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Thread: What game would Jezus play?

  1. 01-30-2008, 21:45 #1
    Adrian II
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    Default What game would Jezus play?

    Had a good laugh with this one. Please comment and make me laugh some more.

    Test the wares, my friends:

    There's no passage in the bible that says, "And thou shalt lift lots of animals over your head and carry them to Jerusalem." Also, the way you lose in the Baby Moses game is by dropping Moses in the river which feels a little morbid for a game that is presumably aimed at children. Not only have you just drowned a baby, but you've doomed the Jews. Nice going, kid.
    Or this one:

    Winning the game requires knowledge of a bunch of obscure bible trivia, constantly completing bizarre mini games that seem to be pointless rituals of repetition, and even if you do everything you're supposed to, God can randomly take everything away from you. In other words, it's just like being a devout Christian.
    Last edited by Adrian II; 01-30-2008 at 21:53.
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  2. 01-30-2008, 21:56 #2
    Mouzafphaerre
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    .
    What game would Jezus play?
    Find out my posts in the what are you playing thread and learn. Yea, I'm that holy.
    .
    Ja mata Tosa Inu-sama, Hore Tore, Adrian II, Sigurd, Fragony

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  3. 01-30-2008, 21:57 #3
    rory_20_uk
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    And there was I thinking of "the Sims"...

    An enemy that wishes to die for their country is the best sort to face - you both have the same aim in mind.
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  4. 01-30-2008, 21:59 #4
    Gregoshi
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    What game would Jesus play? Halo, Halo 2 and Halo 3 of course.
    This space intentionally left blank
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  5. 01-30-2008, 22:09 #5
    drone
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Duke Nukem Forever. Because he (and only he) can.
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    If I werent playing games Id be killing small animals at a higher rate than I am now - SFTS
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  6. 01-30-2008, 22:17 #6
    Tribesman
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    It would have to be armageddon
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  7. 01-30-2008, 22:52 #7
    Geoffrey S
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Congratulations! You have won!
    But in order to live a victorious life, you need to give your heart to Jesus Christ. Refer to the end of our manual.
    Manual? The Bible? What about troubleshooting?
    "The facts of history cannot be purely objective, since they become facts of history only in virtue of the significance attached to them by the historian." E.H. Carr
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  8. 01-31-2008, 00:34 #8
    CountArach
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi
    What game would Jesus play? Halo, Halo 2 and Halo 3 of course.
    That was a great effort...
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  9. 01-31-2008, 02:49 #9
    ajaxfetish
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Ha! A friend of mine came across #2, The Bible Game, and brought it to a party at my place a few months back. It was the funniest video game I've ever played (all unintentional humor, of course). It took tacky to new extremes and we were all quickly rooting for the Wrath of God to strike.

    Ajax

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  10. 01-31-2008, 08:12 #10
    HoreTore
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    I had that Noah game on an old 386, came with one of those bundles of 1-200 games you got back then...

    It didn't work though. It worked for a few minutes, then crashed.
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban
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  11. 01-31-2008, 09:35 #11
    Adrian II
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Quote Originally Posted by ajaxfetish
    It took tacky to new extremes and we were all quickly rooting for the Wrath of God to strike.
    Quote Originally Posted by HoreTore
    It worked for a few minutes, then crashed.
    There is a ring of truth to what the authors say:

    Not surprisingly, we found that devout fundamentalists
    often make incredibly bad game designers.
    They have the same shortcomings as the Islamic boomsky crowd: no sense of humor, no imagination, no class.
    The bloody trouble is we are only alive when we’re half dead trying to get a paragraph right. - Paul Scott
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  12. 01-31-2008, 11:42 #12
    Ronin
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Hockey obviously..




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  13. 01-31-2008, 12:46 #13
    Andres
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Andres is our Lord and Master and could strike us down with thunderbolts or beer cans at any time. ~Askthepizzaguy

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  14. 01-31-2008, 14:30 #14
    Vladimir
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    My favorite, in all it's variations.



    Reinvent the British and you get a global finance center, edible food and better service. Reinvent the French and you may just get more Germans.
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  15. 02-01-2008, 20:26 #15
    Rameusb5
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladimir
    My favorite, in all it's variations.

    OK, I'm stealing that!


    Rameus
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  16. 02-01-2008, 23:26 #16
    Philippus Flavius Homovallumus
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladimir
    My favorite, in all it's variations.

    Mine too, curse you for posting first.
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  17. 02-03-2008, 00:22 #17
    Reverend Joe
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?



    ...And the obligatory "Jesus Saves" joke:



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Also, no offense meant to Jesus. I think he was an alright character; I just hate the people who built a crazy-ass cult up around him.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Seriously, if he does come back, he's gonna be pissed at what the Christians have done in his name.

    "Damnit, no -- I said SAVE them, not KILL them!"


    ...@Adrian: You misspelled "Jesus."
    Last edited by Reverend Joe; 02-03-2008 at 00:23.
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  18. 02-03-2008, 02:16 #18
    Vladimir
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    He's had a problem with that lately. Tisk Tisk.


    Reinvent the British and you get a global finance center, edible food and better service. Reinvent the French and you may just get more Germans.
    Quote Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars
    How do you motivate your employees? Waterboarding, of course.
    Ik hou van ferme grieten en dikke pinten
    Down with dried flowers!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


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  19. 02-03-2008, 09:12 #19
    Adrian II
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    Default Re: What game would Jezus play?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vladimir
    He's had a problem with that lately. Tisk Tisk.
    I know. Vlamidir here has been a big help.
    The bloody trouble is we are only alive when we’re half dead trying to get a paragraph right. - Paul Scott
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