I agree with you on both counts. It took me a long time to find a mod I liked, which I why I've been spouting off about Stainless Steel recently in several threads. A guide to the various mods would be very useful.

Also, I'm pretty sure that SS 4.1 doesn't change either the campaign or battle AI. I think the improved AI are only bundled in with versions 5.0 and higher (which require Kingdoms). I personally downloaded just the AI parts of the Ultimate AI mod and installed them onto my SS 4.1 mod. I have noticed a decent improvement in both the campaign and battle AI as a result. There are still major problems, but many of the blatantly ridiculous aspects have been eliminated. I find that AI siege defense in particular is now relatively decent.