Bullying

[Karo]

How do bullies pic there victims, and why do they do bully people. In elemantry I was bullied but it stop when I became stronger than the people who bullied me. Now in high school and thee are people beying bullied because they are dressed diffrent than evrey one else or they don't love sports or are very quiet. But there many kids like that but how do they choose their victims and why.

[Fragony]

Boredom and typical group behaviour I guess. Social creatures like human-beings are doomed to be competitive. Bully's take the easy road and harass the easiest targets. So, don't be the easiest target, but some will always be.

[Craterus]

I believe it's down to picking the people who are the most different to themselves. It's easier to find ammunition and reasons that way.

[Csargo]

Bullies will probably pick their victims by who they think they can make fun of easily or could beat up easily. People who most people think are weird etc etc.

[English assassin]

I'm sorry to say it but IMO victims pick themselves. If you decide not to allow youself to be bullied, you won't be.

You might have to take a beating or two, but even if you do, the bullies will realise that you stand your ground. Then they will go to find someone who doesn't. A bully wants to find someone who is scared of him. So don't be.

I am not suggesting victims are to blame for being bullied, btw.

[Craterus]

I'm sorry to say it but IMO victims pick themselves

I am not suggesting victims are to blame for being bullied, btw.

Hmm, certainly sounds like it...

[Fragony]

Hmm, certainly sounds like it...

This sort of stuff doesn't change you know, it just grows a bit more complicated.
There will not be a moment in your life where you won't have to deal with it to some extent whatever your role in it will be.

[InsaneApache]

When I was a 'sassenach' living in bonnie Scotland I was targeted by a group of bullies. I took several beatings. One day on my way home from school I came across the ringleader, on his oddy knocky. He got an hiding that I bet he still winces at the memory of.

As he lay curled up at my feet, I warned him that this was only a foretaste of worse to come if I got so much as a slap in future.

The bullying stopped.

Moral: Don't be a victim.

[master of the puppets]

Confidence. The people who stare at there feet when you talk to them always get bullied because they won't stand up for themselves. The "different" people who arent willing to defend there choices in public (screaming matches or blows) will get picked on. If you honestly believe you are superior to them and resolve yourself to not take any crap then they will move off. BTW its always nice to have steadfast friends, everything is easier with a good friend to fight beside you.

[Husar]

Well, it works or it doesn't.

Last time I didn't like being humiliated my dad saw it and sent me to my room for kicking someone who was lying on the ground, after that the whole village seemed to hate me, even people I didn't know.

[Strike For The South]

Nothing a swift kick to the testicles and overt threats about burning his mother alive wont stop.

[Fragony]

Well, it works or it doesn't.

Last time I didn't like being humiliated my dad saw it and sent me to my room for kicking someone who was lying on the ground, after that the whole village seemed to hate me, even people I didn't know.

Well personally, people keep telling you how blessed you days as a teeanger are but personally I think they are the hardest, and I wasn't ever bullied in the first place mind you. Violence never solving anything is the poorest advice ever, probably given by women who prefer backstabbing their foes. Just give them hell daddy is secretly proud.

[Idomeneas]

The enviroment of school is just a big rehearsal for life. And army the last rehearsal before the show. Remember that.

Bullies usually are kids that face problems at home or with themselves. They torture easy targets just to remind themselves that someone can be more miserable than them. There are 2 kinds. The first one are strong kids with primitive enough thinking but also an inner code of honour. They will respect somebody who will stand his ground. The second one are really bad news guys. People whjo pack with many others and no sense of honour at all. Even if you beat him he will wait for you at a corner with 15 people around him.
The medicine imo is to socialize at school and have many friends that will stand by you if needed. And propably there wont be need cause they usually pick loners.

When i was at highschool there was a guy that was stronger and taller than anyone. He wasnt exactly the evil kind but he would fight at anytime if he felt ''offended'' . Usually when outsmarted .
Im not a small guy i always was normal to tall, and bulky enough. One day somebody threw an empty soda can and with the wind it landed on him. The thrower was scared and pointed me. So there i was in trouble for practically no reason. I could start saying it wasnt me but that sounded too pathetic in my mind. So i avoided as much as i could a punch and jumped him. I threw him with a good push on the ground on his back. Next thought was ''oh shit, im dead now''. Being lucky enough some guys stepped in and separated us while explained him it wasnt me. Next thing to my suprise he gave me his hand and apologised. I guess the fact that i wasnt THAT easy (although to be frank he could kill me anytime if i wasnt lucky) and that he was wrong made him shame. I never had problem with him again and we even became some sort of friends.
After few years while i was studying graphic design, i walked through a street known for its junkies. There he was. The stronger taller kid in school turned to a skeleton with rotten teeth. I talked to him and told him what the hell he was doing to himself. I just heard excuses.

Few years later i heard he died from overdose. I really felt sorry.

[Soulforged]

When I was a 'sassenach' living in bonnie Scotland I was targeted by a group of bullies. I took several beatings. One day on my way home from school I came across the ringleader, on his oddy knocky. He got an hiding that I bet he still winces at the memory of.

