies seems like quite a nice FIRST step towards an ongoing and highly entertaining event...

walking back towards the salon Arnold says to no one in particular

...I'm just wonder gentlemen when any of you will begin to wonder just what the @$#%@ is going on here, because I get the impression we are being bent over that chair over there...

Arnold waves his hand in the general direction of the Empress's vacant throne

...and being rodgered into submission!!!

I'll be in the salon if anyone thinks we have something to worry about....BECAUSE clearly everything that was quoted before is still 100 percent accurate...

As salon doors slams shut the Duke can be heard bellowing

...MY ARSE!!!

[TinCow]

*Duke Lothar stands and follows Arnold out of the Diet.*

[Tamur]

*Fritz von Kastilien rises and nods to the electors present*

My lords, something of a problem I notice in the latest Chancellor's report. I am wondering if any of you can shed some light on a line here...

*Fritz clears his throat and squints at a sheet of parchment, then reads*

"I have lost contact with the Prussian Household Army under Count Péter von Kastilien."

*Fritz lowers the parchment and looks around*

The last letter I received from Péter indicated that he feared for his life after this Diet session just passed. However, I sincerely hope he has not come to harm.

Anyone who has information regarding my brother's whereabouts, please contact me as soon as possible.