This seems to be an unfortunate side effect of the AI not following the same rules as the player. If you made a crusade army and did not move it for several turns it would disband, however CA realized that their AI was too stupid to move towards its target, so rather than making a smarter AI, they broke the rule. If they didn't, every AI crusade army would disband after 3 turns. I want to laugh and cry at the same time.
I guess all you can do if you don't want to assassinate the general is to wait it out. Is Antioch really that important to you? If it has been captured by Egypt it will be a declaration or war, and I thought you were trying to play a diplomatic game... Crusades (and Jihads) are hardly diplomatic, they are the best example of religion at its worst. Back to the point - if you take Antioch you might be facing tough opposition by Egyptian forces trying to take back their city, forcing you into another war which your diplomatic game would certainly disagree with.
My true suggestion for your diplomatic game. Side note: why are we talking about diplomacy - this is TOTAL WAR If you want Total Diplomacy play Europa Univeralis. Anyway, if assassins are against your rules, Buy Tunis: butter up the sicilians, give them territory (which you will buy back anyway, right?), whatever it takes, Crusade is off once you control it.
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