As he lay curled up at my feet, I warned him that this was only a foretaste of worse to come if I got so much as a slap in future.

The bullying stopped.

Moral: Don't be a victim.

It depends. I certainly stood up to my bullies. But I can tell you what happened to other person I knew. He had a group of bullies that always picked random people, he was one of them. Wrongly he decided to pick a fight against one of them bullies and beat the hell out of him. The next day one of the band comes with a gun to his house, rings and when he answer he shoots him and kills him. As simple as that. You've to know where you're getting into, if you want to play smart and survive. Two of the bullies from my neighbor ended up in a correctional and one of them is now in jail, they didn't give up after the first or the second time, they just kept coming with more people. If you already know the bully from a long time, and you know with who he hangs, then go ahead...

[Karo]

There's a guy on my school who's picked because he's very quiet and doesn't talk to much people on school. But he get's bullied by people who are younger than him. And I don't know why he doesn't do anything about it. And ther's an other guy who last year was talking about me behind me since than I'm tormenting him, but he doesn't dare to do anything. Why's that?

[Fragony]

There's a guy on my school who's picked because he's very quiet and doesn't talk to much people on school. But he get's bullied by people who are younger than him. And I don't know why he doesn't do anything about it. And ther's an other guy who last year was talking about me behind me since than I'm tormenting him, but he doesn't dare to do anything. Why's that?

The lamb of the gods. He will eventually do something or he won't, being a certified and mutually agreed on victim must be something on itselve I guess. At least he can feel sorry for himselve and blaim others for his hardships. Why does the other guy say that about you by the way, kinda having fun with it?

[Ramses II CP]

Fight back. It can't be said enough, fight back. The stuff that's going on in school feels really important, and I don't want to belittle it, but it's ultimately meaningless whether A hates B or C knocks down D. What does have meaning, however, is your capacity for self respect, and if you don't fight back you'll lose respect for yourself.

Also pay attention to your surroundings and don't expose yourself to dangerous situations.

As to why there are bullies, you just have to take a step back in your perspective to see that it's an natural system present in all communal species to enforce norms where other corrective systems aren't present. Dolphins, dogs, lions, chimpanzees and essentially all animals that live in groups and improve their survival chances thereby have mechanisms to push behavior towards a norm, the bullies are just playing their role in the system. I suspect that if you examine your own behavior closely you'll find that you do some of the same things to people who are further away from center than you are.

Later in life the bullying behavior changes it's tone to be less direct and physical, but you'll always have to deal with it. Learning how is one of the few meaningful lessons you'll get out of school.

Good luck.

[Karo]

We went last year to London with school, and me and a two friends and the guy where sleeping in one room in bed and breakfast place and there was a girl there that was calling him a girl pants and when we were back in belgium he started telling things about me that weren't true and all behind my back so I started bullieing him.

[InsaneApache]

Stop it. Stop it now. It's not good for you and even less for the bullyee.

Why do you bother so much about what people say about you? If you have the sort of self-respect that's based on you and not on what you do/wear/hang out with, then you'd feel no need to act in such a way.

I feel like Marjorie Proops.

[Karo]

I'm not bullied at school and I don't bullie people my self except that one case. But I hate when people talk about me behind my back, I don't talk behind their backs so I expect him to show the same respect for me.

[Warmaster Horus]

You don't want to be bullied and he doesn't want to be bullied either - if there's one right thing to do, it's to forget the whole thing.

Actually, if you're bent on revenge of sorts, do the same thing: talk behind his back.

[Lorenzo_H]

Bullies look for nothing other than weaknesses. They don't care who they bully, provided they don't damage themselves in the process.

So they look for people who are fearful or are weak.

If the bullying is physical, like the above posters have said, you need to fight back. Give the guy one good hit in the face. He will punish you for it most likely, but he won't ever do it again. Having said that, don't be eager. Let him make the first act of violence, then give it to him. Don't stop, get the adrenaline flowing; knock him down, keep you're fists, knees and legs thrashing until he a) runs away b) surrenders or c) stops moving completely. It's the basic concept of self defense. One particular move I am a big fan of is such that you can crush his windpipe in about 10 seconds. He will hopefully survive with an ambulance, but he will never forget it his whole life.

There is one chap in particular who wants a piece of me. He doesn't like me, and he thinks I am weak. I can taste that he wants a fight; he can sense I don't want one. He will soon find out that the 6'3" 14 stone creature I am isn't purely for looks. I intend to hospitalise him.

[caravel]

I was taught by my father simply: "don't talk, just break his nose". This had always worked for me during my school days, but won't work for everyone - especially in this day and age.

Generally if you happen to be smaller, weaker, timid, not into the latest fashion or in any way different, then you can become a target. In the UK bullying is still a massive problem in schools and has been exacerbated by the current PC mad society we live in. No longer can the teacher take a stick to the little bastard responsible - nowadays a teacher can lose their job on the strength of a false accusation. There has been a few bullying related suicides most notably by girls, over the last few years. In many cases the victims are bullied via messages sent to their mobile phones - and physical attacks on the victims are often filmed using these same devices. Victims are even targeted near or even inside their own homes - it doesn't always stop at the school gates.

