Bullying

[Moros]

We went last year to London with school, and me and a two friends and the guy where sleeping in one room in bed and breakfast place and there was a girl there that was calling him a girl pants and when we were back in belgium he started telling things about me that weren't true and all behind my back so I started bullieing him.

You're from Belgium? Where are you from I'm from Bilzen, Limburg. Currently studying in Leuven though...

Anyway On Topic:
I've always been one of the smallest if not the smallest from my class. Never got any bullying. But I think that was because I was quite "social", as Extroverted as can be. That and when I was young (junior) I was the kid who'd take any challenge for money or... My favourite was do or dare. I alway chose dare. I can't even remember one time I didn't do what I was told. So though some of the girls thought I might be err...disgusting, I was usually befreinded with nearly all the boys of my age. Never been bullied, I did stand up for some guys or grils I knew though. I was the smallest kid, but I was quite a violent kid too. Can't imagine ever losing a fight... and I did fight quite a lot. (I even kinda liked fighting, I remember that when I was about 12-11 years old a freind of mine got attacked by whole class of kids 2 years younger, neve knew why, jumped in and well the best 10 minutes of that year really...)

To my embarresement I must acknowledge that I however have bullied a kid, though. Being quite young isn't an excuse and the fact that it was a bit the parents fault isn't an excuse either. Kinda embarreses me. The boy had some psychological problems had Asperger and probably quite a lot more (He really should have gone to a specialized school). He was even more aggressive than me. And I think it was his agressiveness, what really caused him to be bullied. (He was the kind of kid who throw rocks/sand/... to you if had lost a game of tag,...)

I think that there are a few criteria upon which bullies decide who to bully:

1) a difference, something that seperates the boy(s)/girl(s) from the others. Not that different from what a lot of political leaders did in the past. How can you better take a good position in a community, or get the community following you than when you have a common enemy. Just like Alexander Chose the Persians, like Bismarck chose the French, like Bush chose...

If the bully feels insecure,... This will be a/the major factor

2) Easy Target. Someone who doesn' have many freinds, influence or ... Is a weak target and can easily be bullied. Bullying a single little is much easier than a group of Hell's Angels I've heard.

3) Past experiences. If the kids have bad experiences with each other they are more likely tio bully each other. (see above, cause in that example the kid had thrown rocks to my head. I beat him up the day after. And if that happens once it doesn't take as much for the second time.

4) Self confidence. A big factor too. Someone with little or no self confidence, won't stand up easily, usually isn't verry social. And usually doesn't give a too good first impression.

5) Strength. if a knight has to kill someone, anybody really, he'll rather kill a peasant than a king's guard. Unless he wants t achieve much prestige. Sometimes te strongest get attacked because of this. It is rare though. Thus mostly the weak get chosen

6) Appearance. Not only different people but also, ugly people get chosen rather rapidly. Can't recall any 'good looking' people get bullied. Except if he/she was the only one in a buch of damn bad looking $$$$$$'s.
People rather like being seen hanging around with the popular. Also those tend to be difficult to bully around as they have self confidence a lot of freinds and not much to make jokes about.

7) Joke material. If you can make a lot of jokes about someone. He's an easy target. It tends to get boring and it ain't easy, if it ain't fun for others to bully someone, as you'll lack support. Bullies need to have an audience or a support base. You'll rarely see bullies bullying on their own.

8)Money. If you have not much, you can't follow everyone else when it comes to fashion, movies, Games,... As such you can't always talk along. Or become different. Also jokes are easy. Thus again an easy target.

However the opposite can also be true. Though rich kids tend to be popular, this is far from always the case. Some can be rich, but might have ream severe parents, and get a bit dorky. (the one who have to wear silly costumes, need to learn to lay five instruments,...) The kid doesn't have many freinds, usually ain't the strongest, but has quite a bit of POCKET MONEY... I think you can think of the result yourself.

9) Sports. Those who are good at sports tend to be popular. It's like the prettyness of girls.



I think that's most of it...

How to not get bullied? HAve freinds. Make freinds. Good ones. Don't overly react nor ignore them. If they try to make fun of you, out funny them. If they to out strengthen you out smart them. And if they outsmart you, well they should be able to as they remain bullys. Which implies and proves them not being smart. Standing up? Yes that can work, not always. Some like a challenge or some like awaiting you with all their freinds. "Outnormalling" them and keeping your 'cool', is also a possibility, bullies can't be the ones who are more different. They can't as bullying the person who stands for 'the community' - they need to prove themselves to, or want be part of - will weaken their position and won't give them the confidence and securities they need. Another option is to out bully them, but this can be dangerous and bring things to a whole new level. You really need to know who you're up against and even more difficult have a realistic image of yourself, if you want to outbully the bully.