It is a big problem but it is only indicative of a much wider problem with society as a whole.

[Andres]

When I was a little kid, I got bullied regularly at school.

Until I hit one of them right in the face. And a couple of days later, I hit another one right in the face.

I never got bullied again.

Like the other posters said: you have to stand up for yourself one way or the other.

As for the talking behind your back: get used to it It happens all the time and it doesn't get better when people grow older. On the contrary. Besides, rest assured: one day, without realising it, you'll be doing it yourself. It's in our nature and thus it is inevitable.

[InsaneApache]

Don't stop, get the adrenaline flowing; knock him down, keep you're fists, knees and legs thrashing until he a) runs away b) surrenders or c) stops moving completely. It's the basic concept of self defense. One particular move I am a big fan of is such that you can crush his windpipe in about 10 seconds. He will hopefully survive with an ambulance, but he will never forget it his whole life.

Good grief! Never punch anyone in the windpipe, that's unless you'd like to spend some time at Her Majesties Pleasure [TM]

I wonder why I bother sometimes.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Bullies look for nothing other than weaknesses. They don't care who they bully, provided they don't damage themselves in the process.

So they look for people who are fearful or are weak.

If the bullying is physical, like the above posters have said, you need to fight back. Give the guy one good hit in the face. He will punish you for it most likely, but he won't ever do it again. Having said that, don't be eager. Let him make the first act of violence, then give it to him. Don't stop, get the adrenaline flowing; knock him down, keep you're fists, knees and legs thrashing until he a) runs away b) surrenders or c) stops moving completely. It's the basic concept of self defense. One particular move I am a big fan of is such that you can crush his windpipe in about 10 seconds. He will hopefully survive with an ambulance, but he will never forget it his whole life.

There is one chap in particular who wants a piece of me. He doesn't like me, and he thinks I am weak. I can taste that he wants a fight; he can sense I don't want one. He will soon find out that the 6'3" 14 stone creature I am isn't purely for looks. I intend to hospitalise him.

Yeah, that might get him suspunded longer then you for bullying you, but when he comes back to school, depending how screw up he is, he might come in with a certain thing in his hands that has 3 letters and um... You get my point.

But yea, you fight that chap. I always got into a fight with this boy who was stonger then me, in 8th grade, but you think I cared? I was taller then him, but he was a football player, so he was stonger, but my gym teacher broke us up.

[Beirut]

Well, The Frontroom is growing a pair in this thread, isn't it? But let us please restrain our enthusiams.

(Yes, "enthusiasms". A la DeNiro's Capone.)

For what it's worth, I told my 11 year-old daughter if any boy ever touches you without permission, you have my permission to close your fist and pound him straight in the face. I guaranteed her my fullest support in the face of any and all school authorities. Or anyone else for that matter.

No way am I raising a girl who will allow herself to be bullied by an insecure man.

[Csargo]

Well, The Frontroom is growing a pair in this thread, isn't it? But let us please restrain our enthusiams.

(Yes, "enthusiasms". A la DeNiro's Capone.)

For what it's worth, I told my 11 year-old daughter if any boy ever touches you without permission, you have my permission to close your fist and pound him straight in the face. I guaranteed her my fullest support in the face of any and all school authorities. Or anyone else for that matter.

No way am I raising a girl who will allow herself to be bullied by an insecure man.

How it should be.

I was taught to never start a fight, but if someone else pushed me or something like that, that my parents would support me if someone else started it. I'm not a big fan of violence, and I've successfully avoided getting into any fights in my life(it probably helps being 6'3" 200lbs)

[naut]

to close your fist and pound him straight in the face.

I'd suggest what I taught my sister, the jab in the eyes, kick in the testicles, break the foot move.

On the subject of bullying, being human and not perfect I've been on both ends.
-At primary school there was one guy who picked on me, just name-calling and the like. So I got him in a neck-lock, he kicked me in the nads though, but it ended the bullying. As an aside his parents had just got divorced, so that may have been the reason.
-As I moved country I experienced bullying when I arrived in Australia. I was bullied by numerous people for being new and different, and I guess because I had no friends at that stage it made me an easy target. But, one of the guys who picked on me became a really good friend in the end though, I persevered, and was proud and it stopped.
-At high-school there was a guy who got picked on badly by a couple of my mates, and due to peer-pressure I ended up picking on him too. But he got a teacher I respected (who's a friend now) to talk to me and I helped stop the people picking on him. He's a really good friend of mine now, top bloke.

Now I've finished school, as of last Thursday, and I've got over my celebration hangover I'm looking forward to the world beyond.

But I've got to say having a good honest laugh with a mate is a lot more fulfilling than picking on somebody who's down and out.

[pevergreen]

If you are being bullied, your parents will tell you to go to the teachers. A few weeks ago I would have agreed with everyone in here. Fight Back/Stand up for yourself.

One guy was drunk, at his friends house, who was drunk. He was there to play Warcraft 3. He started paying me out. After a few hours of it, I got annoyed. I asked him to sum me up in one sentance. He did. I sent it via email to the year level co-ordinator. That entire group of idiots hasnt spoken or looked at me since.